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How to Turn Worries into Creativity
Have you ever met any person who had not worried a bit in all his life?
Everybody, in one way or another and in certain degrees, had have worries in life. Even the seemingly jolly and successful person is carrying in his head certain worries that he often is not aware of.
The year 2008 was my third year of teaching back in SPCC main campus; I had left my post as the Dean in the College of Business Administration, AWOL in 1999 when I realized how sick my late husband, Adrian Shiels was. He needed 100% attention because he was on oxygen throughout the two years that he was bedridden.
When Adrian died in 2003, I suffered depression and was sulking in grief inside my bedroom without going out from the house for a year. My friends and colleagues thought that I had left the country because I warned all my family members not to tell anyone of my whereabouts, "howabouts" and "whatabouts."
Actually, I was not completely sulking, my heart and mind cannot hold for too long all these negative thoughts and feelings. During the interim I had bouts of depression, sadness, worryings, discouragements and losing my desire to live.
I was 50 and among my negative self-inflicting thoughts were the weakening will and the lose of desire to live any more. Among my worries were my being out of job and in my age nobody will hire me.
My son was married already with three small children and my daughter was still in College as a working student in SPCC. My son's salary cannot cope with all the bills and rent and all of us, seven members in the family, were jam-packed in that small two-bedroom apartment. That was the "dark era" in my life.
I could hear my daughter-in-law's whining every day and in addition to my inner turmoils, these whining really nailed me to the wall. I just lost courage to live let alone work again.
Remembering my reality
Then I remember the adage "Necessity is the mother of invention." Necessity, yes, that was the situation in my family; there was a dire need for a change and yet I cannot figure out what I could do to ease the needy condition that we all were in.
Realizing the situation, I still didn't exert any effort rather I started to remember who I am. The first thing I did was, I just got my pen and notebook, my colors, my white bond papers then started writing everything about who I really am, my skills, my profession, my education and so forth; then followed by writing down what I deserve in life and draw them in the bond paper.
I had been doing all these introspection and self-assessments in the one year that I was sulking inside my bedroom.
Then one day out of the blue, the billionaire lady, Mrs. Jojo Haynes, came to visit me. She learned about me through my daughter-in-law. I never knew her at the time and had never heard of her let alone her socioeconomic status.
She had been looking for a person who have my educational status and skills. At first I refused to accept her offer and her request for my help concerning her undergrad thesis in AB Psychology. She had already hired a PhD to do her thesis but she failed and had wasted one year to do it all over again.
The offer was a salary equivalent to my professional fee as a Dean in a College plus such benefits as housing me in an expensive three bedroom condominium in Manila for one year complete with a housemaid, a modern automatic car with its driver, free complete three meals a day, among others.
I still refused the unusually attractive offers, it was just too good to be true for me. But her persistence, six times coming back to me, finally impressed me; it was unbelievable that this rich lady was having such high regard of me and with such 100% trust on me and my capability, so that I accepted the offer eventually.
I cannot help myself asking why. Did my affirmation "I, Jenny, now have a satisfying and well-compensating job." written 20 times every day in first, second, and third person and within two months time, work?
I just knew one thing. I changed my mind from worrying to creating, even in the mental and "writing" efforts only.
What was truly amazing was, after one year working satisfactorily with Jojo by which she passed top one on her thesis, er the thesis I made for her and my coaching, I received lots of job offers and even SPCC, where I left my post five years ago without a leave of absence nor asking or telling anyone that I was leaving my post, sent me a note of its need for me to come back.
So, in the third year of this come back; Atty Donesa, the HRD at the time would be seen sitting in my office every morning when I arrived at work. I aske him why he would do that when his office was located several buildings away from my office; His answer was "I would like to know your secrets on why you are not affected with all the problems and gossips and politickings in this school."
I just smiled and said, "I turn worrying into creating."