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Working Out Of Body With Deviants
Retrieval of a Serial Rapist who had no qualms about killing
I have this retrieval in my book Road Signs, Shifting Gears Between Two Worlds published in 2007. Much time has passed and this retrieval has the position of being one of the more prominent ones so I will jot it down in hopes I can do my small part, that one may benefit from my words somewhere. Especially I would like to appeal to mothers everywhere to never tell a little boy he is no good, and that he will not find a woman to love him. For that is the point of this true adventure I tell, that mothers everywhere can shape the soul of the little boy who will be a man someday.
This was not only a retrieval, it was an out of body experience. of which I don't do a lot of OBE, not at all. I feel more grounded into physical life than I ever did before and that is well too.
And so I begin. You can always tell when it's a lucid dream or an OBE, or just an ordinary dream. In an OBE, you will have a sense of traveling through space perhaps. This sense of traveling is short and fast, but vivid as a sense of movement. I've often likened it to an electric current ride, swift and dark but never scary. The sense of travel never occurs in a mere dream. In dreams a scene just opens up and you are there in it.
I arrived to a staging area where a whole group of people seemed awaiting my arrival, while at first it seemed I was just popping in to observe the goings on. I was elected to be the actress and I took my position beside a man I'd never seen before. There was some kind of introduction but little detail on the outline of the plot we would enact, the drama. I was to play the part of another woman than myself, to demonstrate how to avoid getting one's self killed on this planet. The woman was in the audience, but I don't think she was physical anymore. Indeed, I was not introduced to her, but sensed the woman I would be playing was not really myself, but a part. I've always loved acting and so I was a most eager participant.
The scene shifted when I was instructed to stand outside the door and make an entrance into an apt. I was to be this woman, and so I stepped into a form that was not me. As I stood in the entrance I looked down at my body and I could see this was not my body. This was the body of a lovely career gal. A high climbing type, very successful in her work. She was a lot of things that I was not. She was single because her ambitions were only on work concerns.The apt was high rise, security apt and nicely decorated. Also nothing like my own humble abode. As her, the apt. was quite familiar. I sensed that every night I came home here with basically the same routine and enjoyed my quiet time before the next day would begin. I felt her self pride, I felt all her feelings and I got into my role and lost my sense of being Alysia, all good actors will do this. get into the role.
Life is a stage. I came into the apt., kicking my shoes off and hungry went into the kitchen, still preoccupied with the days events at work and how satisfying life was to me, and how important I was becoming to the company's success as I climbed up the ladder slowly but surely.
In the kitchen the man hid, having broken into a security apt. somehow. I knew at once he had been tracking my every move for months and I had not noticed, but felt safe in a high security building. I momentarily went into shock about how he had gotten in. He grabbed me from behind and put me into a vise grip whereby struggle was useless. My mind was working all the time how to turn the tables whereby the prey controls the predator. I decided if I were to become this man's breakfast, toast, as it were, I was going to talk all the way through it. I thought to befriend him by pretending we were friends. My yapper would save my life if I played it right.
As I relaxed my body in his grip, he sensed no struggle in me to resist him. I sensed at the slightest provocation he would use physical force to sublimate my will. When he sensed no resistance in me, he dropped his arms which had been so tight around me. He had been anticipating a struggle whereby he would become sexually excited. With no struggle to ensue I bought myself a little time. A small success. I was spurred on. he began a sort of strut dance around me whereby he told me of what he was capable of doing to me, as he'd done it before, he was telling me he was a serial rapist and that on occasion he had had to kill the victim. He said he most often let them live, but two of them had had to be killed, and he said this with no remorse.
He said all this grinning. He began to brag that he gotten into my apt., knew my routine. I felt no fear, as when I'd relaxed in his grip I'd conceded I was in his control, insofar as my body was concerned, so couldn't fear the inevitable, should I die here, or just be raped. I digress briefly her to say the young woman whose body I now wore did not know what I knew. That the body was only housing for the soul voyage in earth life system. This gave me an advantage over defeating the initial sheer terror of becoming a potential victim. I started to conceive how to make him feel love and also I had a plan to get him on my side, whereby we could exit this isolated apt and go for a drive, where on a drive it was possible I could jump from the car if I was quite clever. Love is not a feeling you can conjure up out of nowhere. I searched deep to feel the power of love to save me.
I began to look at his face and tell him how good looking he was. I began to lay on the butter as if I found him attractive. The truth was, he WAS good looking and I couldn't figure why he was a serial killer rapist, with a face and body he had. I began to tell him this. that he was attractive, that I wouldn't see how any woman would reject him as a boyfriend. I had to see him not as a potential murderer of myself, but I had to see him as having been born innocent of crime. He talked about his mother who had said he would never have a relationship as he was no good.
I was slowly becoming sexual therapist instead of potential rape victim. Rape is not a sexual crime, it is about gaining a sense of control by taking a victim. The man had a sense of powerlessness which raping diverted his attention from. He was running a program of mental abuse by a very angry mother who had projected sin unto the child as a scapegoat and now I suffered, as this other woman, the effects of her deed. A picture of a tyrantical mother came to mind who had programmed a young boy to be what he had become now. She was angry at men and she essentially twisted his mind so that he had resented all women at this point and thought what she said was true; no woman could love him. All women had somehow become in his mind, like mother. This woman whom I portrayed who was successful in life, was to him, the epitome of his unsuccessful life and therefore desirable to control and overtake.
I turned his mother's words around and said, yes, there is a woman out there who will love you. I began to emanate love vibrations. I did for him, what the mother had never done. I mothered him. I relaxed him with soothing words as I'd done in another retrieval so successfully. He noticeably mellowed before my eyes, a dreamy look on his grinning face to consider he might be "good man stock." I kept up my chatter knowing my life depended on saying the right thing without judging him or becoming frightened unduly. I kept a tight rein on my fear which was still subtly there, but I mustn't show it. I sometimes heard whispered cues from a guiding source in the background, but I was totally in my role for better or worse.
I said that out of all the entire population of women, there was one who would be suited to him as I found him good looking, therefore, yada yada and so forth. As I spoke of love there was no fear, as love and fear do not abide in the same place at the same time. To my surprise he accepted my offer to go someplace in the car and we left the apt. By this time he had been flattered and buttered up, and his ego readily accepted the mellowing of the animal appetites. I had to keep talking in the car however, I knew this type of person can turn instantly back into the domination theme with no warning.
The scene changed and we were riding in a taxi in the back seat. Lots of traffic made me feel safer. I treasured one more small success. I stroked the male ego with my words and he lapped it up. I even began to feel responsible for his future life well being, as all his predator exhibitions faded away and he became putty in my hands. I began to think this was too easy and relaxed further into my role. I sensed that the taxi driver was a guide that was supposed to be in this scene but had no idea where we were going and I was still alert and aware to my situation. We came to a red light and an older matron came to our window from out of nowhere and began knocking on the window. she looked like a social worker. very emotionally centered and quite capable of lending guidance to a serial rapist.
Completely in my role of caretaker to a dangerous man by now, I found her presence perplexing, but I was about to wake up and be Alysia once more instead of a potential victim. I had learned through *ACIM, that there are no victims in the world. Therefore, ACIM deserves some of the credit, if not all, for this spectacular retrieval.
The social worker/guide/helper tapped on the window and looked at me inquiringly if I would please see to it that the window was rolled down. It became incongruous to see her standing in traffic like that. The man did not even notice her there.
Aside note: when doing retrievals, there is this commonality, that the retriever should bring the attention of the retrievee over to the guides that will pop up, for that is when you will be relieved of obligation to continue retrieving and a more capable person takes the retrievee over.
The person being retrieved most often are so wrapped up in their own world, that they cannot notice nonphysical beings in the area who try to get their attention ceaselessly. A belief system that only the physical world is real, can block nonphysical beings from entering their awareness. The reason he did not notice her was twofold: 1) He was in his own world. 2) He might have been a spirit, a nonphysical person himself, but still believed he was existent in the physical world as this type of person would have no belief construct about an afterlife. It is the job of the retriever to direct their attention to nonphysical guides who can awaken them to better quarters, so to speak. Therefore my point is that those retrievers who are still physical, who travel out of body are desirable in some cases to assist those stuck in a belief system of their former life situation, precisely because of their "physical vibrations."
Tap tap tap she did the thing again and I could not stand the curiosity and I half knew she had come for him, but I had to pretend she was intruding into our intimacy. I told him she was there, look, and what in the world does she want?
the man slowly turned his head, still in a dreamy love world, still grinning foolishly and noticed her and she gestured that he should come with her and he was agreeable. Just before the retrieval ended I noticed the look of surprise on his face as he met the eyes of lady angel who was fearless and looked at him exuding a friendly business like demeanor. I thought for a moment he knew this woman from somewhere, but it may have been that it was her love that he knew as we both were retrieving him to the value of love. End of retrieval.
What I learned about myself: my energy is naturally womanly. I have a soothing voice. (I'm a singer too) I can impart love vibrations to another. I am not a victim if I surrender the need to defeat another. I can find the cause of aggression. I can talk good. . and I learned of the inception causes of this retrieval. I had been thinking prior to the retrieval, wondering what I'd do in a dangerous situation, or whether it was true what ACIM said, that I could not be a victim. ACIM had said to forget the book and go and get an experience to see if the words were true. that's what I'd been doing for the last 25 years, proving to myself everything it said was true, we cannot be victimized if we keep our spiritual heads and do not let fear have the upper hand. I also proved that fear and love cannot abide in the same place at the same time. I thank whoever the backup crew was in this scene, who were vastly excited to allow me to play this part and whispered certain cues to me sometimes. They were really into their work! I was fortunate that I thought up the right question of whether I could be a victim but more fortunate to discover I have nothing to fear, as I cannot be victimized, it can only seem like that to get a lesson right.
I was given my part to play by the words of *A Course In Miracles.