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The "What Kind of College Man Cave Will I Have?" Expert Quiz

Updated on October 31, 2016

Sorry, ladies. This one’s for the guys, and for good reason. It seems, in all honesty, that a dorm room fits the male mentality pretty well. It’s basically a cave – sometimes featuring a keg in the closet. It’s minimal, and guys like that. Stick a good steadfast girl in a tiny room, and we might have a problem. Ladies need space.

So this is about the kind of man cave you, the college guy, may keep, based on this quiz. What you think may be cool.

This Is a Quiz

Don’t get stressed out, though. It’s not like this will make or break your midterm. On the contrary, there’s no grade here, only information to help you determine if your college pad will be indeed the party place of the semester, or not.

Some of what you’ll be asked here will refer to a lot of what your personality will say. Others may seem like trivia questions on décor and style. Just be honest, and let it all go – because in the end, it’s your man cave.

But if you want it to be cool, especially when treating a special lady to a special night of board games and movies (because you’re a gentleman, right?) or you just want to have a fun hangout time with a few friends, look at what you’ll learn here as the true-blue wisdom of starting off in style as a full-fledged adult with panache.

So here it goes….

The Categories of “College Man Cave” Expertise

College Superstar Extraordinaire Celebrity of the Dorm Hall (Point Total: 15-18)

What’s the point of going through this category? (For those getting the lower scores, obviously) You’ve been blessed by God with mad skills not only to Feng Shui up your dorm room but to make it look like your dorm room was born that way.

Firstly, you understand this important point about making good spaces: it’s about space, in that the more you have, the better your man cave. Think about it….

Let’s say you like girls (or guys, whatever). And let’s say the opposite sex (or same sex) likes your company, especially with clothes on! In a nutshell, you’re so damn likeable. Now picture you having so much space in your room that you can practically have a party without any injuries.

Space is important. So go ahead and combine your entertainment/study center with your bed. Bunk beds work well. Yes, the downside is that you can be drunk from a night out at the bar and would be unable to climb up the ladder, but let’s be fair here: you’re not trying to get drunk every night; you’re trying to be awesome. So keep the drinks to a minimum.

Lighting always brightens up a room, even with the main dorm room light off. You even use creative and colored light bulbs, too. Plant life will make any room look lively as well as minimal entertainment electronics. You don't do that, and you might as well charge admission for the next premiere of “Transformers” or “Avengers,” seriously. Your dorm room would then not be about you, but about the darn movie.

You’re well aware of how body odor can travel, especially in such close quarters; and one pair of dirty underwear underneath the bed can turn a slick man cave into a slithering snake pit. So needless to say, laundry doesn’t rule you.

While all the digital stuff and consoles rule the gaming stratosphere, let’s face it: nothing beats a social game; it brings people together. They stand the test of time, those board games, clean party games. You especially love a good game of poker. And you’re good at it.

And nothing beats guests coming into your dorm room and them looking around in awe at all the cool upscale posters hanging nicely on the walls. Color rules a dorm room.

The Digital Dynamo and Movie Man (Point Total: 11-14)

There’s nothing wrong with liking movies, liking the whole THX and surround sound, shaking the walls thing. That’s for sure. It’s this case where it really is all about you and not about having guests over and socializing. It’s your pad. Your rules. Your life.

You love the fact that you can relatively keep a clean room, don’t have to clean up for any parties, and watch as many movies and play as many video games as you want. Of course, you would only have this ideal college man cave if you have a single room – so let’s pray you don’t end up with a roommate, because that’ll really cut the space down some.

Bean bag chairs are awesome to you. But only you. The good thing, however, is that you generally don’t need to worry about peeving people off with all the noise you make blasting your hip-hop music on your big stereo system. Because the walls are so incredibly thick.

You’re obviously pimped out, but you only get to show it off for an hour or two at the most, maybe once every week. It’s the lack of space, really. No one can sit around, except on your bed; and with your cool video game posters hanging right over the bed, by the end of the semester they’re already falling off after a head here or there laying on the paper and messing up the scotch tape holding it up.

You do movie nights, generally – but you’re really interested in the whole 3D TV thing.

Pigsty, Pigsty, Pigsty, and Methane Emissions in the Dungeon (Point Total: 6-10)

Please close your noses. The rankness. The utter putrid odoriferous olfactory ominous hell that is your man cave would be more suitable for the lowest of bats and pond scum. But you don’t care….

It’s your man cave.

And what’s cool about that is no one will bother you, invade your privacy, or try to disrupt your daily routine. There’s something to be said about that quality in a college man cave….

Still, it’s not you’re aware of the fact that there’s a thick barrier of odor lining the threshold of your door, acting like saran wrap bending in when someone tries to walk through. It’s that stench keeping everyone out of your room, not to mention the fact that you have mounds of rotted clothes piled up close to the door.

Even if they could get through the force field of fierce poop smells, they’d have to climb the mountain of soggy sweaty clothes to even get to you, that is if your guests haven’t grown a third radioactive nipple from the precise chemical reactions existing in the air of your dorm room.

Again, though, the benefit here? No one bothers you. I guess that’s a good thing.

Take Notes. Your Entire Social Life Hinges on This.

The good thing about doing up a snazzy college man cave is that you have so much freedom, believe it or not. Make it your own. There's nothing necessarily bad or good about a certain kind of man cave. The only important thing to know about this quiz is this: this is the kind of man cave you apparently want and need. And that makes all the difference.

So make it good.

This is basically the start of your adult life, sort of. You’re practicing. And practice makes perfect.


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