One Law That Has Never Been Broken and Never Will Be?
I first discovered the existence of this law a few years ago while conducting an online search shortly after noticing the new and improved resurrection of cable televisions infatuation with cryptozoology and the seemingly insatiable appetite exhibited by the general public for this mysterious and fascinating subject. The legend I'm referring to was born shortly after the now famous Paterson - Gimlin video surfaced in 1967. A brief 60 second film which portrays an unusually large, bulky being covered almost entirely in hair walking away from the two witnesses and strutting into the dense wooded area of Northern California known as Bluff Creek. The being walks confidently yet with great haste as it peers back over its shoulder to get one last look at the intruders who infringed upon his or her secluded world. Was it real? Was it a man in a suit? we may never find the answers or uncover that definitive piece of evidence which would unveil the truth, and to be honest, I think some of us would like it to remain this way, an unsolved yet fascinating mystery.
Whether it's cryptozoology or discussions of intelligent life on other planets in distant galaxies light years away, the ever evolving twists and or turns this subject matter has undertaken in an effort by some to freshen it up is always presented in the most intriguing manner on the most popular of cable networks. Partly rooted in speculation and myth, and partly standing on firm factual ground backed by seemingly genuine physical and or photographic evidence, clues of which I'm confident the vast majority of us have not examined up close or in person. But never the less, we presumably take the researchers words as genuine and accept these truth seekers as knowledgeable and trusted sources.
This leads me to the following law which will be displayed here so everyone can read it and ultimately draw their own conclusions, this ordinance is one part of the deep, intriguing mystery which is apparently rooted in fact. The law was enacted by one county in Washington State as a proactive measure to ensure the safety of this unknown being which may or may not even exist. I was utterly fascinated when I became aware of this ordinance that protects an intangible, possibly non-existent thing. Unless I'm missing something, to my knowledge it has yet to be definitively proven as real or tangible in any way shape or form, hence, my curiosity in regard to the law which is on the books.
The ironically perplexing thing is, I found the existence of this legislation to be more intriguing than the pressing question of whether or not this gigantic, bipedal, primate type animal this law protects actually exists. The quest by some adventurous individuals to prove or disprove a mythical entity or being is one thing, but the thought process and brain storming session that obviously took place by elected officials which led to debate and ultimate passage of certain pieces of legislation that require a coherent political body's up or down vote, is yet another. Here is the obscure and some would argue absurd law. If you haven't seen it previously, I think you're in for a real, or possibly even surreal treat.
UNDISCOVERED SPECIES PROTECTION ACT
- Whereas, there is evidence to indicate the possible existence of an undiscovered species a primate mammal variously described as Bigfoot, Sasquatch, an ape-like creature or a subspecies of Homo Sapiens; and
- Whereas, reported recent and past sightings, research by anthropologist, Dermatologist, biologist, forensic experts, cryptozooligst, independent organizations, private individuals and the famous chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall support this possibility, and
- Whereas, the absence of specific laws covering the slaying , taking, trapping or harassing of said specimens encourages laxity in the use of firearms and other deadly devices and poses a clear and present threat to the safety and well-being of persons living or traveling within the boundaries of the creatures habitat as well as to the creatures themselves,
- Whereas, For the safety of all , the carrying or dispersing of firearms requires a sense of responsibility to all surrounding individuals and animals . It is the shooters full responsibility to correctly identify the species before the taking of aim and or the killing of a species, therefore ignorance will not absolve the shooter of said charges.
- Whereas, be it resolved that any premeditated, willful and wanton slaying harassing or any malicious activities upon such creature shall be deemed a felony punishable by a fine not to exceed One hundred Thousand Dollars ($100.0000) and/or imprisonment, not to exceed ten (10) years
- Whereas in the event of the slaying or capture of said creature any and all (moneys) proceeds and revenues shall be donated to a state college for future studies and or the protection of said creatures. The rights and physical possession to the said creature shall also be immediately donated to a state college, for further studies.
If this is the first time you've ever seen this you're probably asking yourself the EXACT same question I did within a few short seconds after reading and digesting it. And of course that question is, who does Bigfoot know and how did he/she manage to get this law onto the books without even attending a single city council meeting or spending a single solitary presidential portrait to promote or convince the appropriate legislative body to enact an ordinance which would protect his/her entire species? A very puzzling question indeed. Realistically, it usually takes years of hard work, dedication and due diligence by a tangible individual or entity to even get a political body to give you half an ear let alone initiate the first steps in a long drawn out process of crafting and ultimately drafting a measure like this onto legal parchment. So the questions remain, Who is Bigfoot?, Who does he/she know?, and how much does he/she charge for a retainer?
And why hasn't the Leprechaun Lobby been as successful in their efforts? After all, if precedent set by the above Bigfoot law is 'Subspecies' of the human race, everyone knows the Leprechaun is without a doubt a SPECIES not a sub SPECIES as is the Yeti and Sasquatch, and they have no protective laws. Furthermore, according to legend, they are certainly not lacking in monetary resources, last I checked the price of gold was nudging its way right through the ozone layer on its way to the outer reaches of the our solar system. And why hasn't the Leprechaun retained the services of Bigfoot who has a proven track record of success and obviously knows how to get the job done? So here's the dichotomy, we have a state legislative body taking preventative measures to protect a species which is of unknown origin and possibly non existent, but on the other hand, there are no laws on the books that I'm aware of to protect the Leprechaun, an undeniable bona fide member of the human race.
The logic or lack thereof is mind boggling to say the least. A fascinating subject which I'm sure will take many more years to decipher and understand so during the interim, if you need solid, competent legal representation with respect to a pending action, Bigfoot charges a Big Retainer Fee, but it's well worth the money or gold spent.