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A Spoof on "Me" and "Him" from Gramma Grammar

Updated on May 21, 2016
Source

Down with Uppity, Elitist, Intellectuals

by Billie Kelpin and Anonymous "Him"

Me and him have some definite views on language. Opps, sorry for being so rude. I meant to say him and me since anyone knows its always more polite to put the other person first when both are used as the subject of the sentence. So him and me are really confused about all this uppity, elitist use of the language that is so ubiquitous in our nation. For those of you who haven't graduated college like we did, (or "graduated from" college as they used to say) ubiquitous means "all over the place." Well, to be honest it wasn't me and him who graduated college, per se. Him actually dropped out in his junior year, but me has a Masters Degree from NYU. So actually, for the sake of full disclosure, it would have been more accurate to say, "Me and him (opps, sorry again, "Him and me") both attended college." Me don't need to mention my Masters. Now that would really be uppity.

Nevertheless, me and him have discussed, pondered, and deliberated the question of why so many pseudo-intellectuals and, let's not mince words here, actual real intellectuals and well-educated people continue to use the English language in such an elitist fashion. No one else does.

Loosen Up Guys:  How about: 'Me and Paul Ryan have persuaded the House to pass the budget bill.'?
Loosen Up Guys: How about: 'Me and Paul Ryan have persuaded the House to pass the budget bill.'? | Source

'Me and Him Really Hit It Off' How About It, Mr. President?

Pope Francis and President Obama
Pope Francis and President Obama | Source

Uppity Speaker of the House Boehner

It doesn't matter what your political leanings might be. I've heard John Boehner trying to be just as uppity as President Obama with all his: 'Paul Ryan and I have persuaded the Republican Party to back the bipartisan budget bill.' Get real, Boehner. You need that 20-40 age demographic, so how about just stating your thoughts in real American English and give us a: "Me and Paul Ryan persuaded the Republican party…" for once. Just throw any resemblance to educated English right out of the Speaker of the House's window. Let's all just start sounding like the uneducated fools we are. I'm totally surprised to hear Trump use He and I as subjects of the sentence and sounding so educated in grammar usage; he sure doesn't try to make sense any other way - like CONTENT!

Uppity President Obama - All Intellectual and Stuff

And you, too, Mr. President, paleeze stop showing off with statements like 'Key European allies and I have conferred on sanctions against Russia and determined that intervention in Crimea at this time would not be feasible nor efficacious.' Come on! Really??? Don't you think you should get down with the Millenials and First Globals a bit and go for something like: "Me and key European allies…." (I'm telling you, your party also needs that 20-40 age demographic!)


If You MUST Sound Educated...

Let's say you actually DO want people to think you have been educated, here's a little guide:

She and I went shopping. YES!

Me and her went shopping. NO! NO! and NO!

The simple test: (take the sentence apart by removing the "and")

Me went shopping???? NO!

Her went shopping ??? NO!

Then "Me and her went shopping" is (well, I won't be gentle here) just plain WRONG!

If the pronoun doesn't sound right WITHOUT an "and", then don't use that pronoun WITH the "and".


"Me and Mr. Williams doing 'Hollywood Faces.'
"Me and Mr. Williams doing 'Hollywood Faces.' | Source

Even Jimmy Fallon Sounds Too Educated

And what about Jimmy Fallon? Even the guy who gets over 3 million views on youtube talks all uppity and educated! Geez. In searching through all of his videos on youtube and on NBC, there isn't one usage of "me and him" as the subject of the sentence by the real Jimmy Fallon unless he's playing a character! And I thought Jimmy was of the people.

We can even say the same about Justin Timberlake. He does sound quite educated, intellectual, and all uppity in his interviews. You have to go way to the end of the video above to catch him in the "Me-and-my-wife-did-drink-you-out-of-all-of-your-liquor..." deal. Ah...Justin, you adorable person, you. (Me drank you out of your liquor?) At least we understand that it's the rhythm of the lyrics that moves you man. "Me and you girl," just works better in a song than "You and I girl."

Of course we can always count on NYU graduate Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Live to be real and un-uppity in an interview. I actually tweeted him about his "Him and me..." usage on some talk show. It was about two years ago now, but you just don't forget a thing like that when you hear it.

Even my own daughter, singer, actor, and comedienne, Bethany Therese posted a picture of Robin Williams and her in the green room when they performed in Mill Valley. It's the dream of every mother who has focused her life on language development to see a picture of her daughter and Robin Williams with the caption: "Me and Mr. Williams doing Hollywood faces...." I know, I know, it was a picture with the guy who received an Academy Award for his performance in "Good Will Hunting" and who was unforgettable in "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Dead Poet's Society," and a few other little flicks. But really, "Me and Mr. Williams...?" I really don't know what's absolutely correct for a picture. But even if the intention was to say "a picture OF me and Mr. Williams, can we please put Mr. Williams first even if he's to the right? I'm just sayin'....

All I can say is we need to stop acting all intellectual and educated. Maybe, in fact, we need to start speaking like all of our great country western songs. "I aint trying to forget you anymore." We know why song lyrics have to say ain't. It has one syllable and fits into the rhyme scheme of the rest of the song. What would it sound like if it were "I am not trying to forget you any more." So let's imitate the music lyrics and get real: "Me and Mrs. Jones have a thing going on."

I hope all my fellow writers and readers of this article will add their observations of "anti-uppity" usage (code word for anti-intellectual or anti-educated uses) of the objective case pronoun him, her, me as the subject of a sentence or the subjective pronouns I, she, he as the object of the sentence. It's only then that we can move forward toward a less educated sounding country.

Me and him (whomever him is) thank you for reading. Watch for other articles on the use of pronouns as the OBJECTS of prepositions which will be brought to you by he and I.




So "Me" and "Him" and "Her" Are Useless?

No, no, no, me and him are not useless. They function very well as OBJECTS - objects of actions, objects of prepositions, and so on.

Brian pinged me.
I'll text her right away.

This article was written by me, for her, about him, to you.

For more clarification, see links that are listed.

A Quiz for You


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Side Note to English Teachers:

As you know this usage does not seem to be a problem for students learning English as a Second Language (ESL/EFL students). Hubpages has excellent articles on teaching ESL, one of the most comprehensive of which can be found at http://muttface.hubpages.com/

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© 2014 Billie Kelpin

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    • Billie Kelpin profile image
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      Billie Kelpin 3 years ago from Newport Beach

      @Suzanne, Thanks so much for your comment. I afraid, though, the ironic tone is lost because the usage is being to sound RIGHT to people. I'll keep on my quest :)

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 3 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      Let's hope this hub helps out some people who need to figure out why they don't sound the same as traditional English speakers! Voted useful.

    • Billie Kelpin profile image
      Author

      Billie Kelpin 3 years ago from Newport Beach

      Thanks for your vote up! It IS something little kids do a lot as language emerges, BUT, if you notice, it's now becoming a common usage among teens to 35 year-olds. I really don't know when it started, but you'll notice it all over TV: sitcoms, ads, late night talk show interviewees. I'm not a purist when it comes to language usage, and heaven knows, I commit a myriad of language "sins," but "me and him" as the subject of the sentence is more than I can bear :)

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      The "me and him" is bothersome, but is something little kids do a lot until they outgrow the habit. Enjoyed your take on this and voted up!

    • Billie Kelpin profile image
      Author

      Billie Kelpin 3 years ago from Newport Beach

      GreenPrince, Thanks so much for your comment. Who doesn't like to hear "smart, funny, and intellectual" ? You made my day :)

    • Billie Kelpin profile image
      Author

      Billie Kelpin 3 years ago from Newport Beach

      Simondixie: LOL, I suspect that's what's happening with this essay - phew - over the head it goes - on the order of "A Modest Proposal" by Swift. (as if I were a Swift (tee hee). Thanks Nancy! Got to get to your new hubs soon!

    • GreenPrince profile image

      Prince Edike 3 years ago from Philippines

      Smart, Funny, Intellectual, and Sentimentally sound hub. Keep it on billiekelpin

    • simondixie profile image

      Nancy McLendon Scott 3 years ago from Georgia

      I love it! My sentiments exactly......your tongue-in-cheek tone is perfect! Would love to use this with an English class---problem is---it would probably go right over their head....

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