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When Life Gives You Lemons

Updated on January 2, 2013

Welcome to When Life Gives You Lemons!

This lens is all about squeezing the most out of life ... so lighten up sourpuss!

Our role as lemon lovers of the world is to pass along a bit of wit, whimsy and wisdom while you try to figure out what to do with all that citrus fruit that just landed unexpectedly in your lap.

If all else fails, when life gives you lemons, find someone with a bottle of vodka, throw a party, and for goodness sake invite me!

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Image Credit: Whimsy Studios at flickr.com

Forget about cherries!

Forget about cherries!
Forget about cherries!

What do you do when life gives you lemons?

When life gives me lemons:

See results

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAYBE YOU NEED A SQUEEZE FROM THE LEMON FAIRY! (Image credit: bigdecsphotos@flickr.com)

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAYBE YOU NEED A SQUEEZE FROM THE LEMON FAIRY! (Image credit: bigdecsphotos@flickr.com)
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAYBE YOU NEED A SQUEEZE FROM THE LEMON FAIRY! (Image credit: bigdecsphotos@flickr.com)

"When life gives you lemons -- squeeze'em for all they're worth!"

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Image Credit: lildebi@flickr.com

DON'T BE A SOURPUSS...

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Image Credit: Guacamole Goalie@flickr.com

LOW-DOWN ON LEMON JUICE

"Lemon juice, an important ingredient in Bloody Marys and other forms of liquid breakfast. Makes fish taste as if it was grown on trees. And improves, immensely, the taste of lemons."

-- P.J. O'Rourke, (1993), "The Bachelor Home companion. A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig"

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS...HERE'S WHAT YOU DO!

When life gives you lemons, quit whining and do something!

And if you don't know what to do, there are more than 900,000 web pages devoted to the topic, "When life gives you lemons..."!

1. Eat them. (How do you know until you've tried...that's what your mother always told you!)

2. Make lemonade. (Well that's a no brainer, but you might have to find a decent recipe if you want to do this from scratch!)

3. Keep the seeds and grow them in a container. (Lemon balm plants behave well if they're watered, live in the shade and are talked to nicely every day.)

4. Sell them on eBay. (Yup, you can flog all the lemons you want 24/7 in this virtual flea market).

5. Become a lemon consultant and offer advice on how to avoid buying a lemon. (That way you can unload your lemons as bad examples and people will actually pay you to take away their pain.)

6. Get a cooler, a bag of ice, and 12-packs of Juicy Juice. (That should be enough for a blowout block party!)

7. Make grape juice. (Sit back and smile while the world wonders how you did that.)

8. Add vodka. (Alright, if you're not into cocktails, how about a low calorie, no fat flavored Shirly Temple with a twist of citrus?)

9. Think "limoncello" or real "Lemony Snicket"

10. Serve them with barbecued beef tenderloin filets, (it will keep the flies away).

And, as a last resort, you know you can always demand a refund. Better yet, why not set up a social network of like-minded lacklustre lemon lovers to prepare a class action "sourposs suit" against the manufacturer of your dreadful dud! (This is great way to spend time if you have the patience of Job and a lemon-loving litigator who's willing to take this on 'pro bono').

A LITTLE PICK-ME UP FROM "LEMON LIBRARY"!

Lemons Are Not Red (Ala Notable Book(Awards)) (Neal Porter Books)
Lemons Are Not Red (Ala Notable Book(Awards)) (Neal Porter Books)

A bedtime book with colorful cutouts for the lemon-challenged.

 
When Life Gives You Lemons: Remarkable Stories of People Overcoming Adversity
When Life Gives You Lemons: Remarkable Stories of People Overcoming Adversity

Recommended by the Sourpuss & Sad Sack Society of America.

 
Hot Lemon and Honey
Hot Lemon and Honey

When the world is weary, it's time we heard from a wisdom-loving wench for a change!

 
Lemon!: Sixty Heroic Automotive Failures
Lemon!: Sixty Heroic Automotive Failures

Crappy car owners can probably relate to this one.

 
The Lemon & Lime Cookbook
The Lemon & Lime Cookbook

For those who haven't got a clue how to cook...or what to do with all those damn lemons!

 

TRY A NEW FRUIT FOR FUN

When life gives you lemons, why would you want to make lemonade? Try some delicious sweet fruit for a change. Now orange you feeling better already?

LEARN FROM THE MASTER OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS - LEMONY SNICKET!

Horseradish
Horseradish

Simply superb if you're keen on learning all about "bitter truths you can't avoid".

 
The Tragic Treasury: Songs From a Series of Unfortunate Events
The Tragic Treasury: Songs From a Series of Unfortunate Events

A sing-a-long for sad sacks with such popular songs as, "Scream and Run Away", and "Smile! No One Cares How You Feel"

 
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

A puckish personality like Lemony Snicket deserves his very own delightfully devious dust jacket doesn't he?

 

SO YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS?

So you think you've got problems, wait until you see who's beat you hands down!

Here's just a short list of unfortuate events that can befall an abtruse, bizarre and cockamammie character like "Lemony Snicket".

1. A bad beginning...where else does a tortuous tale start with some Beaudelaire orphans?

2. A reptile room, a murder and oodles of gothic gargoyles.

3. A wide window, and an odd character who's afraid of radiators exploding (that's why she doesn't heat the house), eats cold cumcumber soup (because she's afraid of the stove), and won't answer the telephone because of the potential danger of electrocution.

4. A vile village.

5. A hostile hospital.

6. A carnivorous carnival.

7. A slippery slope.

8. An ersatz elevator.

9. A miserable mill.

10. An austere academy.

11. Grim Grotto.

12. Penultimate Peril.

Frankly with a list like that, it's no wonder his name is "Lemony Snicket" and he keeps a very low profile!

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Insert illustration of Lemony Snicket by Brett Helquist.

AND NOW A WORD FROM "THE LEMON TREE"!

ORANGES AND LEMONS ...WHICH ARE YOU?

"Happiness is always a by-product.

It is probably a matter of temperament, and for all I know it may be glandular.

But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."

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-- Robertson Davies --

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE FRIGGING FRUIT OF LIFE?

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When life gives you Lemons at this time of year, what do you do? - Become a Sourpuss Santa - that's what!

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Image Credit: media.giantbomb.com - 1636384

Lemony Snicket suggests the perfect gifts for the sour-pusses in your life!

The Lump of Coal
The Lump of Coal

This is the key to having a successful sour-puss holiday!

 
Lump of Coal Costume Accessory
Lump of Coal Costume Accessory

The perfect gift for those who've been very naughty!

 
Santa's Lump of Coal Christmas Soap
Santa's Lump of Coal Christmas Soap

It's time for the sour-pusses of the world to clean up their act!

 
Funny Face Lefty Lemon - Fond Memories Home Decor Accent Pillow
Funny Face Lefty Lemon - Fond Memories Home Decor Accent Pillow

Something to lighten up the lemon lad or lady in your life.

 
Magnetic Poetry - Little Box of Obscenities Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA
Magnetic Poetry - Little Box of Obscenities Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA

If nothing else, this little gem will keep the fingers of sourpusses busy and their minds engaged and definitely out of your hair!

 

Pathetic people & partridges know where to perch for the holiday season!

WIT AND WISDOM FROM A WENCH WITH ATTITUDE!

When the world's awash in "bad hair days", "bad news days", and "bad dudes doing bad stuff", it's nice to know that there's a Moxie Maven of Mirth named "Maxine" at our fingertips!

So, if things are getting you down, and you want to quit the rat race, just pick up a greeting card or two and hand them out anonymously...that way you'll spread a bit of good cheer everyday and who knows it might even lighten your spirits!

And if all else fails gals, remember what "Maxine" says:

"While life hands you lemons...tuck'em in your bra. Couldn't hurt, might help."

FUN & FEEDBACK FROM LEMON LOVERS - An opportunity to share your wit and wisdom with those who know how to have fun with lemons!

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    • Carashops profile image

      Cara 5 years ago

      Your lens made me smile.

    • Countryluthier profile image

      E L Seaton 5 years ago from Virginia

      I can say, No sour taste in this Squids mouth after tasting this lens.Great googly moogly, you know how to deal with nattering negtivity. Keep up the good work!

    • siobhanryan profile image

      siobhanryan 5 years ago

      Really good lens-

    • profile image

      crstnblue 5 years ago

      Wonderful lens on a triggering topic. Glad to find it at right moment! : ))

    • Lemming13 profile image

      Lemming13 5 years ago

      Personally I go with Cave Johnson - make exploding lemons. Great lens.

    • TIRMassageStone1 profile image

      TIRMassageStone1 6 years ago

      I never knew lemons could be so fun. I appreciate the metaphors.

    • smithlights profile image

      smithlights 6 years ago

      Clever lens! Thanks!

    • Sweet2Spicy profile image

      Sweet2Spicy 6 years ago

      Another fun and entertaining lens! I've just started here on Squidoo and am amazed at the huge variety of wonderful topics you write about.

    • profile image

      eliminatethefruitflies 6 years ago

      Made me laugh, excellent lens :)

    • MamaBelle profile image

      Francis Luxford 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Love it, great Lens made me Smile.

    • Kailua-KonaGirl profile image

      June Parker 6 years ago from New York

      I so love your sense of humor! Another fabulous lens. Maxine is my favorite in cards. I always look for her first and buy a bunch. And BTW I have the vodka and you're invited!

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 6 years ago from New York City

      Being an "Optimism Junkie," actually the originator, I loved this lens.

      Beautiful, yellow lemoncello. Until you wander through Sorrento, with lemons of all sizes on sales, and get drunk all all the free samples, you can't possibly have fully appreciated the greatness of lemons. Thanks. Cool stuff!

    • Vipbooks LM profile image

      Vipbooks LM 6 years ago

      Here are the only two living smart

      quotes with "lemon" in them that I can contribute and which come from my "Sensational Quotes about Food for Smart People" Website:

      Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.

      - Alice May Brock

      I'll take a lemonade â in a dirty glass!

      - Bob Hope in 1946 film "Road to Utopia"

      Ernie J. Zelinski

      Author of New Retirement Book How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free

      (Over 125,000 copies sold and published in 9 languages)

      and The Joy of Not Working

      (Over 250,000 copies sold and published in 17 languages)

    • profile image

      scar4 6 years ago

      I love that saying " When life gives me lemons, I chuck them back and say I wanted oranges!" it's truly cute.

    • howtocurecancer profile image

      howtocurecancer 6 years ago

      Blessed by a SquidAngel.

    • Mickie Gee profile image

      Mickie Goad 6 years ago

      Wow. I had forgotten about the "Lemon Tree" song. Think I will go and have a lemoncello martini and try to forget that I am old enough to remember it. Now, wait, I guess I should be happy that I am still around to do any remembering!

    • guyfarmer profile image

      guyfarmer 6 years ago

      Thanks for the fun ideas. When life gives me lemons I thank it for giving me lemons. After all, how else would I know what joy is if there weren't a few proverbial lemons along the way? It's really gratifying that we can do so much with our lives by simply shifting our perspective a little bit. Lemons can become wonderful things. www.guyfarmer.com

    • profile image

      Obscure_Treasures 7 years ago

      Awesome lens, love the great ideas,Fantastic selection

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

    • jolou profile image

      jolou 7 years ago

      Great idea for a lens. Well done.

    • DeboraR profile image

      DeboraR 7 years ago

      Great lemon lens! I've just done a lens on lemons and will lensroll yours to mine.

    • profile image

      sunnystar 8 years ago

      Great stuff!

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Alex's Lemonade Stand Supports Pediatric Cancer Research

      Body: http://www.alexslemonade.org/home

      http://www.elyseryan.com/jewelry_alex.shtml

      We still miss you Alex...you are amazing!!!

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      When life gives you lemons

      read LEMON Leadership !!

      http://inst.net/publications.html

    • lollyj lm profile image

      Laurel Johnson 8 years ago from Washington KS

      As a lifelong consumer of lemons, I learned early to make lemonade and other goodies from the abundance. GREAT STUFF here. Loved it. 5-fave

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Your good at this...ah I see your'e a giant. :-)

    • dahlia369 profile image

      dahlia369 8 years ago

      I love lemons - but prefer them in lemonade or salad dressing... :) Awesome lens, 5*, faves & Technorati for you - and welcome to http://www.squidoo.com/groups/people-behaviour

    • TonyPayne profile image

      Tony Payne 9 years ago from Southampton, UK

      When faced with a deep problem which his assistant could not answer, Holmes would retort... "A Lemon Tree My Dear Watson". 5***** for a very nice original lens.

    • eccles1 profile image

      eccles1 9 years ago

      Lemons are good yes they are great lens

    • Christene-S profile image

      Christene-S 10 years ago

      Blessed by a SquidAngel

      (and rolled at LensRoll.com)