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10 Things That I Wish I HAD NOT Said to The TV Tough Guy I Met in an Alleyway

Updated on October 30, 2014
Tom Berenger
Tom Berenger
James Coburn
James Coburn

What a moment of complete horror

That I remember well. I was wandering around New York City about 12:30 a.m., one Friday morning after watching a cheap movie in a cheaper movie theater, and I was just kiling time before I went back to my hotel for a good night's sleep.

I hated the long walk I was to make, so I spotted a great short-cut, the alleyway up ahead. And with great anticipation, I took to the alleyway to save myself a few valuable steps.

Then I ran into something or someone, at the moment, I was dazed and didn't know what it was. Turns out it was one of these "Television Tough Guys," and he did not look the least bit happy at my clumsiness. Fact is, he drew back his right fist and I knew that I was going to get a beating.

But he hesitated for a moment. He looked sympathetic. "I am going to give you a break. If you can answer this question, I will let you go free," he said with a snarl.

I agreed to answer his question. Just how hard could it be? I thought to myself. He snarled again and said . . . "What have you to say for your stumbling into me, fool?"

I must have been scared, because there must have been

"Bogie"
"Bogie"
Charles Bronson
Charles Bronson

10 Things I Wish I HAD NOT Said to The TV Tough Guy Whom I Met in The Alleyway

  1. "Are you the famous Pee Wee Herman?"
  2. "Sorry, miss."
  3. "Hey, you are that, uhhh, yeah. Ethel Merman."
  4. "I know you. You are the voice of Mr. Ed."
  5. "How does it feel to be Michael Douglas' understudy?"
  6. "Oh, yeah. You were Lassie's stunt-double!"
  7. "I am so sorry that your career is now washed-up."
  8. "You can always sell apples door-to-door."
  9. "If you hit me, you will be thought of as a rough-neck."
  10. "Are you a television wrestler?"

This "shorter hub" thing does have a great upside. I feel like a cup of coffee and a nap.

Oh, hello to, Catgypsy and Arachnea.

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    • profile image

      sheilamyers 2 years ago

      Funny! You always come up with the funniest things to say or not say to people. But I guess there is a real lesson in this hub. Never go down a dark alley to take a shortcut.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear sheilamyers,

      You are so right, dear friend. But seriously, any of these guys who are alive, could beat me to a pulp just by glaring at me.

      For I am not a fighter unless I see a jerk messing with my friends who are minding their business.

      Have a peaceful night and thank you for the nice comment.

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 2 years ago

      kenneth: Yet another thing we have in common. I don't like even thinking about fighting, but if someone is about to hurt a friend or family member, I'm going to jump right in. Also, if someone is going to hurt someone who can't defend themselves like a kid or an elderly person.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

      Keep it up, Kenneth!

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dearest sheilamyers,

      Oh, you bet we have this in common. I hate this of people, or jerks, to hurt a child or defenseless person. Or make fun or purposely-hurt a mentally-challenged person.

      The old saying, "There is a special place in Hell for people like this" is so true.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      vkwok,

      Thank you, good friend. I will do my best. Pray for me.

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