- HubPages
*»* - Education and Science

# Mirthful Math

## Welcome to Mirthful Math

This light-hearted lens is devoted to mirthful musings about mathematics.

If truth be told, when I was growing up, arithmetic was completely alien to me (which is probably why I never figured out how to count my chickens before they hatched).

In a world where "size matters", especially when it comes to the size of one's bank account, the size of the elephant sitting in the living room that everyone is ignoring, or the size of the horrid monster hiding under one's bed, math comes in handy.

So without further ado, let's take a wee peek at the amusing side of arithmetic and algebra.

_____________

Image Credit: Math book cover illustration by Bill Mayer@flickr.com

## Making Sense of Statistics - Okay, what percentage of the population has a people personality?

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.

Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

_________________

Image Credit: Kenny Durkin illustration - durkinworks.blogspot.com/igor

Quote Credit: Rita Mae Brown

## "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions."

_____________

Evan Esar

## Remember What Einstein Said: - "Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count, really count."

Of course he's also the fellow who said:

"If 'A' is success in life, then 'A' equals 'x' plus 'y' plus 'z'.

Work is 'x'; 'y' is play; and 'z' is keeping your mouth shut."

## If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean one enjoys it?

-- Stephen Wright --

## IN A FRACTALLY-DEMENTED UNIVERSE - It isn't surprising that ...

"On the other hand, USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."

-- David Letterman, American comedian and late night TV talk show host

## Mirthful musings on the importance of mathematics in the grand scheme of things

______________

Image Credit: math symbols - summerland.school.nz/6_math_symbol_clipart.jpg

Content: selected quotes from Arthur Bloch's "The Complete Murphy's Law, A Definitive Collection", Price Stern Sloan, Los Angeles, California, 1991.

## "In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

Fran Lebowitz

## If figuring out all those numbers leaves you confused, you're definitely not alone!

________________

Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling, www.lastlemon.com/7851

## PYTHAGORAS

## On the importance of random numbers and really important statistics:

"The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79."

_______________

Douglas Adams, "Mostly Harmless", William Heinemann Ltd., London, England, 1992, p. 7

## Little Tommy wants to know if mermaid mathematicians wear algaebras?

"Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true."

_____________

Image Credit: Mathematical Mermaid - fabiosimple@flickr.com

Quote Credit: Bertrand Russell

## "A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's substraction."

______________

-- Mae West 1892-1980: Joseph Weintraub, "Peel Me a Grape" (1975) --

## Top 10 Math Major Pick-Up Lines

10. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus, and that's saying a lot!

9. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to exploit the multidimensional nature of the universe with you.

8. I've been awed by your continuous curves and conical projections, perhaps it's time we intersected?

7. Statistically speaking, we could make a mean pair of lovers.

6. I'm impressed with the magnitude of your perpendicular lines, so why don't we examine some horizontal and parallel options.

5. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.

4. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.

3. I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves.

2. I hope you know, I have a passion for posterior distribution.

1. Would you like to see my log?

_____________

Image Credit: math cartoon - mathforkidstories.com/mathematics-onilne10

Creative Content: http://www2.stetson.edu/~efriedma/mathhumor.html

## Something You Can Count On! - Clockwatchers and Number Crunchers will appreciation this one!

Now you can connect the dots, and countdown to your next important event!

## "There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else." - -- James Grover Thurber (1894 – 1961) American author and cartoonist.

______________

Image Credit: zookyworld.wordpress.com/safety-numbers1.gif

## Math Class Lies

## Every top dog knows that when it comes to finagling and finance, it's all a numbers game.

"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."

______________

Image Credit and Quote: Scott Adams, creator of "Dilbert" comic strip

## Cowpokes can count...but if you know what's best for you ...

"Never ask a man the size of his spread."

______________

Gladiola Montana - "A Cowgirl's Guide to Life"

## There is something alien if not amusing about arithmetic...

_____________

Image Credit: www.toonpool.com/user/2016/files alien_math_266885.jpg

## One scientist discovers the missing link between physiology and mathematics...

________________

Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon by Lisa Swerling & Ralph Lazar at vimrod.com

## "Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up."

_____________

-- James Magary --

## Trust a kid to come up with a crass answer!

________________

Image Credit: Charles Schulz Peanuts cartoon strip

## The Birthday Math Test for Grown-Ups

______________

Image Credit: Math cartoon - temptationgifts.com/EFU066-LG.jpg

## Math Made Easy Bookstore

If you love puzzles, games and oddities...this amusing book is right up your alley!

A great introduction to the mirthful side of math that will tickle people pink of any age.

An easy, painless and pleasurable introduction to the wonderful world of statistics.

Okay, so you flunked first grade paint by numbers, but here's your chance to graduate to the next level of ludicrous living -- don't worry be happy, or if you're angry, have you ever stopped to think whether you're ticked off to the second or third power, or just to the nth degree?

## OFFICE COFFEE = (COFFEE - GOOD) + UNWANTED CHITCHAT

Excerpt from "New Math Equations for Living"

## Painting By Numbers Poll

____________

Image Credit: Chud Tsankov Illustrations@flickr.com

## Did you ever take the urge to paint by numbers?

"Ten milligrams equals one centigram. Ten decigrams equals one gram. Ten grams equals one grampa."

"Keep going... I can hardly wait to see what comes next..."

_____________

Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1971-1972)

## Santa has been checking his list twice to find out whose been naughty and nice. - Truth is that Santa flunked his math exam and now uses his fingers to add and

________________

Image Credit: Santa list - frmheadtotoe.com/naughtynicelist

## MAHITABEL HATES MATH!

Mahitabel hates math which is why she counts on her fingers. She's also a humorous hand-puppet who can't keep her mouth shut. And, she's your best friend when when numbers are getting you down and you need to lighten up!

What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference?

-- Pumpkin Pi --