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NYU Exposed: College Life

Updated on November 8, 2011

So Much To Do and So Little Time

Here at New York University, academics are keys. Courses are rigorous and professors demand nothing but the excellence. It can be stressful and overwhelming at times. This is a place where you will learn to build a tough skin. It's not the easiest of transitions from high school to college. On the bright side, you're in the city. Huge plus. Everything you want is most likely within a mile radius. Experience the epic-ness of New York, take it all in, and hope you make it to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Balancing the Party Rocker and Bookworm Inside of You

You live in the city that never sleeps. Like Wiz, you party all day and party all night until classes start and your professors take an explosive deuce on you. Here at NYU, students are faced with an overwhelming workload that must be properly time-managed before they start falling behind. In all honesty, you just got to be on top of your game. You must pace yourself, treat yourself to occasional breaks and maybe a muffin. Stay focused and motivated. Give yourself a goal to knock out your work before a specific time where you can then chill and relax.

Join clubs! Become active here at NYU! But don't get too carried away and overbook yourself. Even though you got into one of the nation's best schools, you're still human. It's all about time management and being efficient with your work. Don't procrastinate too much. Facebook is going to be a bitch and call itself to your attention multiple times. Facebook is a drug, just say no at least for the time being. Keep in mind your parents are paying a deuceload (3rd "deuce" reference, but hey, who's counting?) or at least your bank is fronting a hefty wad of money. Do your work and get it over with so you can have fun and party with your friends on the weekend.

NYU Dorms

I've always been a fan of the conversation of which dorm is the best. Some say that the order from best to worst is:

Hayden

Third North

Founders

Weinstein

Rubin

Brittany

However, almost everyone we ask says they love their dorm. Every dorm has its pros and cons. After looking at numerous NYU dorm articles, the overall consensus is that Hayden Hall is a very social dorm that has a bunch of parties. Nevertheless, there have been a handful of Hayden residents who have been disappointed with the social scene so far. Third North has spacey apartment-styled rooms complimented by the Sprouse twins, but it can be an ordeal going from the dorm to class due to the somewhat far trip; plus, it's only going to get worse in the winter so buckle up your genitals for that scene boys and girls. Founders is the Big Papi of dorms when it comes to size. It's quite large and it's basically brand new. Still, it's a bitch to get to classes from here. Weinstein has been compared to the prison that used be located in Guantanamo Bay (Harold and Kumar whaduppp) due to the cinderblock walls. Students are embarrassed to have their friends come over because of this. It's called getting some posters. Problem solved. Weinstein also has three solid dining halls including Quiznos and the almighty Chick-Fil-A. Rubin and Brittany are cozy, but are hot as balls (which are quite hot). This problem will go away when all of New York is freezing their ass off in the bitter cold.

In the end, it all evens out. You're in college. You don't have to brag about what dorm you're in. Everyone can't wait to get their own apartment anyway and throw parties for their friends' junior and senior year.

And the winner goes to...

What is the best dorm at NYU?

See results

Sex at NYU

Sex. Hot steamy wet sex or cold frigid dry sex. Whatever floats your boat. Sex is like pizza. Everyone loves pizza (except for those who are lactose intolerant but they can take a pill to solve that crisis). Does your roommate have mad game? If so, their bed is their holy grail that they like to share with many people. If it gets to a point when you're always kicked out of your own room, tell your roommate that they have to either limit their amount of sexy times per week or switch off whose room to go to. This isn't rude to say. You just got to tell them that it's simply not fair to you. One thing worse than being kicked out of the room is opening the door to this graphic scene standing in front of you. Have the sexmate (roommate who has sexy time a lot) put a sign on the door, whether it be that privacy door hanger, a sock (preferably one that is laundered), or even a simple text giving a heads up when their head is down. Ok sorry for that one. I had too. Anyway onto a less graphic topic. Condoms! Use one. Don't use Durex. It's not good. Trojan is the top brand and is the most reliable. Don't complain about the price of condoms. For one, your RA is probably loaded with them and will give them out for free. Even if your RA doesn't have one, buying a pack is cheaper than a baby. Keep that in mind. Use protection and blast off.

Bitches be Crazy

It's all about strategy

The girl to guy ratio here at NYU is 60:40. The university went to the extent to make that famous NYU fact a Welcome Week activity. Moreover, since a certain percentage of the men here are gay, that makes the chances even better for the straight guys right? Wrong. At least in some respect. At colleges such as Maryland, Rutgers, and Penn State, getting with girls is never a problem. Dorm and frat parties at these schools have consistently led to the guys and girls going back to one of their rooms and getting their groove on. The fact that these schools also have a campus also means that the girls can't go too far. The beauty of NYU is that the students are living in the city where there is a plethora of activities to attend: dance clubs, comedy clubs, bars, art galleries the list goes on and on. Since the "campus" is so spread out, the girls are spread out as well. All of the sudden, trying to find a cute NYU girl to hook up with becomes a challenge. The girls complain that the men here are either gay, assholes, and taken (in that order). However, the straight single men beg to differ. Most of the girls here play hard to get. You can't just meet them at a party and bring them back to the dorm (unless they are unattractive and easy). You have to meet them, text them, make plans with them, go to a party, and then bring them back to the dorm. It's not mission impossible, but it's somewhat of a hassle.

WARNING: Watch out for the "teases" and the "flakes."

Girls tend to, for a lack of better words, mess with you. Think about the movie Inception and take it up a notch. They torture your mind like you've never been tortured before. For example, you'll get their number, text them frequently and things are going smooth and well. You're receiving smiley faces and tongue-out faces so you're thinking you're chances are pretty good. Next thing you know, you get their friend request on facebook. You gladly accept. It's in the bag. Next thing you know, she has a boyfriend. C'mon bitch! There's nothing else to say to that except "Ugh, bitches and hoes."

Don't forget the flakes. This is the girl you've been texting all day and you even made plans with her that night. Yet, when the clock strikes nine, she stops responding and you're left in the dust, frantically trying to make other plans. All of the sudden, your motto, "F*** bitches, get money" is falling by the waistside.

Here's the bottom line. If you play their game, and play it right, you'll get some. If not, good luck getting those one night stands from girls who would rather hang with their gay cuddle buddy.

Relationships: High School to College

Oh boy...

I have a boyfriend. What? I have a girlfriend. I though you were gay!

Relationships. Oh boy. Where do I even begin it's work. It takes a lot of work to keep a long-distance relationship, whether it be open or exclusive. In an exclusive relationship, trusting your partner is the main worry and you're probably constantly thinking about them and what they are doing on their Saturday nights. For those in an open relationship, you may be nieve and think you're in a win/win situation. You got your girl or boy from home and you also can do your own thing at college and get with whomever you want. For some people, this works out perfectly. For some, though, it's not that easy letting go of that person from home. Even if you want to get with people at NYU, you probably don't want your significant other getting with other people at their school.

Girls: If you're in an exclusive relationship, don't tease the dudes. Don't flirt with them and give them false impressions.

Dudes: If you're in an exclusive relationship, I'm going to assume that this girl means a lot to you and that she is incredibly special. I wish you two the best of luck.

Girls (again): If you're in an open relationship, don't tell guys that you're sort of with another guy. Guys won't like that and don't want to know that your territory has previously been marked.

Dudes (yes, again): If you're in an open relationship, you would have to be stupid to tell a girl that you're planning to get with about your girlfriend back home. If anything, emphasize that it's an open relationship and that you can still do whatever you want at college.

Relationships are complicated. There are no easy solutions and the best way to fix a problem is to simply talk about it with your girlfriend or boyfriend. They will understand.

THE NYU RAP

explicit version

Uh this is NYU

And uh I'm an NY Jew

The city never sleeps

Crowds of people on the streets

All the lights in the night

All the buildings out of sight

Our campus is simply Washington Square

We pay 60 grand, so I guess that's fair

Screw the frat parties, we sip our own Bacardi

If we had a football team, we'd win the trophy, Lombardi

All the people here they got something to say

Whether their straight, transgender, bisexual, or gay

All the hipsters here just blend with the crowd

Smoking, drinking, all that shit is allowed

A common activity is going to central park

Make sure you're not alone or you'll get mugged in the dark

Walking down the street, I'm sure you'll see a celeb

Respect them or screw it, mupload that pic to the web

The West Coast thinks they have something on the city

Pardon my opinion, but I think we're sittin pretty

No offense to them, but the west is sorta shitty

The chicks here are hot, as I'm mackin on my biddy

You gotta admit that what I say is sorta witty

You can call me white, but I'm motherfuckin' Diddy

We got James Franco here teaching a class

So all you other colleges can bow and kiss our ass

The professors here are the best in the field

You think you can top us? Woah hold up yield

The world is at our fingertips right here in New York

Sex, drugs, violence, it all comes from the stork

Congrats on your tickets to the college sports games

We got tickets to the Garden, it's gonna be insane

Here a hobo, there a hobo, wanna take yo money

A girl I know was told by one "Yo girl, blow me honey"

You can get weed on every corner of the street

Get high, go to classes, take some notes in yo seat

Weinstein, Third North, Hayden dorm hall

Party at a club, dance yo ass off, have a ball

With the girls in the city you must be on your game

So son, lock it up if you wanna make it rain

A cappella groups and comedy clubs

If you get in, you gotta put up the dub

The competition here, not gonna lie, is so intense

All the singers here wipe their ass with Pete Wentz

Welcome to NYU, with the NY Crew

We say how do you do

Don't like us, screw you

A Girl's Point of View - Keepin' it Real

A Hipster's Point of View - Keepin' it Real

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