Why Do People Lie for No Reason?
Lying for No Reason
We all lie from time to time. Mainly for self-preservation or to protect someone we love. But why do some people lie all of the time for no good reason?
According to statistics and research most people lie once or twice a day. Both men and women lie in approximately a fifth of their social exchanges. what? I found this fact quite shocking. But this is quite normal behaviour for most of us it seems. These will be little white lies or exaggerations.
Lying consistently about anything and everything
Pathological lying is habitual or compulsive lying. It's an illness that can be treated just as any other mental illness. There may be many reasons that people cannot stop lying. From childhood experiences to those later on in life. Generally a compulsive liar in adulthood would have been lying for many years, probably from childhood. It's a behaviour that progresses and becomes just as natural as eating a meal or brushing ones teeth.
While we may think a lie is stupid when we discover it because we can see no reason for it the liar does have a reason and to them it is important and consequential.
People may exaggerate life experiences to gain approval. They may lie about their achievements, they may lie about how much they are enjoying life and post about it a lot. This type of lying is very common and shouldn't be taken too seriously as it's generally down to insecurity or a lack of confidence in real life. People that consistently lie online are generally not afraid of being found out because they don't think this type of lying has any consequences.
Lying in Relationships
I once had a boyfriend who lied consistently. He'd lie about things he'd done in the past, he'd make up non-existent stalking ex girlfriends, he'd lie to get money out of me, he'd lie about seeing other women, seriously, the list was endless.
When You Suspect Lying But Can't Prove It
I always had a feeling that he was lying. In the pit of my stomach I knew that I was right, but compulsive liars are clever. They are very good at making you feel like a crazy person for even suggesting they might not be telling truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. At the time of my involvement with this man I was frustrated and upset a lot. Now however, I am fascinated by his behaviour and wonder what led him to become this way, or was he an accomplished liar because he'd been doing it since he was a child?
A good liar needs to have a very good memory and most accomplished liars do. They are on it and they are ready with a defence should there be any hint of a lie being uncovered. There will always be another lie to counteract any suspicion.
Should You Confront a Liar
If you are sure you are being lied to then yes you should confront that lie head on. The best way at first is to be open and come right out with it. If you are lucky the lie will be admitted and you can move forward from that point. If however, the lie is covered up with another lie or you are made to feel like an idiot for even suggesting an untruth, then you should stand your ground and let it be known that you are sure a lie has been told. Do not let yourself be talked down without solid proof. Generally, we know when we are being deceived. When we allow ourselves to be talked down, it's because we don't want to be right. We don't want our lives to be disrupted.
For me that was the case. I was twenty three and living with my then boyfriend. I didn't want to pack everything up and move back in with my parents but I couldn't afford to get my own place so that would have been the only option at that time. So I let him lie to me and made myself believe him because it was easier than the alternative. Eventually however, it all came to a head and I realised I'd had enough. I knew that I'd never have the truth from him. He'd become so good at lying and I even think he enjoyed the deception.
Real Life isn't Exciting Enough
Some people lie because they just don't like the life they have and they aspire to be more and do more only they never actually do. They just pretend to everyone around them until they eventually lie as second nature. Perhaps they even believe some of their own lies in the end.
Sometimes a Lie is Necessary
I do believe that it is necessary or rather kind to lie sometimes. If that lie is going to stop someone from being hurt or make them feel better and there is no real consequence to the lie.
Full on honesty in some cases may be detrimental to someone else and we should all do what we can to protect the people we love. If that means telling a white lie then I'm all for that. Honesty can hurt in some cases, so be kind people :)