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10 Things Osama Bin Laden Will Never Get

Updated on May 7, 2011

1. One minute silence

No one I know is going to give him the well known one minute silence as a mark of honor or remembrance. No one is going to delay the kick off of any football match by one minute in a moment of silence for him anywhere in the world. Reason why? He simply doesn’t deserve it!

2. Justice in the court

Had it been that the man Osama bin Laden was not shot to dead according to news reports, he would have had the chance to receive ‘justice’ in the court, no matter how ridiculous that may sound. But that didn’t happen. Seriously speaking, I was kind of looking forward to see the man clothed in one of those orange overalls that is usually associated with occupants of Guantanamo Bay after he must have received a ‘fair’ trail in the court but like you now know, it didn’t happen…

3. Our collective mercy

Not that he deserved it but then he was still a human being. Under my decent African upbringing, people are normally not supposed to speak ill of the dead but I beg to differ in this case. The news that the man Osama is finally gone met with such a huge jubilation amongst many people all over the world. Somehow, many people are already equating the news of his demise with the end of terrorism in the world!

4. Rest in peace prayers

If he doesn’t get our mercy that means he is not getting the usual rest in peace prayers too. What type of peace are we even referring to concerning this man whose idea of peace is by killing other people? Methinks it will be better if we just say may he rest in pieces!

5. Nine virgins or something like that…

I just wonder how shocked, surprised and disappointed the man Osama will be when he probably wakes up in wherever he might be and lo and behold he doesn’t find his nine sweet virgins awaiting him. What happened? Why? That may be the right time for the angels in heaven to remind him that he didn’t actually die a martyr. He didn’t blow himself up even though he was sending some people to do that for him. He was hiding in the caves and running away from the ghosts of his past for almost ten years and as such there is always a price tag which means no automatic virgins for him. I believe he will start to protest saying that it is not fair after all he has done but that will be the right time for these angels to show him Saddam Hussein, who happens to be another strong defaulter, just to prove to him that there is no injustice in heaven…Hahaha!

6. Heaven

We can only talk of nine virgins for the bad guy if and only if Osama makes it to heaven but then is heaven no longer a place meant only for people who have done incredibly so well in their life on earth? Heaven is definitely not the place for someone who is reported to have called for the killing of Americans all over the world. With my own very little understanding, heaven is definitely not a place for someone who masterminded the murder of many innocent people on that fateful 11 September 2001 morning in New York. Seriously speaking, I don’t think heaven is certainly the place for Osama!

7. Hero’s burial

If he is someone’s hero, I wouldn’t know about it. Not that I even care. But one thing that I am sure he will never get is the hero’s burial. In fact, for all his notoriety and infamy, he will not even get the chance to be immortalized because report has it that he has already been buried in the sea to prevent his followers from making some sort of a ‘god’ out of him. Poor boy!

8. Another Chance

Come to think of it, Osama bin Laden’s death has denied the man and the whole world something very important. It has denied the man another chance to make amends for whatever wrongdoing he has done in the past and redeem his name if that was possible. But it has also denied the world the chance to hear Osama’s side of the whole horror story together with all the sordid details.

9. Nobel Peace Prize

How can? He wanted peace in the Middle East but his plans and ideas on how to bring this everlasting peace to the Middle East using his militant Al-Qaeda to cause great havoc never succeeded. He tried though but it just wasn’t the right formula…He has been struck down and now will his sheep scatter and disappear in eternal confusion!

10. You...definitely

Oh yes, his plans for your complete annihilation using suicide bombers and/or any other terroristic/destructive means didn’t work out. You are safe now. You can now go home. Rejoice and be glad because you survived the bad guy, bin Laden. I am talking to all of us who are hearing this news of his death today but most especially to the US led combatant forces stationed in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq. Please now is the best time to tell your respective governments that you are done. Let the world have a moment of peace now. It’s high time…


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    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 6 years ago from Nigeria

      ade are you sure? Are you sure it is not the spirit of osama that is carrying out all these boko haram bombings all over nigeria? Anyway, thanks for reading...