Are they unrealistic?
There are/can be many disapointments in life and sometimes they can't be avoided. Living up to what we expect is a big one. Whether it be in someone else or in ourselves. Our expectations can be "too high" unreasonable or unrealistic. No one is perfect nor can they be in this crazy world.
Sometimes we expect more from a person than they are able to give..at a particular time. Sometimes we expect a person to do more than they are capable of doing, or to be more than they are capable of being. Therefore we are the ones who wind up getting frustrated, angry, hurt, impatient and disapointed. We are the ones effected by our own actions. We are the ones who set ourselves up for disapointments.
Sometimes our approach can be critical, overbearing and destructive. Even when we simply suggest something or give an opinion it does'nt go over well. It can be viewed as an attack on ones charactor even tho that was not the intention. This should never be taken personally because we all have things we are trying to cope with from our past and present situations and we shut down.
Even when we simply try to point something out to someone they can go into the defend mode, protective mode because they are not ready to deal with "the problem" yet. They are still battling with it therefore they are consumed by it and it has power over their well being. Everyone needs to be comfortable in their own skin. Like no body states in one of my comments below..it must be the right message, from the right source, at the right time, by the right person (edified properly) or it will not be received in the way it was intended to be received. Otherwise it can be misinterpreted.
Our expectations, opinions and suggestions can sometimes be veiwed as attacks on self worth and competency. Therefore conflict, separation and alienation occures and the door is shut on communication. Then our relationships are compromised. I watched Charles Stanley's program last Sunday and he ministered on how "Words" can have a profound, everlasting effect on us and our well being, our growth and our lives. They can have a tremendous effect and sometimes we say things we later regret.
No one can live up to any"one's" standards. It's not that what everyone is doing is right or that we don't have a big heart in wanting whats best for them, it's just that our expectations may be overwelming.
A lot of people feel like failures because they can't live up to the expectations they put on themselves or that others put on them. We can make others feel like failures because of our expections being "To high"> Expecting too much. Too much attention can be put on expectations and not on acheivements/accomplishments.
Did you know that if more time was put on validating acheivements that more expectations might be met? Whether it be someone elses acheivements or our own. We need to validate to communicate! If we spent more time appreciating than critisizing someone they might feel more abt to expect/acheive more from/of themselves. Did you ever consider that we may be the very ones who are halting their progress as well as our own in the way we come across? Sometimes our approach can be benificial or it can be life threatening. Meaning destructive to one's growth and well being.
No one is exactly where we are in life. No two are equal in progress nor should they be expected to be. We all arive at our destination at differant times in differant ways. Kindness can accomplish more than critisism. So few realize this. If we spent more time building someone up, more things might get accomplished, Therefore everyone would be happier. So what should we expect from someone? To be the best that "They" can be.