Here Be Trolls
Welcome to a Treasury of Trolls
Since the advent of computers, naughty worms not to mention pesky people with no appreciation of these titillating toys and good luck charms, the time-honored troll has been a little ticked!
Let's here it for the Troll Call!
Image Credit: Ron Leishman illustration - clipartof.com/438154
TERRIFIC TROLL OF THE MONTH - Norton "Noseyparker"
Image Credit: Matteo Cerato, illustrator at flickr.com
ORIGIN OF TROLLS
Word has it that trolls originated in the northern hemisphere and were commonly found in Germany and Scandinavia but also in Finland, Russia and Siberia.
Inhabiting caves or hills, these dwarfs, imps and giants were superb at guarding bridges or byways (although the help given humans was at times a tad arbitrary, not unlike humans).
Some might have called them shaggy, rough-haired, ugly creatures more often than not because of the trees and moss-like growth on their heads and noses. Their long noses also came in handy for cooking broth or stirring porridge. While some trolls had two or three heads, others had only one eye in the middle of their foreheads. Not to be confused with humans, many of these elusive critters had features included four fingers, four toes and a tail resembling that of a cow.
While these cranky critters could survive for several hundred years, their lifetime could be cut short since sunlight would turn them into stone. (Unlike today's movie stars, pop stars and celebrities, they have avoided being in the spotlight whenever possible, except a deadbeat dude named "troll rocker" spotted in Lyon, France).
These ancient creatures are a rich part of the Norse folkloric tradition and appear everywhere from Medieval maps to modern children's tales. They come in handy when warning wee ones to brush their teeth to keep away the terrible tooth trolls. Relatively benign, mischievous, or simply chaotic, they may take on human features or sometimes they appear more like trees or rocks. You know you are talking with a troll when you see his tail, which he may try to hide from you!
Modern usages of the word "troll" a slang expression meaning a person who lives or sleeps in a park or under a viaduct or bridge such as a bag lady or vagrant. Since the advent of the computer, "the usenet troll" refers to an electronic communication which is intentionally incorrect, but not overtly controversial, or the act of sending such a message. And, there is one report of an "office troll" who is known to munch on computer display screens if not fed a heck of a good brand of hops!
According to J.K. Rowlings, author of the hugely popular Harry Potter books, the troll is a foul smelling, small-brained, extremely ugly but very tall creature with a really bad temper who lives in the mountains away from the Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
While Scott Adams, the cartoonist behind the Dilbert comic strip, suggests that one of his characters, "Larry", is none other than an Accounting Troll who takes great joy in spitting all over Dilbert and his paperwork.
Image Credit: Vintage troll illustration by Mabel Lucie Atwell courtesy of finsbry@flickrcom
TIME OUT FOR THE TIPPLING TROLLS
If you're tip-toeing through the tulips, do not tread upon the Tippling Trolls!
TIMELESS TOYS - A TREAT CALLED "TROLLS"
The Troll Doll was originally known as the "Dam Doll" or "Dammit Doll" in honor of its creator, a Danish woodcutter by the name of Thomas Dam.
In 1959, Mr. Dam who was unable to afford a birthday present for his young daughter instead carved a doll for her. This wasn't just any kind of doll mind you, it was inspired by the legendary trolls whom it is believed inhabit the Nordic forests and bring luck to any humans who could catch them.
As many young girls do, his daughter decided to dress up her doll and show it off to the local villagers. Apparently the doll attracted the eye of a Danish toy store owner and the rest as they say is history.
Who would have thought that part of the dolls charm and world-wide appeal would be its ugly features? It had big ears, a flat forehead, large glass eyes and a potbelly, not to mention long colorful strands of sheep's wool for hair.
The people of Denmark believed that the "Dam Dolls", (also known as "Norfins", "Wishniks" and "Treasure Trolls"), were so ugly that you had to laugh at them and if you were laughing, nothing bad could happen to you. Soon the dolls became a source of good luck to people around the world.
While "trolls" may strike fear into the hearts of wimps and wussies, they've managed to make a lot of people rich and/or very happy. Let's see there are many hundreds of thousands of "dammit doll" collectors, not to mention movie directors who've used them as props, a ventriloquist who uses one as "trilling troll", and a comedian who has featured them in his musical "troll advertisements".
Note: As the story goes, Mr. Dam sold replicas of the troll doll all over the world, (with more than a million sold in the United States alone in 1964). The troll dolls became one of the biggest toy fads in U.S. history, (probably due to an error in the copyright notice of Thomas Dam's original product). It was not until 2003 however that a law passed by the American Congress permitted the Dam family of Denmark to restore their original copyright and become the only official manufacturer of the "Troll Doll" once again.
Are You A Troll Type?
Purple hair is for puckish personalities!
Every troll has a "Bad Hair Day" once in a while.
Go ahead, make my day!
What do you mean you don't like my hat?
Honest, we won't bite, promise.
BEWARE OF TREE TROLLS THEY'LL EAT YOUR ALIVE!
Image Credit: TiH20@flickr.com
SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT TROLLS...
What is the favorite food of trolls?
Are there bad-tempered beer-drinking trolls?
Yup, at the Grumpy Troll Brew Pub silly!
Image Credit: www.wisconsinbrewerytour.com
THE CARE AND FEEDING OF TROLLS
What Makes Trolls Happy?
Trolls, particularly those living outside the continental United States, may not win any beauty contests or spelling bees, but they're really great at piling and stacking things such as leaves, stones, acorns, and branches. This is great if you have a great big garden or a putting green in your back yard, (but keep them away from lawnmowers, tractors and weed-whackers as they can make a royal mess of the neatly manicured grass in parks if they feel like having some fun at public expense).
Since they are easily confused and have poor memories, often requiring constant reminders, golf, croquet, and lawn bowling are out of the question as choices for recreational activity. On the other hand, trolls love to search for toadstool rings, so just make sure you let those mushrooms grow after a rainstorm, and they'll be ever so grateful to you.
They are known to live in large families, so make sure that they have adequate shelter to keep them contented (they don't like fake trees, silk plants or styrofoam caves so try something else).
What Do Trolls Eat?
Never let trolls near the kitchen, particularly if you're making pumpkin cookies. They often forget half the ingredients so the cookies may have an odd taste and may not even resemble pumpkin cookies by the time they are baked.
All American Trolls have a raisin pocket. Scientists haven't figured out know why they like raisins, it's just one of those things, like wicked witches, lemon jellybeans, or stars and stripes bubblegum.
Scientists have however discovered why American Trolls like pumpkins and marshmallows. Trolls do all of their planting at night, since exposure to sunlight shrivels up their lips requiring expensive boxtox treatments and plastic surgery to remove unsighly wrinkles around the eyes, fingers and toes.
Trolls love pumpkins because they remind them of the sun that they can never see and marshmallows, the clouds that they can never float upon.
The good news is that they like water, but be careful they may drink you out of house and home. (Note: Trolls can only retain their water for two hours max, so make sure you have a loo or a powder room nearby...trust me, you don't want to have to clean up after a troll)!
An introduction to fantastic fiends
For those who need a wonderful introduction to the world of crazy creepy critters.
Your very own notebook with all sorts of information about fantastical fiends, and a place to add your sightings of trolls, ogres, and dragons.
Enchanting and entertaining, this guide to the other world of wit and wonk will surely please its owner.
TRILLS FROM TILLIE THE TROLL
TERRIFIC TROLL QUOTATIONS
In case anyone thinks that trolls are not exactly uppermost on the minds of modern munchkins, you might be surprised.
"That's insane troll logic." (Xander to Olaf the Troll in the movie, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer")
"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them." (Chapter 10, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling.
"Anyone can speak Troll, all you have to do is point and grunt." (Fred Wesley in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling.
"Please don't feed the troll." (Anonymous)
"The ego is that ugly little troll that lives underneath the bridge between your mind and your heart." (Gael Greene)
Image Credit: Robert Lz@flickr.com
WHO KNEW THIS BIG BEAST COULD BOOST BLINKING CAR SALES?
TROLL TRIVIA POLL
If you were a troll, what would your name be?
THIS IS MY HAPPY FACE! (Credit: ExtraLife on flickr.com)
A TREASURY OF TROLL TRIVIA
- HOW TO MAKE A TROLL PENCIL-TOPPER
For those dashing do-it-yourself types who need a pleasingly puckish pencil-topper!
- DUST OFF THOSE DAM DOLLS!
Yes, the original troll dolls (circa 1960) were called "Dam Dolls" (and they're practically all gone...dammit!)
- HISTORY OF TREASURE TROLLS
The know-it-all types probably haven't got a clue that troll dolls were also called "Leprocauns", "Norfins", and "Wishniks".
- THE IMPORTANCE OF TROLLS
Here is a delightful bit of detritus showing the importance of crazy critters.
Who says trolls don't like trinkets?
- TROLL-INFESTED TOWN
Maybe it's time to visit a troll-infested town in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin?
A TREASURY OF TROLL TOMES
For those who want to make their very own troll thank you!
Who wouldn't like a book full of trolls not to mention a princess who burps toads thrown in for good measure?
Old Norse scholars will love this compendium about cockamammie critters that go bump in the night.
For those who thought that Trolls didn't immigrate to America.
Frankly, if the blessed beasts are living under a bridge...there must be a reason...read this book and find out why.
The Troll Poll
Image Credit: Trolls On Vacation book cover illustration - buy.com/205582786
So, exactly where do trolls go on vacation?
Hermione Hag Sends You Grumpy Greetings from Deep Within the Forest of Flakes & Fruitcakes - May You Enjoy A Horrid Halloween!
Image Credit: Halloween Troll - dynamicdesignintl.com/troll.jpg
Ghoulish Greetings from The Trick-or-Treat Troll, The Tummy Trouble Troll, and the Toothless Tokens of Affection Trolls
Image Credit: www.baggledorf.com
What'cha mean there's no Christmas Troll?
Image Credit: Troll Fairy Stank at www.redbubble.com
A Treasury of Trolls for the Sparkly Season!
The Christmas Troll is one way of letting believers know that sometimes not everything fits nicely and neatly into a box and how to deal with the unexpectedness of life.
Start a new family tradition -- give Santa a break by telling a troll story or two.
How about a Harlequin Troll Marionette -- You'll love pulling his strings!
A helpful guide to the world of giants, trolls, and ogres.