BS and Balderdash
Welcome to the Land of Bull & Bunkum (also known as Balderdash & Piffle)
Today our world is awash in all manner of dazzling detritus masquerading as breathtaking balderdash and bedazzling bafflegab.
This lens is meant to assist those who wish to navigate the increasingly globalized glut of empty words signifying nothing.
Frankly, this light-hearted lens fills a nice niche for those who are interested in finding a substitute for BS, balderdash or piffle!
Thank goodness that the English language is chock full of wonderfully wicked or weighty words that mean squat in the great scheme of things.
WHEN YOU'RE STUCK FOR WORDS ...
And BS or Bunk won't do, you need to increase your vocabulary.
You know you've entered a "BS Free Zone" when you see this sign.
Fret not, there are plenty of other fine words to use in the English language which deserve to see the light of day.
There are at least 50 other words to say "BS and Balderdash". So, have some fun and pick one that feels right for the occasion:
A: absurdity, argot
B: babble, badinage, bafflegab, bagatelle, baloney, banter, blah blah blah, bologna, bananas, bilge, bilgewater, blague, blarney, blather, bombast, bosh, bull, bullshit, bumpf, buncome, bunk, bunkum, bureaucratese
C: cant, chatter, claptrap, codswallop, crackpot, crap, crapola, craziness, crock, crud
D: detritus, double-talk, drivel, drool, droppings, dross
F: fatuity, flimflam, flummery, folderol, folly, foolishness, foolish talk, froth, frothy discourse, fudge
G: gabble, gammon, garbage, garble, gasconade, gibble-gabble, gibberish, gobbledygook, guff
H: hocus-pocus, hodgepodge, hogwash, hooey, hokum, hornswoggle, hot air, horseshit, humbug
I: imbecile, inanity, inwit
J: jabber, jabberwocky, jargon, jobberknowl
L: leavings, loppings
M: malarkey, mawkishness, mish-mash, moonshine, mumbo-jumbo
P: palaver, patter, persiflage, piffle, pomposity, poppycock, prate, prating, prattle, pretense
R: raillery, rant, ridiculousness, riffraff, rigmarole, rodomontade, rot, rubbish, rubble
S: senseless gabble, scoria, scribble, shit, shite, silly, slag, slash, slaver, slobber, small talk, stupid, snake oil, soft soap, stultiloquence, sweepings, swill
T: tarradiddle, tomfoolery, tommyrot, tosh, trash, trifle, tripe, trumpery, twaddle, twattle
V: vacuous verbiage
W: weasel-words and wish-wash.
THE IMPORTANCE OF "B" WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Considering the fact that bafflegab, bilgewater and other forms of bs have so little value placed upon them, it's a wonder that they take up so much space on the Internet.
A glimpse on "Google" reveals the importance of words beginning with "B" in the English language:
BS -- 144 million pages
Bull -- 99 million pages
Bullshit -- 19.5 million pages
Blague -- 6.7 million pages
Babble -- 5.5 million pages
Bosh -- 5.4 million pages
Bilge -- 4.6 million pages
Blather -- 2.8 million pages
Baloney -- 1.8 million pages
Bombast -- 1.1 million pages
Balderdash -- 859,000 pages
Bunkum -- 292,000 pages
Bilgewater -- 58,400 pages
Bafflegab -- 52,300 pages
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living,
It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Which is what I do,
And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
-- Dr. Seuss --
WHAT BRAND OF BLATHER DO YOU LIKE?
- Balderdash & Piffle
The BBC's brand of balderdash & piffle.
- Codswallop Fish & Chips
For those who can't stand spam or baloney.
- The Origin of Codswallop
Of interest to word wonks.
How to say malarkey in 10 different languages!
All the poop on crapola you'll ever need!
For those who like running around in tiny circles!
This word made Ebeneezer Scrooge famous!
Everything in the known universe tagged "bosh".
- Bumpf at its Best!
Winners of the "Bad Writing Contest".
- In Praise of "Balderdash"
Lest you think that I alone have an interest in the great big glossary of guff!
- Made for Pompous Prattlers
For those who can't wait to add rich rigamarole to their stultifyingly succinct emails.
"Never Stand Behind a Loaded Horse" by Gordon Kirkland.
- Wishy-Washy my foot!
This babe doesn't take any bull!
- Great Big Giggle Guide
When you can't suck it up any longer, try this.
- Hogwash Heaven
An ode to the Golden Pig Year - 2007.
- Hot-Air Headquarters
Where The Quipping Queen makes fun of everything.
- Big Book of Bunkum
Where vacuous verbosity is the order of the day.
- Breathtaking Babble!
Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat...now what could be more entertaining than that!
- Hornswoggle & Humcrush
Music for merry-minded munchkins.
- Best Source for Slang
Hang with slang!
- Wanna Jug of Jargon?
Protest codswallop with your own crockpot!
- Buzzword Boardroom
Blinking buzzwords for busy worker bees!
- Leadership or Lollygagging?
All about corporate claptrap & coupon-clipping.
- Freelance Fun
A snappy, snarky, spoofy goddess of giggles -- Angie Brennan!
- Top 10 Hoaxes for 2006
Don't ya love all that hocus-pocus!
- Bafflegab At Its Best!
If you can grasp this gobbledygook you'll win first prize in our monthly Glossary of Guff contest!
- Web Economy BS Generator
A dazzling doublespeak device to divert attention from any economic entity going down the tubes.
- Doublespeak Award
Recipients of The National Council of Teachers of English "Doublespeak Award".
- Literary Litterbugs?
Doublespeak another form of detritus?
- Slang Site
Where weird webspeakers hang out.
- 17 Ways to Kill a Sentence
All about the variations on vapid or verbose vocabulary.
- Getting a Grip on Gobbledygook
Professors of piffle and puffery will love this.
- Legal Mumbo Jumbo Dictionary
Well, if you really must know, it's called "The Stinky Lawyers Mumbo Jumbo Online Dictionary".
- Funny Fashion Faux Pas
This lens will titillate those keen on exploring the world of tacky togs for a whale of a tail.
- Office Speak You Love To Hate
Here are 50 office-speak phrases that will have you fit to be tied in no time!
- Bafflegab and Gobbledygook About the End of A Good Thing
This light-hearted piece of literature examines the amusing acronym -- VSA. You'll have to read it to appreciate just what a ridiculous, ripsnorting addition we have to the English language when we can't say so-and-so has bit the biscuit.
- BRILLIANT BALDERDASH & BUZZWORDS FOR 2009
If I hear "Octomom", "Sexting", or "Warmism" again...I'm going to dump my drivel all over you!
TONGUE-IN-CHEEK OR JUST POPPYCOCK?
Poppycock is such a delightful yet seldom used word in everyday conversation.
Actually senseless soliliquizing (or talking to oneself in a mumble-jumble manner), might be more entertaining and a great boon to stress reduction than having to listen to breathtakingly boring business folk impress us with their latest bafflegab and buzzwords.
And should you every want to fling a fun-word around like "poppycock" in a foreign land, try these on for size:
Denmark (Danish) - Sludder og vrol
Netherlands (Dutch) - Onzin
France (French) -- Sornettes, Balivernes
Germany (German - slang) - Mumpitz
Italy (Italian) - Stupidaggini, Cazzate
Portugal (Portugese) - Papo furado
Spain (Spanish) - Tonterias
Sweden (Swedish) - Struntprat
The World Needs More Unusual People - Who Know Strange, Unusual and Completely Nonsensical Things
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling
From the Land of Bull and Bunkum
Musings on Manure
The word "shit" is a very old word indeed. In days gone by, shite and schiten were more commonly used to express the regular routine of relieving oneself in nature, the throne room, or the tinkle pantry.
Shit truly is a remarkably colorful if not versatile word that rolls off the tongue easily.
While the priggish pendantics behind Webster's Dictionary have suggested that it is a vulgar expression not to be used in polite company, it seems to have found its way into the everyday vernacular since it occupies an important place as the least misunderstood word in the English language.
Thanks to Kathleeen Mayer's handy pocket edition of , we now have a great big glossary of shit-inspired expression, (a sample of which appears below). How To Shit In The Woods - An Environmentally Sound Approach To A Lost Art
big shit - someone with an overinflated sense of self-importance
bullshit 1. lies; nonsense. 2. trash; useless junk. 3. name of a group word game. 4. an interjectin of fierce disagreement.
chickshit 1. a coward. 2. petty behavior. adj. cowardly
crock of shit - something false or deceptive
deep shit - big trouble; also stated "knee deep in shit"
dipshit - idiot; nerd.
doesn't know shit from Shinola - can't tell the difference between excrement and brown shoe polish.
dumbshit - a pathetic incompetent
get your shit together 1. undergo great personal growth; to become organized or focused. 2. admonition to hurry up.
Holy Shit! - exclamation of surprise, discovery, relaization, or fear
horseshit - 1. lies, double-talk. 2. interjection of vehement disagreement.
hot shit - a class act; a popular item; freuqently used sarcastically.
know your shit - to be an expert in your field.
little shit 1. a person of small sature. 2. petty annoyance. 3. term of enderament for someone who is looked upon admiringly as a sweet rascal.
No shit! 1. exclamation ranging from high excitment to surprise; often similar to Really?; used sarcastically in response to something already known. 2. exclamation of agreement.
shit bricks 1. to worry. 2. to be terrified
shit-fit - tizzy
up shit creek - in a bad situation
And for those who think detritus is "de trop debris" or simply "dead as a doornail", think again. Here's a lovely little gem called "Peter's Useful Crap"!
AND NOW A WORD FROM "OUR LADY OF LIPPY"
Divas and Dowagers share a lot in common.
They both know that they can dish out the dirt any way they please. And, that if a man misbehaves, he knows where he'll be spending the night...in the damn dog house!
These dazzling dames also know that if you mate a Bulldog with a Shitzu, you certainly don't get a powerful piddler!
Okay, smarty-pants, let's see if you know the answer to this one!
What is a lully trigger?
HONORING THE HOOEY!
"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought."
-- John Kenneth Galbraith --
BULL & BUNKUM WISH YOU A HAPPY-CHALLENGED HOLIDAY! (Image Credit: firstname.lastname@example.org)
BALDERDASH FOR BOOKWORMS
What's not to like about wit and wonk to be found in the English language?
A terrific tome for the tinkle pantry or throne room!
For those who need something more engaging than running in the rat race.
The mirth-challenged and mind-boggled folks will get a hoot out of this gregarious if not giggle-oriented game.