How to Beat a Bully Without Throwing a Punch

Mean Girls (Bullying)

As I was pinned up against the brick wall they took turns punching me in the stomach and banging my head against the wall. Hot tears ran down my face and I remember thinking what did I do to deserve this. I managed to slip my hands away from the grasp of one of the bullies and I quickly push some of the girls to get them off of me. I ran away crying and thinking I never wanted to come outside again. A group of girls jumped me just because I was different.

This all happened 20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I was extremely tall for my age and skinny like Olive Oil from Popeye. I got all the jokes…..lets see..there was jolly green giant, tree, Olive Oil, skinny Minnie I could go on for days. It started out just name calling and then they decided they wanted to make me their punching bag.

I cried every night wishing I was shorter or that I could gain weight. I was sick of being teased every day and often thought about how life would be if I wasn’t around. I had a pain inside of me that made me feel ugly, skinny and useless. I looked in the mirror and all I could see was what everyone was saying about me.

When people really started talking about bullying in the schools and in the media I thought they were over doing it. I thought to myself these kids are soft now a days they need to quit being so sensitive. I thought… everyone gets teased when they are growing up. Why are we making such a big deal about it now?

However, when I read about children killing themselves because they couldn’t take the teasing anymore my feelings changed. I had to think about my life and all the torture I went through. I had to sit back and realize this happened to me when I was younger, but back then it (bullying) didn’t have a name. I was border line suicidal because I hurt so bad just from words being said to me, so now that I reflect back I can be empathetic.

The other day I just heard a story about a young ,overweight Muslim teenager who was bullied at his school for being a “nerd” and because of his religion. They couldn’t harm him at school so the bullies decided to follow him and his little sister home one day and cornered them while holding a knife to them all because they didn’t like how they looked and their religion. The boy has since withdrawn from school and is now being home schooled.

There are endless stories and sometimes they do not end with the “bullied” triumphantly winning in the situation. I can’t end all the bullying ,but I can share some helpful hints for kids who are bullied and for parents of those children who are being bullied. I once was a victim ,but I did not let the bullies ruin my life because God had a divine purpose for me.

Here are some tips for those being bullied:

· PRAY for the bully or bullies (we can’t change people only God can and if you have faith God can get you through what you see as a mountain that can’t be moved)

· Ignore the bully (Bullies can smell fear. Try not to show them that what they are saying is upsetting you because that is when they really will mess with you. Ignore and walk away if possible. Don’t argue and don’t try to change their minds about you. Ignoring solves a lot of problems before they escalate.)

· Have confidence in yourself (Make positive affirmations everyday about yourself. Don’t let others bring you down. Remember God loves you and you have a purpose.)

Tips for Parents of the children being bullied:

· PRAY for and with your child about the bully (God says “when two or more come together in my name I am there…..) (Ask God for what you want to happen and wait and have Faith)

· Speak positive affirmations to your children daily (Tell them they are smart,beautiful,talented. They need to hear these things from you to help build their confidence)

· Monitor cell phones, computers etc. (I keep a family computer in the family room and I always know what they are on and when they are on the computer. If they have a computer in their room pop in every once in a while to check on them. If they click out of the screen as soon as you walk in you know something is wrong. Please check into it.)

· Talk to your children (Don’t be so busy that you don’t talk to your kids about how their day at school was or about their plans. Some of them would love to talk ,but don’t feel anyone cares.)

I wish I would have known 20 years ago what I have known now because it would have made my childhood a whole lot easier. I almost ended my life because of constant bullying and I’m glad I didn’t. Don’t let bullying ruin you or your child’s life. Take steps now to help them realize how important they are to you.