ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

10 Things That I Wish I HAD NOT Said to The TV Tough Guy I Met in an Alleyway

Updated on October 30, 2014
Tom Berenger
Tom Berenger
James Coburn
James Coburn

What a moment of complete horror

That I remember well. I was wandering around New York City about 12:30 a.m., one Friday morning after watching a cheap movie in a cheaper movie theater, and I was just kiling time before I went back to my hotel for a good night's sleep.

I hated the long walk I was to make, so I spotted a great short-cut, the alleyway up ahead. And with great anticipation, I took to the alleyway to save myself a few valuable steps.

Then I ran into something or someone, at the moment, I was dazed and didn't know what it was. Turns out it was one of these "Television Tough Guys," and he did not look the least bit happy at my clumsiness. Fact is, he drew back his right fist and I knew that I was going to get a beating.

But he hesitated for a moment. He looked sympathetic. "I am going to give you a break. If you can answer this question, I will let you go free," he said with a snarl.

I agreed to answer his question. Just how hard could it be? I thought to myself. He snarled again and said . . . "What have you to say for your stumbling into me, fool?"

I must have been scared, because there must have been

Charles Bronson
Charles Bronson

10 Things I Wish I HAD NOT Said to The TV Tough Guy Whom I Met in The Alleyway

  1. "Are you the famous Pee Wee Herman?"
  2. "Sorry, miss."
  3. "Hey, you are that, uhhh, yeah. Ethel Merman."
  4. "I know you. You are the voice of Mr. Ed."
  5. "How does it feel to be Michael Douglas' understudy?"
  6. "Oh, yeah. You were Lassie's stunt-double!"
  7. "I am so sorry that your career is now washed-up."
  8. "You can always sell apples door-to-door."
  9. "If you hit me, you will be thought of as a rough-neck."
  10. "Are you a television wrestler?"

This "shorter hub" thing does have a great upside. I feel like a cup of coffee and a nap.

Oh, hello to, Catgypsy and Arachnea.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Thank you, good friend. I will do my best. Pray for me.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dearest sheilamyers,

      Oh, you bet we have this in common. I hate this of people, or jerks, to hurt a child or defenseless person. Or make fun or purposely-hurt a mentally-challenged person.

      The old saying, "There is a special place in Hell for people like this" is so true.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 

      4 years ago from Hawaii

      Keep it up, Kenneth!

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      kenneth: Yet another thing we have in common. I don't like even thinking about fighting, but if someone is about to hurt a friend or family member, I'm going to jump right in. Also, if someone is going to hurt someone who can't defend themselves like a kid or an elderly person.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear sheilamyers,

      You are so right, dear friend. But seriously, any of these guys who are alive, could beat me to a pulp just by glaring at me.

      For I am not a fighter unless I see a jerk messing with my friends who are minding their business.

      Have a peaceful night and thank you for the nice comment.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Funny! You always come up with the funniest things to say or not say to people. But I guess there is a real lesson in this hub. Never go down a dark alley to take a shortcut.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)