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How to REALLY be safe meeting ONLINE DATES in person

Updated on December 14, 2012

Meeting Many Serial Killers Online Lately?

From what I've heard meeting a serial killer isn't a whole lot of fun. Oh, sure, it can be at first. Ted Bundy, pictured at left (compare with author photo at right...hmmmm...) was reportedly a handsome, engaging dude who treated the ladies well. I'm guessing the charm started wearing off fast somewhere between the time he showed the dates his bone graveyard and/or he started bashing in their heads with a crowbar. Ok, the authorities never verified it was definitely a crowbar he used. It might have been a custom made hammer or something but either way I just don't think it was a very pleasant experience at that point.

But almost every online date I've had, and I'm way beyond counting on fingers & toes, at one point or another in the process, has asked me (somewhat jokingly) but point blank: "Bill, you're not a serial killer are you?"

Trust me, this is simply not a reliable way to detect a sociopathic murderer.

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword?

Mace Brand Police Strength Pepper Spray Pen Defender
Mace Brand Police Strength Pepper Spray Pen Defender

I'm not sure how this works in the middle of an attack. "Hey, could you stop this raping, abducting, killing stuff for a second so I can pull out my pen and write something down?" Then zap, you got 'em!


27" Full Tang Black Blade Fantasy Ninja Sword w/ Sheath
27" Full Tang Black Blade Fantasy Ninja Sword w/ Sheath

...maybe you better pick up one of these to go with it.

Ridge Runner 6 Piece Lightning Throwing Knives
Ridge Runner 6 Piece Lightning Throwing Knives

Once you have the attacker on the run, keep him at bay with these.

Battle Axe Double Sided
Battle Axe Double Sided

If you're gonna go that far why not come to dates fully armed? And if it turns out you don't need it for protection nothing says, "love, trust and committment" like a battle axe!

Follow this guy's dating tips and you'll end up as happy as...well, a couple of lovebirds like us!
Follow this guy's dating tips and you'll end up as happy as...well, a couple of lovebirds like us!

Yes, I Asked If You Were Meeting Many Serial Killers Online!

Because: The prevailing wisdom is DEAD WRONG!

I met like nineteen women back in the day- in Yahoo Chat to be specific-before finding one I had a four year relationship with. After we decided staying together for life wasn't in the cards I decided to date again (Hey, it was relatively good while it lasted!) Of course I went back to what sorta kinda worked and so far in this go-round I've had fourteen or so dates with varying degrees of success. And the really good news for those of you contemplating doing the same is that other than assorted medical issues such as bi-polar disorder and a herniated disc or two they've been...normal! Not once did I have to witness the milk from my fridge being poured on my lawn while twenty of my friends watched and not once did I need to dodge an attempt to knife me in the back...neither of which I can say about my totally offline past dates. Ok, they were actual steady girlfriends giving me what I probably deserved as the relationship were concluding, but it's funnier if I say dates. Or maybe not...hmmm....

Now I do believe online dating is relatively safe, statistically there aren't many reports of deaths from meeting someone in person first met online, I don't think. Most guys are online to find a girlfriend, probably e-mailed you at some point prior and probably most know they could be tracked through their ISP by law enforcement. But the odds are that there are a few "budding Bundy's" out there and perhaps a Lorena Bobbit weenie-whacking wannabe or two (budding Bobbits?) as well, who might circumvent that fact by using a library computer to find dates.

But clearly, the biggest problem is: the advice posted at the typical online site is seriously flawed. So giving it some thought I've devised a new method that will keep you safe when you meet someone from online, offline.

Invariably the clueless dating sites advise women and men alike to "Meet only in a public place". Excuse me? Hello? Wouldn't old Ted have thrived in that scenario? He met the majority of his victims in busy public places- at a beach or shopping mall- and simply either quickly lured them elsewhere with his my-arm's-in-a-sling-could-you-help-carry this-item--to-my-car ruse or bided his time until the opportunity arose. Date 1 standard advice might work. But date 2 or 3? There will always be people around? I doubt it.

So here's the solution:

Meet where you can see your date's car. As you pull up (with your car doors locked) have your cell ready and send a text to a friend or relative with the license plate #. Previous to the meeting you should have also given them all of the other information you have (e-mails, screen names, dating site you met on, cell phone number, etc.). No criminal wants to be easily tracked down and caught. Knowing that they can't get away with anything should prevent any harm, at least as much as prevention is possible.

If he or she backed in to the parking space it may or may not be a red flag. Keep the doors locked, call and ask the date to "Turn the car around so you can get the # or the date isn't going to happen". Then let him know your friend has the license plate number and other info. Any reasonable guy would understand. If he flips out about it, you may have foiled his plan, go home.

On subsequent meetings you can simply tell the friend or relative you forwarded the information to, who you're going to be with, the time and the place. Be sure the date knows that.

Yes, I've had a bit of fun writing this but serial killing is not funny. It's dang serious. I mean it now. Avoid serial killers at all cost. And don't spell it "cereal killers" as that is something entirely different.

Seriously, Protect Yourself!

There's nothing like fear of discovery to stop a serial killer or rapist in his tracks. A 130 decibel alarm willl do the trick provided you weren't crazy enough to go to deep woods where there are no other people around for miles.

Pepper spray is good too. It takes only a one second burst to temporarily blind an attacker and have them writhing on the ground with coughing, choking and nausea. It can buy you the time you need to escape.

Any Online Dating Tips, Advice or "Bad, Scary Date" Stories? - Post Them Here!

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