15 Things That "Jason Voorhees" Never Said or Done
AHHH, I REMEMBER IT WELL
I first met “Jason Voorhees,” in 1980. He was first seen as a small boy who everyone, including his mom, (Betsy Palmer), thought he drowned, but didn’t. Then out of a hidden, vengeful rage against his abusive dad, “Jason,” began his “Tour of Terror,” in the first Friday the 13th film.
First impressions are lasting impressions, it has been said. And my first impression of “Jason Voorhees,” was, “Holy Toldeo, Batman! What a huge man!” Of course I was younger and dumber back then, but my daughter of four fell hopelessly, helplessly in-love with this “being” from Hades. Honest with my butt sitting on the witness stand on a hot summer day in a rural courthouse in Fulton County, Ga.
A Bit About Jason . . .
Jason Voorhees is a fictional character from the Friday the 13th series. He first appeared in Friday the 13th (1980) as the young son of camp cook-turned-murderer, Mrs. Voorhees, in which he was portrayed by Ari Lehman. Created by Victor Miller, with contributions by Ron Kurz, Sean S. Cunningham, and Tom Savini, Jason was not originally intended to carry the series as the main antagonist. The character has subsequently been represented in various other media, including novels, comic books, and a cross-over film with another iconic horror film character, Freddy Krueger.
The character has primarily been an antagonist in the films, whether by stalking and killing the characters, or acting as a psychological threat to the lead character, as is the case in Friday the 13th: A New Beginning. Since Lehman's portrayal, the character has been represented by numerous actors and stuntmen, sometimes by more than one at a time; this has caused some controversy as to who should receive credit for the portrayal. Kane Hodder is the best known of the stuntmen to portray Jason Voorhees, having played the character in four consecutive films.
"JASON" WAS NO CARTOON BUNNY
I have to admit that although I was an adult, the sight of this stumbling creature wielding a machete and wearing (from his limited wardrobe), a gray jumpsuit or a green Army coat. Looking back, I though it very sissy that this non-stoppable “monster of mayhem,” would be forced to be a fashion-plate of the faddish 80’s. Baggy pleated pants. Remember actor, Don Johnson, “Miami Vice?” He wore a pair of baggy pleated pants in his video that went nowhere but down, “Heartbeat.” Even with Dweezil Zappa, Frank’s son, playing guitar, the video was not swallowed alive by the teenagers of that time.
But somehow, “Jason Voorhees,” was swallowed big time. Before long, his image was causing pre-teen and teenage screams of horror from every movie theater on the block as well as pre-teen’s and teenagers crawling into mother’s lap out of fear for this speechless demon who killed everything that was not nailed down in his Friday, The 13th films that were shown much-like the old-time serials of the “black and white” film area.
The writers and producers made “Jason” literally invincible and unstoppable. I mean, Superman had his kryptonite that made him weak, but not “Jason.” He took everything from gunshots to lightning bolts and still managed to keep coming back from wherever he went time and time again. What a guy. I wonder why his managers did not sign him up to one of the national health food chains that also sell dietary supplements for people wanting to be smaller and body builders who were wanting to be bigger and more buff for their body building contests.
The commercial opens with a proverbial 98-pound weakling, “Harold,” and his pretty girlfriend, “Missy,” minding their own business laying on a beach blanket hoping to “catch some rays.” Soon, a couple of muscle-bound bullies start picking on “Harold,” by kicking sand in his face and when that grew old, kicking “Harold” in the face. “Missy,” screams because “Harold,” is like a rag doll in their muscular hands.
Look for Dweezil in video below
The Men Behind Jason's Mask:
Friday the 13th:
Ari Lehman (child)
Friday the 13th Part 2:
Warrington Gillette (unmasked) & Steve Daskewisz (masked) & Ellen Lutter (one scene)
Friday the 13th Part 3:
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter:
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning:
Tom Morga (hallucination) Jason wasn't in this one, he was just a hallucination.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives:
C. J. Graham (most of the film) & Dan Bradley (Paintball sequence)
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood to Jason X:
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan: Kane Hodder and Timothy Burr Mirkovich (child)
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday: Kane Hodder
Freddy vs. Jason:
Ken Kirzinger & Spencer Stump (child)
Friday the 13th (2009): Derek Mears
Friday the 13th Part 2 (2010): Derek Mears
I THINK THAT "JASON" WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT FOR THE PART
With one final surge, the two muscled-goons slam “Harold,” head-first in the sand and leave him there to be ridiculed by the beach-goers. The main muscular bully winks at “Missy,” and being a hot girl, she looks at “Harold,” still positioned with his head in the sand, and then takes the bully’s hand and they walk off together.
That is until . . .”Harold,” slides all the way under the sand then then heavy music (like Jaws soundtrack) starts and we see “Harold,” who is really “Jason Voorhees,” slowly arise from the sand holding a huge jug of the product that gave him those huge muscles that now break-through his Army coat. “Missy,” looks back and when seeing “Harold,” she hits her new bully friend in the arm and he looks at this huge mass of evil walking toward him. Now of course “Jason,” cannot use his machete in the commercial, so he just takes the two bullies and “cleans their clocks,” and they faint from fear. When the commercial fades to black, we see “Harold’s” face on “Jason’s” body holding “Missy,” while winking at the camera.
The voice-over says . . .”Take Fortified Muscle-Meal from “Major Health Food Chain,” and never be bullied again.” Can you imagine how many “Harold’s” there are in America? Well, needless to say, this nameless health food store mops-up making “Jason” even more famous.
Sure, “Jason Voorhees,” killed, terrified, and gave the teens in those Friday the 13th films fits day and night, but with all of that being said and admitted to, I now present for your nostalgic movie pleasure . . .
15 Things That “Jason Voorhees” Never Said or Done
- “Jason Voorhees” never stopped to grab a “dog and a beer,” at the local food truck.
- He never broke through an innocent person’s apartment to “just” catch the evening news.
- He never said anything like, “Hey, anybody know how to get this stupid hockey mask off my face?”
- “Jason,” never stopped on the sidewalk while in New York and said, “Take my wife. Please.”
- “Jason,” never took one shower or had one manicure in the Friday the 13th films.
- “Voorhees,” never, and I mean never, did a graceful dance (on film) like The Commodores.
- He never tried to find out how many hero sandwiches he could eat at one sitting.
- Jason never yelled at his victims, “Why are ya’ running? I just wanted to get up a good game of street hockey!”
- “Hey, kid! Let’s arm wrestle. Loser gets killed.” Was never said by “Jason Voorhees.”
- “Jason” never took the time to shave with his razor-sharp machete.”
- “Jason Voorhees,” never said, “See if anyone can catch me,” and ran away in his films.
- He did not get one shoe-shine in any one of his Friday the 13th films.
- “Jason,” never tried to “pick-up” girls, but he did pick-up girls to toss across the room.
- “Jason,” never said to anyone, “I am going to stand in front of this truck and let it hit me. I will not get hurt.”
- “Voorhees,” was never seen sitting in a barber’s chair and motioning “a little off the top.”
And an extra “Jason Voorhees” fact:
- “Jason” never married any couple in his films due to him not being an ordained minister.
Question: “How many of you can guess what I am thinking right now?”