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Why People Insist on Giving Unsolicited Advice

Updated on September 11, 2018
S W Moore profile image

S. W. Moore teaches spoken English, business English and U.S. history at Datong University in China. He writes articles on various topics.

Everybody Needs Someone

In the world there are people with varying degrees of abilities, riches and intelligence. Some better or worse than others. Take writing for example. There can only be one author in the world who could be considered the worst, and there can only be one John Irving. In finances, everyone is somewhere in between Warren Buffet and the poorest man in the world. Only one man can be considered the dumbest in the world, and there is only one Christopher Langan. All other people: you who are reading this, and just about everyone you encounter in your daily lives will more than likely be seated comfortably next to each other; somewhere in the middle. The moral here is that no matter who you are, what you are, or what you do, there will always be two sides to this coin we call life: people that can help you, and people that you can help.

Some People Have a Sincere Desire to Help

Just as you might find in any situation; you have some who have no desire to assist those around them, regardless of the circumstances, then you have those who will have an unwavering desire to help others no matter the cost. We are all different, and thus we manifest our ability to help others in various ways. Some people give money, some give of their time, some lend their skills, and others proffer advice. Regardless of the sincerity of those who are offering their knowledge to those who seem to be misguided in their direction, they have unfortunately been blessed with a gift that has taken a bad rap over the years.

My advice to those who are gifted in bestowing wisdom on others: be forthcoming in giving it to those who ask, but practice restraint when they do not. If you have presented yourself in a manner that conveys honesty, intuitiveness and amicability, then one day when that person who needs help comes to the realization that they need it and they want it, they will search you out. On the other hand, to those who have received unwanted advice: do not letter anger be your first reaction. The person giving you advice just might be sincere in their gift, and the advice they are offering may be just what you need at that moment. If you shut them out now, then later when you really need them, they may not be there.

Some People Are Seeking Accolades

On occasion one runs across someone who makes it a habit to share a bit of newfound knowledge in an effort to draw praise from their listeners. They are not interested in strengthening anybody. Whether you heed their advice or not is irrelevant; just listen and exclaim how smart they are. Most commonly this advice they are passing off is unwanted, annoying, and can even sometimes be completely useless. In many cases the person offering their advice is not really qualified to give it. They have simply recently read a 2 page pamphlet on a particular subject, and now they feel they are an expert in the area. In this case it is simply best to thank them for their advice, let them know you will think about what they said, and then get back to the important things in your life.

Some People Need to Prove Their Own Worth

Many people in this world, for one reason or another, have convinced themselves that they are above those around them. It may not necessarily be in all areas, but could be in one particular area. In a lot of situations this is because the person in question has realized that they needed to make some changes in their lives. Now that they have accomplished this feat, they tend to look down on those who are still embroiled in the same habitual lifestyle in which they, not too long ago, were also wallowing. They take every opportunity to let you know that what you are doing is wrong, and how much better they are than you because they had the wherewithal to overcome. It does not matter whether you have quit smoking, drinking, doing drugs, robbing banks, or any other forms of corruption; everyone needs to remember that they were once partakers of the same, and lest it be forgotten, anyone can easily wind up in the same place again. Paul put it succinctly when he wrote: And such were some of you.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. I Corinthians 6:9-11

© 2018 Stephen Moore


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