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Social Skills 101

Updated on October 21, 2012

Develop your social skills and be more confident!!

Social Skills 101 has to do with creating and maintaining an excellent social life. A couple key components to do this include intelligent friends and positive company. This post is just a reflection of my personal experiences and what I have found to be true. Personal development is a passion of mine and I hope it becomes a passion of yours. Let's jump in.

A common mistake people make is they assume that having an outstanding social life means that one has to be an outgoing, extroverted type person. This is a complete fallacy. Those who are shy and introverted sometimes avoid social situations, true; however, when they inevitably do run into social situations, they can have an excellent experience too if they simply keep a few things in an open mind.

Like nearly everything in life, practice makes perfect right? Well, OK nothing is perfect, but you know what I mean. What many people don't realize is that they need practice in socializing. The concept of practicing socialization may seem odd but it is absolutely essential to having an extraordinary social life. Think about the people you know who are social "gods." These are the people that seem to have a certain charisma about them and they can easily talk to anyone. Well those same people are the ones that go out the most, are always hanging with friends, and so on. They have a lot of practice. Now think about the people you know that are slightly socially inept. They are awkward in public places, particularly when there is social interaction. Most of the time these are the people that are introverted and hardly ever get out of the house. They need more practice. The best practice come from having down-to-earth, intelligent conversations with your friends. Of course, it helps if you have intelligent friends...

Intelligent conversations include problem solving or debating, not just meaningless banter. The majority of our interactions with our close friends are centered around things in the near future, for example, what video game to play, who's on whose team in a pick up game, when and where the party tonight is, what class we have next, where to go eat, etc. Instead of this meaningless dribble, ask your smart friends to practice language and diction with you. Pick a problem and use critical thinking to solve it. Debate with your friends. Choose a controversial topic and take sides and then argue away. Then switch sides and come up with new points.This may seem odd at first but it can actually turn out as quite a fun experience and it drastically aids in your language and speaking skills. Consequently, mastering language and diction will astronomically help with your ability to speak to strangers and meet new people with confidence.

A saying I learned from a mentor goes like this, "Change your friends,or change your friends." This was profound to me at the time I heard this because I did have some friends that were overall negative and bringing me down. I realized I either had to get rid of them or take steps to get rid of their negativity. Some people will fight tooth and nail to stay in the same old comfortable, easy way of living but I dedicated myself to bigger and better things. We are a product of our environment so if we keep good company, our results, in turn, will reflect that. Hang around positive friends who encourage you and lift you up. Dispose of those in your life who wish to drag you down. (Side note: They say that your income is the average of the incomes of your 5 best friends. Who are you hanging around?)

By keeping positive company, you will automatically start to have more positivity yourself. In doing this you can gain confidence to go out and make the most out of every old and new relationship you have. The happier you are, the more likely you are to meet new people and open up socially. So stay positive and stay happy. That is all for now! Don't forget to check out Top 5 Tips for College-Bound Teens!

I welcome comments and constructive criticism. Please nothing negative or the comment will be deleted.



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