Evil Minion Names
The Aspiring Overlord's guidebook to choosing unique evil minion names!
Have you ever had to choose a name for one of your evil minions?
Feeling a little uncreative when it comes to creating evil minion names?
If that is the case, and we know it might be, then welcome to what is possibly the greatest resource on Minion Names! Are we allowed to boast like that? Sure, we are! After all, we are The Minion Factory - and, minions are what we know best! So, gather around aspiring young evil overlords, and allow the Minion Factory to entertain you. Today, we will be teaching you how to choose the best name for your little minions from our ULTIMATE LIST! We will also teach you how to cook up your own names with an easy to follow recipe! Have fun!
Selfish Promotion: Did you know that The Minion Factory wrote an article explaining to young overlords how to take care of their minions?
About minion names
A few things to know before we start naming them!
Because we are so incredibly evil, creative and simply awesome, we are going to skip all the silly techno-mumbo-jumbo, flowery introductions and cookies, diving straight into the nitty-gritty! You see, young overlord, there are a few vital things to consider before naming your minion. Essentially it is a small dummies' list of things to know. Things like:
1. Are minion names restricted by gender, and or age?
2. Should the minion's name reflect its personality?
3. Can we change a minion's name?
4. What are the most common minion names?
5. How do I choose a unique clever evil name for my minion?
But, fear not young one. The Minion factory has everything under control! If you give us some more cookies, and maybe vodka, we will teach you everything that there is to know about naming your minions.
Gender-Benders - Minion names for everybody!
You asked us and we answered! Are minion names restricted by gender, and or age?
No! Did you know that the majority of minions are asexual? This means that minion names aren't restricted by gender! Isn't that great news?
But, what about age? When is a minion simply too old to receive a name? This too is another easy question to answer. As long as your minion plays a vital role in your scheme to take over the world - it needs a name! [According to The Minion Handbook, Chapter VI, para. 4.b] After all, where is the fun in shouting "Number 11, pull that lever!" or "Number 2, bring me my laser of perpetual suffering!" when you could be screaming "Slasher! Feed me more of the wedding cat!" So, if the minion in question is going to play a vital role in your evil schemes, then we advise that you give it a name, no matter its age.
Understood? Good. Moving on...
Minion Personality Traits
The name should reflect the personality type!
You asked us whether the name we are going to give a minion should reflect its personality or not. The answer, young unenlightened overlord, is a very simple "Yes". Did you know that most of the time the name is inspired by the personality traits (or disfigurements!) of your minion. Does it have a few missing teeth? Name it Gap! An annoying limp making the minion stands out from the rest? Well, Limp seems to be a great name, doesn't it? Does your little particular minion stammer when it stands in your almighty wicked presence? Name the minion Shakes! "Pull that lever Shakes!"
Changing a minion's name - Why? Because we can!
It is rumored that there comes a time in every overlord's life when he or she changes priorities. Suddenly, taking over the world isn't that glamorous anymore. Stealing Christmas presents have become a dull and tedious chore. Chasing after the hero has lost its previous luster.
Why should you be the only one to change, during this confusing time? Go ahead and change the names of your minions! See that big burly minion holding the cudgel? Change his name from Bash to something flowery like Whack-a-Doo, or perhaps Smack-a-Doo?
Consider yourself to be an arty lyrical overlord? Start rhyming their names and add variety (and rhythm) in your evil career! "Whack-a-Doo, Smack-a-Doo and Slap-a-Doo, bring my tea and morning newspaper, before I turn a blue hue!"
Disclaimer: The Minion Factory cannot guarantee the effectiveness of your evil reputation once you start making up sing-song rhymes. In fact, if you are seriously thinking about doing that, we would recommend you read "Get motivated and take back your life!" urgently!
What are the most common minion names?
Because I am lazy and don't want to create my own!
[PLEASE NOTE: The minions moved this section to the bottom of the page in an attempt to annoy us. We apologize for the inconvenience. Or not... I'm getting a little too old for this *sighs*]
I want to choose a unique and clever name for my minion!
In seven easy steps!
We created this "easy-to-read" section with your serious plight in mind. Aren't we nice? Yes. I know. We are. Very! Now, please allow this rambling and dotting old overlord to share with you the secret of choosing unique and creative evil names for your minions. Besides, only wise old overlords are allowed to ramble, or haven't you read The Tao of the Evil Overlord? Getting back on topic...
Make a strong cup of coffee, tea, vodka, milk or Kool-Aid. Important to note that it must be strong and must be YOUR favorite beverage. Otherwise, make something for us. Vodka mixed with coffee! We won't mind. Now, drink the beverage.
Make another cup of your favorite beverage. Drink slower this time. Remember. Manners! Presentation is everything.
Look at the minion in question. Jot down what you want for dinner, err, a couple of personality traits and other significant disfigurements unique to this specific minion.
Make sure that you have read "Introducing The Minion Factory!" What? We are a bunch of sneaky evil overlords, so selfish self-promotion comes with the package.
Decide what type of personality the little evil minion has. Is it an artsy and dreamy minion? Is it a burly bashing minion? Or perhaps it is the well-intending but clumsy minion type? Write down this as it is extremely important!
Read our list that follows and choose a unique name for your evil minion!
The greatest list of unique evil minion names! - It is our list containing A - Z minion names!
Remember step six from earlier? Sure you do, because you wrote down what type of personality your evil minion has. Now, look for the name that would most likely suit your minion. Don't worry about how it works. The right name will simply "jump-out" of this incredibly awesome list! If it doesn't, we won't apologize! Ever!
Accepted Artsy Minion Names:
This type of minion is famous for its artistic endeavors. Suitable for minions tasked with decorating your evil lair, or helping the kidnapped princess decide on a dress to wear to dinner. We cataloged the following four artistic minion names as examples:
Artsy-Antsy. Acrylic-Joe. Paintbrush-Pong. Spray-Paint.
Bashing Bully Minion Names:
The bashing bully minion is well-known for its burly body-build and brutish manners. These minions are perfect for, well, bashing things. Like that computer or fridge that just doesn't want to work the way you want them to. Examples of their names are:
Bash. Whack. Smack. Hack.
Crazy Chasing Minion Names:
Crazy Chasing Minions are the type most suited to - chasing. Yep. That simple, isn't it? Make them chase the hero around in your labyrinth, or chase after that world-dooming-computer-chip you need for your latest science project! A few names suitable for them are:
Cheese. Run. Jog. Sprint.
Devastatingly Dumb Minion Names:
A mainstay in overlord culture. What are we overlords without a few of these minions? Dumb. Unintelligent. Dim. **sighs and trails off, mumbling**
Brick. Brok. Thick. Grog.
Energetic Evil Minion Names:
This type of minion, although energetic and eager to please, is easy to recognize due to the fact that disaster follows them around almost like a bad smell follows a piece of cheese around. A few examples of names for them are:
Sparky. Grin. Sloppy-Joe. Sputnik (yep, the satellite was named after a minion!)
Faithfully Failing Minion Names:
Worse than the Devastatingly Dumb Minions are Faithfully Failing Minions. You can, in fact, COUNT on them to fail at whatever task you give them. So, plan accordingly! Faithfully Failing Minions wear names like:
Flat-Fork-Freddy. Frothy-Joe. Flap. Flop.
Geeky Gullible Minion Names:
Almost as rare as chicken teeth! These minions are a must have for anybody who wants to dominate any type of MMORPG! They are often called geeky names like:
Slideshow_3lf. L!nux_waif_22. DOS_2.3. Dot.
Happy Hippy Minion Names:
Want to stage that green-love-movement but don't have any companions to assist you? Well, stack up on these minions as they are true tree-huggers! They are easily recognized by their nature-inspired names, such as:
Dances-Very-Badly. Runs-With-Coffee. Prancing-Sky. Pounces-on-Tigers
Itchy Irritated Minion Names:
Deep in your dungeon there is a minion standing guard. The forgotten captive he is guarding over has long since perished, but faithfully he will stand there, in the dark dim dungeon - guarding, with an itch. Why? Because you have fleas in your dungeon dolt!
Scratchy-Sean. Scurvy-Sam. One-Eyed-Jack. George.
Joking Joker Minion Names:
Every overlord should have one of these funny and inspiring minions! Why? Because laughter is the best medicine! That's why we overlords laugh so much. Joker Minions have names like:
Slap-Silly. Spork. Asinine.
Kindly Kindred Minion Names:
These minions make great healers. Their kind nature is finely tuned to nurturing their wounded brethren. We recommend having at least a dozen of them in your evil lair.
Florence-Heal-A-Minion. First Aid. Kool-Aid.
Lazy Lousy Minion Names:
Some days are just like that, and there is nothing we can do about them. Our example:
Dull. Darn. Fin. Soup.
Marvelous Minion Names:
And some days are way better! For example:
Magnificent Chomper. Maleficent Zorg. Black Beard!
New Numbered Minion Names:
When your minion army grows vast and numberless it really is easier to simply number them. A few examples would be:
Two hundred and fifty one. One thousand nine hundred and eighty seven. On second thought, don't write out the numbers, just go with: 99. 1545. 57.
Opportunistic Ogling Minion Names:
Looking for a spy? Or maybe you are looking for an evil voyeur? Then these minions are what you are looking for! (Lame pun so intended! **geeky air-punch** Score!) They have names like:
Prickly Eyes. Ocularus-Far-Us. Telescopticus.
Proudly Powerful Minion Names:
The Great Book of Minion Myths from long ago tells tall tales of minions proud and powerful. Whether it is true or not, we don't know, but we did find a few classic and epic names, such as:
Minion the Hood. Minioncus. Minion the Bold. The Beard.
Quaintly Quarrelsome Minion Names:
You know them well. Like a rabid pack of flies they attack each other, or their victims. There is a certain magical symphony in watching them - destroy.
Hurtle. Smash. Destro the Destroyer. Olaf the Brash.
Ragging Ragged Minion Names:
Similar in personality and shape as the Quaintly Quarrelsome Minions, they too love destroying things! The most notable difference might be the foam around their mouths. They wear names like:
Ugh! Splat! Bonk! Womf!
Sultry Sexy Minion Names:
There are times when an overlord can't rely on his or her charms to wile the hero. For this, we created Sultry Sexy Minions! They have names like.
Shiny-Red-Lips. Hunky-Hank. Long-Legs. Luscious-Lashes.
Timely Tidy Minion Names:
Tasked with the upkeep of your lair, Timely Tidy Minions are the best workers an overlord can find! They are, well, timely, and keep to their tasks with a great determination and focus. They are almost scary with that tenacious attitude!
Tidy-Timothy. Alfred. Wonihoff-Aufenstan.
Universally Ugly Minion Names:
You say that there is no such thing as a Universally Ugly Minion? What do you know young overlord? I'll have you know that in our time... [**incredibly long ramble removed due to lack of space**]
Org the Beast. Garnish the Radish.
Very Vital Minion Names:
These are the minions around which your evil plan's success hinges. They are, vitally important to completing that evil scheme! Often they will have names like:
Number One. Robin. Stan. Minion.
Widely Well-known Minion Names:
Yep. Aren't we nice? We even included the following well-known minion names:
Marv. Gareth. Tom. Claire.
Xilliac Xorincious Minion Names:
This previously unknown species of minions was just recently discovered by several scientists from The Minion factory. They hail from a planet, in a galaxy far-far away, and are made entirely of chocolate!
Xong. Xilliian. Xor.
Yielding Yellow Minion Names:
Best kept around your fortress, busy, cleaning! Why? These minions are known to faint at the sight of a hero, a confrontation or even coffee. Handle them with care and put them in positions where they won't need a lot of bravery.
Pale. Flower. Pea.
Zealously Zany Minion Names:
What to do with these strange zany minions, you ask? Well, we don't really know. It is best to give them a keg of gunpowder and point them in the direction of the heroes, but then, maybe it isn't such a brilliant idea, never mind.
Zingy. Spring. Laf.
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The Minion Factory
Please note: The following recipe, if used properly, will result in the creation of the best, the greatest and the most creative evil minion names - EVER!
*[Batteries are not included with this list. Thinking not included. Creativity sold separately. Terms and conditions apply only on days when a full moon is out. Cookies are important.]
- Crisp Color
- Utensil/ Tool/ Object
- First off we start our recipe with choosing a crisp fresh color.
- Today, I will be using BLUE. Place the color into your cooking pot. Looks good, doesn't it?
- Now you must add an object, tool or utensil. I am in the kitchen so I'll be using a SPATULA. See how shiny it is? Shiny!
- Add it into the pot with the color and stir well. Leave to simmer for five minutes.
- Hmm, smells wonderful! We are almost done young minion chefs!
- Now we must add a body part. Any old body part will do just fine, but you have to remember that sometimes less is more.
- I'll be using a generous sprinkling of EYES. Remember to stir well! Leave the concoction to simmer for another five minutes.
- All done!
- This minion name is best served with creativity, laughter and whimsical wishes!
- Want to see the result of what we just cooked up? Here it is!
- Blue Spatula Eyes. --- Our creative and unique evil minion name!
Didn't like any of the suggested evil names?
Sure, you liked them, but just for fun...
Why don't you try out our Online Evil Name Generator?
Thank you for reading this article!
We hoped that you learned something about minion personalities as well as choosing minion names.
Like true evil overlords, we love hearing from our victims! So share your thoughts, minion names and ideas here!