Having a Bad Day? Welcome To My World
Geeezzz...What Else Could Go Wrong?
The cat is pregnant, the kid got shot in the head, I got laid off this week and other than that, all is well with my world.
Oh yeah, and the mortgage is behind too....but hey I got new couches yesterday so when I'm out ON the street at least I'll have something to sit on.
Seriously though, all I can do at this point is try to find some humor in a week from H&&&LLL...... all of the above is true...the kid is recovering but won't talk to me now. The cat is looking for a place to have her babies and the job...well what the heck...who needs money anyway????????
Things Must Get Better
I've had it this week. I am about to strangle my daughter-in-law who just kicked the shot in the head kid out of her life......I am ready to ship the cat off to China to some cat-house.....and the job.....well maybe I won't need one anyway after I go stark raving mad, gather all of the people together that are making me mad right now and put them all in front of my own firing squad (the cat included)
I could use rubber bullets and shot them all in their toes, one toe at a time until they all beg for mercy and give into my demands.
The demands of a mother that is about to lose her mind.
You don't want to mess with a mad mother....oh no....
My Final Demands
MY DEMANDS::: (BEFORE YOU FACE THE MOTHERS WRATH)
1.Immediately cease and desist from making stupid mistakes like going to East Palo Alto to buy a car that you know was way under value (this one is for the shot in the head kid)
2. NEVER, I REPEAT NEVER CARRY THAT MUCH CASH ON YOU (also for the shot in the head kid)
3. Stop having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry in the Neighborhood (this one for the pregnant cat)
4. Please let me know employer if I'm really laid off or not (the suspense is killing me) I need to know if I need to haul those couches out to sleep on them or not.
Phew,,,,OK now that I have that off my chest I feel a tad bit better...now can someone please direct me to the rubber bullets?
(This was written about a week ago and things are looking up. The shot in the head kid is getting better, the job unlaid me off plus I got a new job as the SF Climate Change Examiner. The cat's still pregnant but hey what can you do?)