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The Homeschooler's Funny-Bone

Updated on June 13, 2011

Laughter is Always the Best Cure for What Ails You!

We could all use a little more laughter in our lives; this is especially true for those of us who homeschool. I've collected everything funny I could find and put it here for you to enjoy.

So take a break, get a cup of coffee, and make sure you're not going to knock anything over when you crack up laughing.

Homeschoolers' Humor

Seldom Asked Questions About Homeschoolers

This is comical, take a look.

Homeschool Videos

These are a number of videos made by homeschoolers, for homeschoolers--and other peoples, too, I'm sure! Have a peek!

"Okay Kids, Time For Bedlam"

This is a FREE online book of homeschool humor. And also links to the author's blog.

Out of the Frying Pan

This is a humorous FAQ List provided by Jon's Homeschool Resources.

Tim Hawkins

Comedian and fellow homeschooler--good stuff!

You Might Be a Homeschooler If:

Someone asks what grade you're in and you're not sure.

You sleep till 9am on school days.

Your birthday is an official school holiday.

Your favorite activity is reading.

You dress up as historical or literary characters for Halloween.

Your room looks like a science lab.

You check out at least ten books every time you visit the library.

You get books and science kits for your birthday.

Joke Sites and Other Misc. Humor-Related Sites

Aha Jokes

Thousands of clean jokes, cartoons, clips, and more. Subscribe for a free daily joke delivered to your email to get your daily dose of laughter.

Comedy Zone

Thousands of jokes, pictures, and more!

Clean Joke

Home of the cleanest jokes on the web!

The Joke Yard

This site has jokes of ALL sorts, a very good resource.

Parenting Humor

Lots of jokes and anecdotes and stories, all related to the many joys (and trials) of parenting.

The Daily Cognition

This is really neat: a daily blog-style listing of unusual and funny events, updated every day. Take a peek and follow a link.

My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!

This is actually a free e-book you can download and read anytime you like; it's quite funny--anecdotes from a mom-comedian about parenting and 'how much fun it can be'.

Check Out These Tidbits From One Homeschool Mom

Q: Do you have any friends?

A: No. People avoid us for some reason.

Q: How do you meet people?

A: When forced to socialize we paint ourselves blue and run through the streets screaming. We find this a very effective way to meet new people.

Q: How do you assign grades?

A: We toss a coin.

Q: How do you keep your kids moving forward and working?

A: We bribe them with money and cookies.

Q: Is homeschooling legal?

A: No. In fact, we live in fear of being arrested daily.

Q: Is homeschooling in our state legal?

A: No. And I'll deny we ever had this conversation.

Q: You're homeschooling your children?

A: Yes. Our program will have them ready for college at age 10.

Q: You must be pretty smart to be able to home school your children?

A: Golly, geez, I guess!

William Tell Overature Mom

Some Guides on 'Humor' at Amazon

I Will Survive!

Dad Humor

Why Men Are Happier People

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Fishing Jokes

A site featuring fishing jokes, in addition to numerous categories of other sorts of jokes.

A Homeschool Family

Housework Humor

Quick Clean-up

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

Vision of Cleanliness

Saturday had always been "cleaning day" in the old homestead, and my mother still adhered to the ritual after all her children had left the nest. When I stopped by to visit her one Saturday, I was surprised to find her relaxing in a favorite chair. "Aren't you feeling well?" I asked.

"I feel fine."

"But you're not cleaning."

"After all these years I've finally figured out how to get it done in half the time," Mom told me. "I simply take off my glasses."

Excuses, Excuses

When my septic system was clogged, a colleague volunteered to help me. Bob climbed down into the pit with a snake and yards of cable. After 15 minutes I heard him muttering: "My mother needs a ride into the city, my brother is coming to town, my car has to go to the garage -- "

"Bob," I asked, "what are you doing?"

"Practicing," he replied.

"For what?"

"For the next time you have a problem."

Eau de Product

When I was pregnant with my third child, my mother came to help with my two boys, ages four and six. Mom, who we call Mimi, also cleaned and scrubbed until the whole house was shining. The smell of her favorite cleaning agents often lingered in the air. After the baby was born, Mimi returned to her own home.

Two days later I found some stains on the kitchen counter, so I used bleach to clean them up. Just then my four-year-old walked in and asked, "Where's Mimi?"

"She went home," I replied. "Don't you remember we took her to the airport?"

"Then why do I smell her perfume?" he asked.

Domestic Divide

My husband and I have always exchanged chores around the house, including doing the dishes, which I hate to do, and mowing the lawn, which he hates to do. This worked to our mutual satisfaction until he began to be bothered by people in passing cars staring at him as he relaxed while I mowed.

He solved the problem by presenting me with a T-shirt to wear while I was cutting the grass. On the front, big letters said: "IT'S ALL RIGHT." The back of the T-shirt proclaimed: "HE DOES THE DISHES."

Top 10 Signs Your House is a Mess

Okay, I think we all know this feeling! Take a look!

Housework Humor

This is a long list of articles written by columnists on their humorous perspective regarding housework. They may make you feel a little better about your own mess!

A New Take on an Old Classic

Kid Humor

When a group of 4 to 8 year-olds where asked the question, "What does love mean?", the answers were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. Take a peek!

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Billy - age 4

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.

Karl - age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.

Chrissy - age 6

Love is what makes you smile when you''re tired.

Terri - age 4

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.

Danny - age 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

Emily - age 8

Love is what''s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.

Bobby - age 7

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.

Nikka - age 6

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.

Noelle - age 7

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Here is a list of homeschooler's anecdotes at the Homeschool Legal Defense webpage.

Kid's Rock

Check us out on-line at

The Scientific Homeschool

Be Sure to Lemme Know What You Think!

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    • lasertek lm profile image

      lasertek lm 6 years ago

      such great lens!

      We actually cover the same topic, maybe you can visit ours: Homeschooling 101: Guide to Free Curriculum and Other Resources.

    • profile image

      casamonika 7 years ago

      Super awesome lens! But then again, what do you expect from homeschoolers? I guess it takes one to know one. Thanks for the crack ups! And thanks also for stopping by my homeschool dad lens :)

    • RhondaAlbom profile image

      Rhonda Albom 7 years ago from New Zealand

      very funny! Blessed by a Squidoo Angel (if you want, you can add your link at Angel Blessings from Pukeko)

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Thanks everyone! I was hoping to put a smile on your faces!

    • puzzlerpaige profile image

      puzzlerpaige 8 years ago

      Samantha this is a great collection of funny homeschool stuff. OK, so that You Might Be a Homeschooler if.." hit way too close to home! When someone asks dd what grade she is in the stops and looks over at me. Too funny. I say...oh about 6th grade. And we dare not go to the library without 3 book bags to bring books home. And sleeping late...well, we won't even go there.

      Too good. 5*'s

    • Mihaela Vrban profile image

      Mihaela Vrban 8 years ago from Croatia

      You made me LOL! Excellent sellection! Blessed by an Angel!

    • Superwife profile image

      Superwife 8 years ago

      this is great! 5* and fav from me :)