A Spoof on "Me" and "Him" from Gramma Grammar
Down with Uppity, Elitist, Intellectuals
by Billie Kelpin and Anonymous "Him"
Me and him have some definite views on language. Opps, sorry for being so rude. I meant to say him and me since anyone knows its always more polite to put the other person first when both are used as the subject of the sentence. So him and me are really confused about all this uppity, elitist use of the language that is so ubiquitous in our nation. For those of you who haven't graduated college like we did, (or "graduated from" college as they used to say) ubiquitous means "all over the place." Well, to be honest it wasn't me and him who graduated college, per se. Him actually dropped out in his junior year, but me has a Masters Degree from NYU. So actually, for the sake of full disclosure, it would have been more accurate to say, "Me and him (opps, sorry again, "Him and me") both attended college." Me don't need to mention my Masters. Now that would really be uppity.
Nevertheless, me and him have discussed, pondered, and deliberated the question of why so many pseudo-intellectuals and, let's not mince words here, actual real intellectuals and well-educated people continue to use the English language in such an elitist fashion. No one else does.
'Me and Him Really Hit It Off' How About It, Mr. President?
Uppity Speaker of the House Boehner
It doesn't matter what your political leanings might be. I've heard John Boehner trying to be just as uppity as President Obama with all his: 'Paul Ryan and I have persuaded the Republican Party to back the bipartisan budget bill.' Get real, Boehner. You need that 20-40 age demographic, so how about just stating your thoughts in real American English and give us a: "Me and Paul Ryan persuaded the Republican party…" for once. Just throw any resemblance to educated English right out of the Speaker of the House's window. Let's all just start sounding like the uneducated fools we are. I'm totally surprised to hear Trump use He and I as subjects of the sentence and sounding so educated in grammar usage; he sure doesn't try to make sense any other way - like CONTENT!
Uppity President Obama - All Intellectual and Stuff
And you, too, Mr. President, paleeze stop showing off with statements like 'Key European allies and I have conferred on sanctions against Russia and determined that intervention in Crimea at this time would not be feasible nor efficacious.' Come on! Really??? Don't you think you should get down with the Millenials and First Globals a bit and go for something like: "Me and key European allies…." (I'm telling you, your party also needs that 20-40 age demographic!)
If You MUST Sound Educated...
Let's say you actually DO want people to think you have been educated, here's a little guide:
She and I went shopping. YES!
Me and her went shopping. NO! NO! and NO!
The simple test: (take the sentence apart by removing the "and")
Me went shopping???? NO!
Her went shopping ??? NO!
Then "Me and her went shopping" is (well, I won't be gentle here) just plain WRONG!
If the pronoun doesn't sound right WITHOUT an "and", then don't use that pronoun WITH the "and".
Even Jimmy Fallon Sounds Too Educated
And what about Jimmy Fallon? Even the guy who gets over 3 million views on youtube talks all uppity and educated! Geez. In searching through all of his videos on youtube and on NBC, there isn't one usage of "me and him" as the subject of the sentence by the real Jimmy Fallon unless he's playing a character! And I thought Jimmy was of the people.
We can even say the same about Justin Timberlake. He does sound quite educated, intellectual, and all uppity in his interviews. You have to go way to the end of the video above to catch him in the "Me-and-my-wife-did-drink-you-out-of-all-of-your-liquor..." deal. Ah...Justin, you adorable person, you. (Me drank you out of your liquor?) At least we understand that it's the rhythm of the lyrics that moves you man. "Me and you girl," just works better in a song than "You and I girl."
Of course we can always count on NYU graduate Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Live to be real and un-uppity in an interview. I actually tweeted him about his "Him and me..." usage on some talk show. It was about two years ago now, but you just don't forget a thing like that when you hear it.
Even my own daughter, singer, actor, and comedienne, Bethany Therese posted a picture of Robin Williams and her in the green room when they performed in Mill Valley. It's the dream of every mother who has focused her life on language development to see a picture of her daughter and Robin Williams with the caption: "Me and Mr. Williams doing Hollywood faces...." I know, I know, it was a picture with the guy who received an Academy Award for his performance in "Good Will Hunting" and who was unforgettable in "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Dead Poet's Society," and a few other little flicks. But really, "Me and Mr. Williams...?" I really don't know what's absolutely correct for a picture. But even if the intention was to say "a picture OF me and Mr. Williams, can we please put Mr. Williams first even if he's to the right? I'm just sayin'....
All I can say is we need to stop acting all intellectual and educated. Maybe, in fact, we need to start speaking like all of our great country western songs. "I aint trying to forget you anymore." We know why song lyrics have to say ain't. It has one syllable and fits into the rhyme scheme of the rest of the song. What would it sound like if it were "I am not trying to forget you any more." So let's imitate the music lyrics and get real: "Me and Mrs. Jones have a thing going on."
I hope all my fellow writers and readers of this article will add their observations of "anti-uppity" usage (code word for anti-intellectual or anti-educated uses) of the objective case pronoun him, her, me as the subject of a sentence or the subjective pronouns I, she, he as the object of the sentence. It's only then that we can move forward toward a less educated sounding country.
Me and him (whomever him is) thank you for reading. Watch for other articles on the use of pronouns as the OBJECTS of prepositions which will be brought to you by he and I.
So "Me" and "Him" and "Her" Are Useless?
No, no, no, me and him are not useless. They function very well as OBJECTS - objects of actions, objects of prepositions, and so on.
Brian pinged me.
I'll text her right away.
This article was written by me, for her, about him, to you.
For more clarification, see links that are listed.
Links: How to Sound "All Educated" Help Is On the Way:
- When to Use Subject and Object Pronouns in a Sentence - Grammar Lesson
Need some practice with subject and object pronouns? Is "her and I" ever correct? What about after linking verbs? Are there exceptions to the rule?
- Grammar Mishaps: I vs. Me
What is correct grammar usage of "I" and "Me"? When should you use "I" and when should you use "me"? Let's find out!
A Quiz for You
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Side Note to English Teachers:
As you know this usage does not seem to be a problem for students learning English as a Second Language (ESL/EFL students). Hubpages has excellent articles on teaching ESL, one of the most comprehensive of which can be found at http://muttface.hubpages.com/
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© 2014 Billie Kelpin