For my English Language course at sixth form i was asked to write a monologue to challenge or confirm a stereotype or accept representation. I needed to make sure that i created a credible, interesting and maybe a little far-fetched character which entertains and engages the reader. i'm half way through and i would like your feedback, to see if i have filled the criteria. Also, i cannot think of a title, suggestions will be appreciated, thank you. Be honest!
As he peels open his greedy eyelids, he stretches wildly and drags himself out of the unadorned single bed in the box bedroom. ‘This is going to be a trying day.’ The grey, drably decorated walls dripped with mould and damp and condensation lay along the window sill. Beige puddles stained the untamed carpet. He pulled his fingers through his matted, oily hair then rubbed the sickly rings around his devilish eyes.
Water splashed around the cold, white basin like the rough sea as he immersed his pale, ailing skin. With a jolt upright, frozen droplets travel down his thick, veiny neck, onto his obsessively muscular chest and absorbed the off-white, ordinary t-shirt. He groans as he rips it off and throws it aggressively into an already existing pile of dirty clothes; a stomach-churning stench fills the room.
The dreary ‘ding’ of the lift sounds as the crippled doors creeps open and he crawls aboard. Floor after floor, his brawny stomach fills more and more with dread and trepidation until, irrevocably, the lift stops. He stands there for just a moment, he strokes the small rip on his shirt controlling his self-consciousness, although covered by his navy suit jacket. ‘They will just know this is a disguise.’
He had the plan firmly embedded in his skull. How it would actually happen was something he didn’t want to consider, he just knew that it had to be done and that’s all that mattered to him that frozen, dewy morning.