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Landing on a Comet

Updated on November 13, 2014

Landing on a moving comet

The tricky part is when you roll the windows down
The tricky part is when you roll the windows down | Source

Woah... Slow Down!

The Philea lander landed (hey - isn't that what landers do?) on the Rosetta Comet on November 12, 2014.

What could possibly go wrong?

In space, there is no one to hear you scream, mainly because in space the temperature is absolute zero, and humans would instantaneously freeze when they opened their space helmets in order to hear you scream. So, they would die before hearing the sound escaping from your already dead self... Why is space so damned unforgiving?

But - our problems don't stop there - in space, bacteria and other forms of life that could wipe out the human race could very well thrive in the interior of a comet - after all, many scientists pondit that the human race was evolved from something that landed on Earth from a comet, something bearing DNA and RNA. There are others who think that God exists within these roving chunks of Big Bang castoff, but then again, there were many people who thought the world was flat and Heaven was on top of the clouds!

Now, we have a human-made comet lander landing on a comet (what else would a comet lander do?) and drilling for "samples" - they are trying to get a snapshot of what the Universe looked like at the moment of of the "Big Bang". Yes, you could say they're trying to prove "the Big Bang Theory" - they should have just asked Sheldon and Leonard! (if you don't watch "The Big Bang Theory" on TV, how are you reading this?)

It's also been suggested by many scientists that gold, precious gold, was brought to earth by comets. Other forms of life, like dinosaurs and cock-a-roaches too! So, is it too much of a stretch that cock-a-roaches made of gold could live under the surface of the comet?

Yes. Yes it is.

So - if the lander detects gold, how long will it be before someone tries to mine the freaking thing?

Woah, slow down!

First Comet Landing Ever!

The very first picture of the asteroid from the Rosetta Lander
The very first picture of the asteroid from the Rosetta Lander | Source

Clubs for Women

So, what could possibly go wrong, drilling into a comet to see what thrives under the surface, and what the comet is made of? What if it's made up of the Davidian Branch members, who thought that they were going to be beamed to a space ship that was hiding on the other side of a comet... or chocolate fudge!

The real scary part is the unknown - like, unknown things that human-made sensors can't sense, and therefore make it back to Earth when samples are brought back. It could be a new energy source that will make space travel possible (the only thing stopping space travel is, after all, a new type of fuel, a new type of engine and a new type of metal to make the ship out of, so that it could go 10 trillion-trillion miles per hour.

But when bringing back samples from a comet, there is a great chance that something will come back with it, something that has lain dormant for millenia until we stupidly woke it up. Maybe something that was, as is hoped, formed during the "Big Bang"?

Maybe it will be Earth 2.0, with an all new crop of dinosaurs and humanoids, when men were men and a club for women had a completely different meaning! (Yes, I went there - the earliest form of foreplay, the wooden club! Use it on your favourite prehistoric woman! And, the best part? No marriage!)

The good news? So far, the lander has been sending pictures of what the comet looks like, from the surface of the comet! Wouldn't it just be hilarious if it snapped pictures of bigfoot?!?!

The Meaning of Life?

No, this is not a Monty Python skit!

This Rosetta mission is actually mission-defined as looking into the possibilities that life on Earth, including you and me (but not him - never him!) were transported here from a planet that broke up when its' Sun exploded, as ours will in about 4 Billion years.

So, if there really is a Heaven, it will die off in about 4 Billion years - even everlasting life doesn't last forever, i guess!.

The ever wondering question of the human psyche is "where did we come from?" - did God snap his fingers and create Adam and Eve (or Adam and Steve, for all of you LBGTLMNOP people out there) sitting under an Apple tree? What, they had Apples back then? I bet Samsung and Microsoft are just pissing mad about that!. That also surely makes up for all of the different races of people in the world, and their different appearances, doesn't it - inbreeding! We're all ruddy inbreeds, if we go by the Bible's stories.

Or, like the movie "Prometheus" predicts, we were put here by alien DNA, sort of planted into the oceans and left to develop over time. Lucky thing we weren't eaten by a codfish, trout or salmon, or any of the millions of water-borne life back in the day we were just single-cell organisms floating along in the current.

Would you live on a comet?

If they opened a Hilton Hotel on the comet, would you go and stay there?

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    • Marc Babineau profile image

      Marc Babineau 3 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Thanks for the visit, Marcy!!

      I'm just starting to try and find my voice for the hubs I want to write - i am getting some decent cash out of it so far, so i might as well try this over writing articles for a buck!!

      Leave your blog's URL on the next comment you leave (prefferably on a different post) and I will recriprocate! That is, after all, the idea of this LinkedIn Group...

    • profile image

      Marcy Palmeri 3 years ago

      Marc Babineau, What a compelling group of articles! And what fun. Thank you for providing me with a well deserve break from the seriousness of the day.


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