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How To Build A Child's Self Esteem

Updated on November 29, 2014

A Child's Precious Years

What baby does not cling tightly to the parents who gave life? Do they not depend on you for all their needs?

From the beginning of her or his life a little one rides on the back of what parents do. That ride can be safe, secure, rewarding, encouraging and a platform from which she/he will leap into the future with self-esteem and enjoying the support of a loving family. Or it can traumatic, fearful, stressed and emotionally charged. It can be an environment of learning and progress or of retardation and despair.

You can usually tell the type of environment a child comes from by the attitude and body language displayed. A well balanced personality is the product of a child's home life and environment. Do it right for the best rewards you can give besides life itself.

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Education and Behaviour Discipline

That is the other side of early education. Having reared three children it was my intention from the start to educate them against drugs, tattoos, motor bikes and anything else that might one day pull them down socially, morally, physically or mentally.

Although a struggle they went to the best private schools in the belief that their lives and future were worth the sacrifice. What I regret the most is that I did not know about early learning tools and where to obtain them. We have come a long way in the last 30 years or so and behavior teaching aids can be found here

Everything about a child's future depends on what goes in by the age of seven. It is at that time that the main channels have formed and by age 11 or 12 it becomes almost impossible to open them to new ideas, different languages and changed behavior. Babies in cribs should be disciplined in the way you intend to direct them and this is easy to do.

Your expectations, rules, privacy, and social contacts are important to both you and the child. If you associate with someone you would not like them to have as friends later in life then you have just crossed the line. If you drink, smoke, take drugs, lie and commit crimes then you are setting the pattern for your offspring. If you are academically motivated then you will pass that on. What you are is what they become so pick up your game if it needs it before criticizing your child in the future.

Have positive standards, rules, mannerisms and such that your child can be proud of. Make sure they are clear cut and good behavior and a happy relationship with your child will follow. Teach your child to think for itself and to be someone in the world who will never be taken advantage of or allow others to bully them.

If your child can solve problems then they will avoid dangerous situations such as finding their way when lost, or not talking to strangers or poking their noses into harmful situation. It all starts in the cradle.

Confidence Wins - What you put in comes out

Children today are in pain. They have role models outside of family influence and it is a very short window of opportunity to put in what you hope will eventually come out. Their future depends on it.

Don't encourage your child to become something you choose for it. Let her/him pick its own course while you guide against the nasty influences. Being a millionaire, being a celebrity, being a model, becoming famous are all junk dreams influenced by the things we see and hear. Give them values of a good family life, substantial education, good morals and love for others and you have done well

Building Confidence

The right strategies

When it comes time for your little one to start school it will be a great pleasure if he/she can go off with a smile and a happy heart knowing what school is about and that they are well prepared to meet the challenge. You can do your infant a huge favor by preparing the brain and opening the channels that it will now use to step onto the world stage and absorb as much education as possible.

That means that instead of the tears and fears that most children experience at this time your child will be outward looking, prepared to make friends and to listen and take notice of the education ahead. Don't be a parent who will do nothing in the expectation that it is the school's responsibility and the teachers who will do the training. That would be a huge mistake on your part.

Children should feel special in the eyes of their parent and those around them in order to have confidence and face up to strangers. They will meet plenty of challenges at school and boost confidence give them personalized one on one attention. That extends to books, toys, games, music and so on..Personalized books and music will help to boost their feelings of self worth as well.

That does not mean that all children will approach the challenges they face in the same way because many are painfully shy and reluctant to leave mum and their comfort zone. If they feel good within themselves this can help overcome these hurdles. Its one more reason why you need to give them the best advantages and show your love in the care and attention they have already received from you. Now it is time for their teachers to take over and their success in dealing with new students will largely depend on the attitudes with which they start.

Look over available tools for learning right now and begin the process of strengthening your child mentally to rise above modern expectations. What you put in now will pay off in the future. There are some incredible trends in confidence builders available online and its never too soon to get started using them. Intelligence is for the large part is what one is born with but what you put in will enhance it no end.

Protecting Oneself Should be Part of Early Training

Building Self Esteem is Part and Parcel of It.

Children sent off to school for the first time may be very confused and frightened. That is why mum or dad is close at hand and helping them feel the way through the strange sensations of another person or persons taking over and ruling part of their lives. There is no other way to do it then by parents being as supportive as they can be. That is to both the child and the teacher.

But after a while the child gains in confidence and it becomes no big deal. Once used to the idea of strangers being important figures in their daily routine, and by now they have quite a few outsiders influencing them, they may let their guard down.

Children of all ages need protection from classmates as well as strangers. They must be told of the dangers of bullying and of talking to strangers. Started young as covered in this report some simple drills and precautions measures can save a child's life. Don't think that by knowing what could happen a child will be damaged in some way, because the opposite is true The damage comes from not knowing what to expect, how to scream, run and tell another adult.

We are in an age of violence and pornography and children are being snatched from parks, schools, walking along streets and, as we saw in some high profile cases, victims can be easily taken from public places and even from their beds. Don't take a chance on your precious child disappearing this way when there is help at hand to find them should it happen.

The world is reeling from the number of child abductions recently reported and as pornography is a world wide trend with ever more criminals now active for the quick buck no child is safe. It is just too easy to gag a child, lock it in a boot and be away without anyone even noticing it. Protecting children by using a GPS device may not appeal to parents but the consequences of not taking such action may change their minds.

Children Need to Protect Themselves - You won't be there for most of their lives

If you think your child is being bullied or if your child has told you that he or she is being bullied, you can help. Parents are often the best resource to build a child's self confidence and to teach him or her how to best solve problems. Here are a few ways you can help:

* Talk to your child's teacher about it instead of confronting the bully's parents. If the teacher doesn't act to stop the bullying, talk to the principal.

* Teach your child nonviolent ways to deal with bullies, like walking away, playing with friends, or talking it out.

* Help your child act with self confidence. With him or her, practice walking upright, looking people in the eye, and speaking clearly.

* Don't encourage your child to fight. This could lead to him or her getting hurt, getting in trouble, and beginning more serious problems with the bully.

* Involve your child in activities outside of school. This way he or she can make friends in a different social circle.

If your child is the bully then sit down and talk about it with him.her. Let the child know how disgusting this behavior is and what it does to other children, and adults. Create the need for cooperation with other children, who are always going to be different to our expectations, and why they should never be picked on. One strategy I used with my children was to encourage them to make friends with those who appear isolated or who are being mistreated by others. Its all about building character.

Build the strength and energy within that they need to overcome the bullies at school and the adversities they will inevitably face. Watch the video.

Building Confidence and Self Esteem

Children Worry Over Their Looks

Children who learn early are more confident than those who don't. They are usually outreaching and supportive and it can help them achieve popularity and favor among their peers when they start school.

But there are other things you can do to enhance this because it cannot be all up to the child. Parents who spend this much time and effort to ensure they get ahead are usually also mindful of their appearance. If that is the case then your offspring is also.

Confidence in adults is usually centered around dress, knowledge and actions and we all know that presentation is everything. Children, on the other hand, are not so conscious of appearance as much as they are about how others relate to them. This is, in fact, the same thing because if you look, smell and act good then people generally like you and you have a degree of popularity. But if you are disheveled, smelly and ignorant it's a different story.

Training a child into being presentable starts in the cradle and it is strictly up to the parents as part of their education to make a child aware of it. Nice clothes do not have to cost the earth and even designer garments for children are very reasonable.

Some Companies make the job of dressing your little ones so easy with wonderful designer gear and furniture. Some are particular favorites among fussy mothers and grandparents. The range of accessories, furniture, clothing and so on is amazing. And it all adds to the child's education and self esteem. How others see your child and react to it will also show on their faces.

Some bargain stores offer branded named garment for kids of all ages with amazing discounts on stock so it pays to search around. Buying online is a way to save a heap of money and dress your child well. So there is no excuse to not make your child the best it can be.

Whimsical styles are in so its a matter of preference. Most boutiques of this nature cater for children from babies up and there are sales going now as the economy and competition creates an impact.

Do start educating your children from birth to appreciate quality and appearance and build their self esteem through how others respond to them. We all know that 'clothes make the man' well they also build character and confidence in children.

Dress Maketh The Child

How they present to the world makes a difference

In my school days the ones who were the main center of attention were those who were smartly dressed and well cared for at home. So its not just about education. The child is an extension of yourself and you should bear in mind the fact that how you treat it is how it will appear to the outside world.

Confidence and self-esteem are reflected in a child's face, stance and attitude. It also opens the brain to better learning, a fact not recognized by many. If a child is belted or abused it shows and that is a signal for bullies and predators to pounce on it. Such treatment will lock up the brain and prevent knowledge from getting in and it may lead to depression in later life.

Parents must, therefore, present their child to the outside world with confidence and enough self esteem to survive the taunts of others, especially classmates and playmates and believe me appearance counts. In a fashion conscious world children are definitely more vain about their looks than they used to be and this can start from a young age. Even if your child is not now aware of their apparel they soon will be once they start school.

Children Have Dreams - How to help them achieve

Don't put a child down because he/she has dreams. The future depends on brain development and the goals of childhood may become the great achievements of tomorrow. Watch the lecture on this subject.

How many times do we hear people who became great in their chosen profession talk of the struggles they had against family prejudice to get there. They were told things like "get a real job" when in fact they were making more than any 'real' job ever paid.

Still images from Dreamstime - click here

What Is Your Take on This Subject? - Please leave a comment and rating

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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      A very important subject and a great lens. You really can tell a lot about a home by a child's mannerisms. It's scary sending kids out to school and all they must face. Thanks for sharing.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Very nice ideas for child self esteem here! Blessed!

    • sherridan profile image


      6 years ago

      So honoured that you have linked to my lens on the same subject. I shall reciprocate - you have sound advice here, presented beautifully.

    • girlfriendfactory profile image


      7 years ago

      Oh thanks for sharing my lens on your awesome lens! It's so important to foster a healthy self-esteem in our kiddos and I'm positive that doing so in my son has helped him endure a pretty trying past year. Thank goodness it's over and he's moving on like the champ I know him to be! He makes me so proud! I'm adding yours to mine, too! :) Great job!

    • Redneck Lady Luck profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      7 years ago from Canada

      You are so right. Kindness and a positive attitude does so much to make a child grow up being a positive confident person. How to build a child's self esteem can be so easy if one only knows to do so. Best of the wishes.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Self-esteem is an integral part of every persons life, Parents will be able to find such great help in this lens. Well done!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I like so much your lens, very useful.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Good lens ..I will share it with my friends..

    • JohannDog profile image

      Johann The Dog 

      7 years ago from Northeast Georgia

      Great info for two and four leggers :) Woofs, Johann

    • ChrisDay LM profile image

      ChrisDay LM 

      7 years ago

      Yes, self-esteem can be built or destroyed by words and actions. Self-esteem is a vital ingredient of a happy and fulfilled child and parents bear a heavy responsibility. However, in my experience, schools also have a massive potential to be positive or negative in this area.

    • akumar46 lm profile image

      akumar46 lm 

      7 years ago

      Great tips for the parents.Nice lens on building child self esteem.Thanks.

    • MargoPArrowsmith profile image


      7 years ago

      Lensrolled to Good Enough Parenting, Your Child and the Cell Phone and Your Child's Financial Future Starts Now

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Oh my! I haven't really talked about this online, but attending Catholic School in Cleveland was a bit tough on one's self esteem as a child -- the nuns that I encountered in a couple of grades were not very 'warm' with their students. They were rather strict.

    • Webcodes LM profile image

      Webcodes LM 

      9 years ago

      Great resource.. a must read for every parent. 5*.

    • Sylvestermouse profile image

      Cynthia Sylvestermouse 

      9 years ago from United States

      I certainly agree that building self esteem before your have to send your child out into the world is extremely important. It doesn't take long for peers to have more influence than parents.


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