How to Meet Women in College
Talking to the Opposite Sex
Are you shy about talking to the opposite sex?
A student’s guide for being popular in college.
Don’t worry if you weren’t popular in high school. College, even a trade school or community college, is a different setting than high school. In high school, students were forced to attend, so most of them weren’t focused on their studies. They had time to invent new ways to torture their teachers and classmates under the mistaken notion that making someone else feel bad will make them feel good. College is a different situation. The students who attend college attend because they value education, and they want a career that doesn’t require them to say “do you want fries with that?” All of the cliques that existed in high school broke up on graduation day, and without her followers, even the coolest of kids becomes a nobody.
Popularity in high school does not translate to college. I once taught a freshman composition class where one of my students, who thought he was still in high school, sat at a table with his friends and talked with them during class. After the third time I asked him to settle down, I gave up. It was a large room, and his disruptions weren’t going beyond the table where he sat. His five friends seemed to enjoy his comments, and removing him would create a larger disruption than letting him stay. By the third class, he was down to two friends. On the fifth class, he sat alone, and when he would attempt to sit with someone else, he or she would move to another table. He stopped attending after he failed to turn in three essays in a row. The same behaviors that made him popular in high school got him branded the village idiot in college.
The moral to the story is as long as the educational process is respected, college can be a great place to meet women. Unfortunately for the ladies, most college classes are about seventy percent female, so women may have to work a little harder to find Mr. Right, or in most cases, Mr. Close Enough.
Create note cards. On the first day of classes, instructors will hand out their syllabi. Look at the reading assignments. Doing the assigned reading is one of the most undervalued aspects of education and one of the most important. Doing the assigned reading benefits students in a number of ways: learn course material; increases vocabulary, comprehension, cognitive functions; and even improves writing; however, none of that is important. The focus here is to meet women / men.
While doing the assigned reading, every time you understand something, something makes sense, or you have an “A-ha” moment, write it down on a note card. Then, continue with the reading until the reading assignment is complete. If you find yourself becoming fatigued at first, that is normal. It is your brain telling you it’s tired. Take a break or switch to a different subject. Learning is best accomplished in small regular bites, not marathon study sessions. It is also normal to have to look at the same concept multiple times in order to fully understand it. As an instructor, I would repeat key information three times during a semester: the first time to introduce the idea, the second to explain the idea, the third to encourage use of the idea.
Once you’ve created about fifty note cards, it’s time to find your first victim. Remember, talking to women / men is like door to door sales. You’re going to get ten no’s before you get a yes, so don’t take it personally.
Find someone who is sitting in the library, student union, or cafeteria, either alone or in a small group and say, “My study partner just cancelled on me, and you look like you’re smart. Would you like to help me study?” Well, you’ve just complemented him/her in a non-threatening way, and asked for help. If she or he does say no, then it is important to respect that and not trouble her again. If he or she says yes, then hand over the note cards and study. This is not the time to become the village idiot. Study the cards and carry on polite conversation. Remember, her goal is to earn a college degree and get a great job. If you help her with that goal, you’re a hero. If you obstruct that goal, you’re a zero.
Don’t blow it. You’ve made a friend. Don’t ruin it by trying to move too fast. Thank her or him for her time. If it seems like it’s appropriate, offer to buy her a cup of coffee or soft drink at the student café. Remember less is more, and first impressions last forever. Now is not the time to brag about your glorious exploits, show off your charming wit, or discuss your physique. It won’t help your cause if you get the reputation of being a college Casanova wanna-be. Don’t even ask for her phone number. If you do your job right, she will ask for yours.
Repeat steps one through three during the semester. If these steps are repeated once a week, by the end of the semester, you’ll have as many as sixteen new friends. More than likely, some of your new friends will introduce you to still more new friends. You can form study groups and use your newly found popularity to find the perfect girl / boyfriend. Oh, and you’ll be earning good grades too.
If things work out, and you do find a special someone, you’ll both have college degrees. That means you’ll have the added bonus of a two income house-hold; although, whatever you do, make sure she / he never reads this article.