When Life Gives You Lemons
Welcome to When Life Gives You Lemons!
This lens is all about squeezing the most out of life ... so lighten up sourpuss!
Our role as lemon lovers of the world is to pass along a bit of wit, whimsy and wisdom while you try to figure out what to do with all that citrus fruit that just landed unexpectedly in your lap.
If all else fails, when life gives you lemons, find someone with a bottle of vodka, throw a party, and for goodness sake invite me!
Image Credit: Whimsy Studios at flickr.com
Forget about cherries!
What do you do when life gives you lemons?
When life gives me lemons:
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAYBE YOU NEED A SQUEEZE FROM THE LEMON FAIRY! (Image credit: firstname.lastname@example.org)
"When life gives you lemons -- squeeze'em for all they're worth!"
Image Credit: email@example.com
LAUGHABLE LINKS TO ALL THINGS LEMON
- LEMON TREE LYRICS
If you have a hankering for all things happy and hippie, you might want to sing along with Peter, Paul and Mary again!
- ALL YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT LEMONS
All you wanted to know about lemons but never dared to ask you silly sourpuss!
- LULULEMON LOVERS
Those who love fitness and yoga will rock their socks off with this attire!
- LEMON-GROVE HERE WE COME!
Stop snivelling about all those lemons and hang out with folks who love them!
- LEMON CREEK LODGE WHERE YOU WON'T FIND A LEMON IN SIGHT!
Alright, so you don't want to see another lemon, the very least you can do is stay at Lemon Creek Lodge in Beautiful British Columbia and feed the bears, beavers and blue jays!
- LEMON LADIES
No they're not ladies of the night, they find owners for purebred beagles.
- LEMON FLOWER
"The" place to go for all things lemon...both edible and some not!
- LEMON FEST - PUT ON YOUR DANCING SHOES
"Lemon Fest" where people squeeze the most out of life they can from citrus lovers naturally!
- BECOME A 'LEMON LEADER'
Bet you didn't know that LEMONS are: Luminaries, Entrepreneurs, Managers, Organizers, and Networkers!
- MAKE LEMONADE!
Can't figure out what to do with all those little lemons...worry no more, because this lens has the best lemonade recipe in town!
DON'T BE A SOURPUSS...
Image Credit: Guacamole Goalie@flickr.com
LOW-DOWN ON LEMON JUICE
"Lemon juice, an important ingredient in Bloody Marys and other forms of liquid breakfast. Makes fish taste as if it was grown on trees. And improves, immensely, the taste of lemons."
-- P.J. O'Rourke, (1993), "The Bachelor Home companion. A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig"
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS...HERE'S WHAT YOU DO!
When life gives you lemons, quit whining and do something!
And if you don't know what to do, there are more than 900,000 web pages devoted to the topic, "When life gives you lemons..."!
1. Eat them. (How do you know until you've tried...that's what your mother always told you!)
2. Make lemonade. (Well that's a no brainer, but you might have to find a decent recipe if you want to do this from scratch!)
3. Keep the seeds and grow them in a container. (Lemon balm plants behave well if they're watered, live in the shade and are talked to nicely every day.)
4. Sell them on eBay. (Yup, you can flog all the lemons you want 24/7 in this virtual flea market).
5. Become a lemon consultant and offer advice on how to avoid buying a lemon. (That way you can unload your lemons as bad examples and people will actually pay you to take away their pain.)
6. Get a cooler, a bag of ice, and 12-packs of Juicy Juice. (That should be enough for a blowout block party!)
7. Make grape juice. (Sit back and smile while the world wonders how you did that.)
8. Add vodka. (Alright, if you're not into cocktails, how about a low calorie, no fat flavored Shirly Temple with a twist of citrus?)
9. Think "limoncello" or real "Lemony Snicket"
10. Serve them with barbecued beef tenderloin filets, (it will keep the flies away).
And, as a last resort, you know you can always demand a refund. Better yet, why not set up a social network of like-minded lacklustre lemon lovers to prepare a class action "sourposs suit" against the manufacturer of your dreadful dud! (This is great way to spend time if you have the patience of Job and a lemon-loving litigator who's willing to take this on 'pro bono').
A LITTLE PICK-ME UP FROM "LEMON LIBRARY"!
A bedtime book with colorful cutouts for the lemon-challenged.
Recommended by the Sourpuss & Sad Sack Society of America.
When the world is weary, it's time we heard from a wisdom-loving wench for a change!
Crappy car owners can probably relate to this one.
For those who haven't got a clue how to cook...or what to do with all those damn lemons!
TRY A NEW FRUIT FOR FUN
When life gives you lemons, why would you want to make lemonade? Try some delicious sweet fruit for a change. Now orange you feeling better already?
WHO'S "LEMONY SNICKET"?
- LEMONY SNICKET WAS BORN BEFORE YOU WERE!
And, he's likely to die before you as well.
- YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE TO LEMONY SNICKET?
Yes, for all you wiki-lovers, here is a third party report on the whereabouts of one 'Lemony Snicket'.
- GOOD GOD THEY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT HIM?
Here's the teaser trailer to the Lemony Snicket movie entitled, "A Series of Unfortunate Events" (2004).
- LEMONY SNICKET STUFF & SUCH
All many of mirth mirchandise for Lemony Snicket lovers.
- LEMONY SNICKET REVIEWS
A nice compendium of L.S. reviews for those who need to know more about the life of this elusive and illustrious character.
LEARN FROM THE MASTER OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS - LEMONY SNICKET!
When you can't get enough of a bad thing!
Simply superb if you're keen on learning all about "bitter truths you can't avoid".
A sing-a-long for sad sacks with such popular songs as, "Scream and Run Away", and "Smile! No One Cares How You Feel"
A puckish personality like Lemony Snicket deserves his very own delightfully devious dust jacket doesn't he?
SO YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS?
So you think you've got problems, wait until you see who's beat you hands down!
Here's just a short list of unfortuate events that can befall an abtruse, bizarre and cockamammie character like "Lemony Snicket".
1. A bad beginning...where else does a tortuous tale start with some Beaudelaire orphans?
2. A reptile room, a murder and oodles of gothic gargoyles.
3. A wide window, and an odd character who's afraid of radiators exploding (that's why she doesn't heat the house), eats cold cumcumber soup (because she's afraid of the stove), and won't answer the telephone because of the potential danger of electrocution.
4. A vile village.
5. A hostile hospital.
6. A carnivorous carnival.
7. A slippery slope.
8. An ersatz elevator.
9. A miserable mill.
10. An austere academy.
11. Grim Grotto.
12. Penultimate Peril.
Frankly with a list like that, it's no wonder his name is "Lemony Snicket" and he keeps a very low profile!
Insert illustration of Lemony Snicket by Brett Helquist.
AND NOW A WORD FROM "THE LEMON TREE"!
ORANGES AND LEMONS ...WHICH ARE YOU?
"Happiness is always a by-product.
It is probably a matter of temperament, and for all I know it may be glandular.
But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."
-- Robertson Davies --
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE FRIGGING FRUIT OF LIFE?
When life gives you Lemons at this time of year, what do you do? - Become a Sourpuss Santa - that's what!
Image Credit: media.giantbomb.com - 1636384
Lemony Snicket suggests the perfect gifts for the sour-pusses in your life!
This is the key to having a successful sour-puss holiday!
The perfect gift for those who've been very naughty!
Something to lighten up the lemon lad or lady in your life.
If nothing else, this little gem will keep the fingers of sourpusses busy and their minds engaged and definitely out of your hair!
Pathetic people & partridges know where to perch for the holiday season!
WIT AND WISDOM FROM A WENCH WITH ATTITUDE!
When the world's awash in "bad hair days", "bad news days", and "bad dudes doing bad stuff", it's nice to know that there's a Moxie Maven of Mirth named "Maxine" at our fingertips!
So, if things are getting you down, and you want to quit the rat race, just pick up a greeting card or two and hand them out anonymously...that way you'll spread a bit of good cheer everyday and who knows it might even lighten your spirits!
And if all else fails gals, remember what "Maxine" says:
"While life hands you lemons...tuck'em in your bra. Couldn't hurt, might help."