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20 Signs You Are Sitting Through The Worst Meeting Ever

Updated on April 9, 2013
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

Another retrofabulous work stock photo!
Another retrofabulous work stock photo! | Source

Oh, no! Another Meeting!

It's Monday morning and you are not ready to get out of bed. However, the alarm clock refuses to be ignored. You can no longer hit the snooze button. You've got to get out of bed to go to work. You roll out and get ready, only to remember you have a big company meeting. Geez, could the day get any worse? Actually, it can. You might just find yourself sitting through the worst meeting ever in the history of meetings.

We all know the feeling. No matter where you work or what you do, there is a point in which you are going to have to suffer through a meeting. It might just be a small office meeting. It could even be a huge conference meeting. Either way, you know if you work anywhere at all, you are going to have to deal with meetings occasionally. However, there are times when things take a turn for the worst. In case you are wondering, yes, I am happy to list the 20 signs you are sitting through the worst meeting ever.

The 20 Signs You Are Sitting Through the Worst Meeting Ever:

  1. Security guards stand outside the boardroom doors and make you go back in if you try to leave.
  2. Not only are a few people asleep, one person might actually be in a coma.
  3. You've been sitting in the meeting for 3 hours and not one single item on the agenda has been covered yet.
  4. The boss starts the meeting with a Powerpoint presentation about her new knitting project. Yes, there are photos included.
  5. Spitballs begin to fly every time one of the managers turns around to write on the whiteboard.
  6. The email invitation said there would be free lunch. It is 2 o'clock and the only food to eat is Cheetos.
  7. The managers start the meeting with the opening, "We've been working on making this meeting fun. We would like to begin with a funky rap about layoffs. Hit it!"
  8. There are pie charts.... lots and lots of pie charts. No one knows how to read them. Instead, everyone just decides they should order pie for lunch.
  9. The meeting started at 8 AM and you've been there for hours. Not only is it getting dark outside, the cleaning crew has come in. They begin to vacuum around everyone in the boardroom.
  10. The boss declares he's created a great new game called: Wheel of Blame. The loser gets fired.
  11. The first item on the agenda just simply states: Saturdays and Sundays - a missed opportunity to squeeze in more work hours.
  12. The CEO discusses how he would like to see the company go in a different direction. He would like to manufacture VCRs, CB radios, and 8 track players. He assures everyone these items are making a comeback.
  13. During the meeting, a fight breaks out over who ate the last donut. Eventually, a huge riot ensues.
  14. The manager says he must layoff at least 3 people by the end of the meeting. He asks everyone to compile a list of reasons why he is the greatest supervisor ever. He then makes each person read the lists out loud.
  15. Several people bring their children with them to the meeting. Everything was going fine until everyone at the meeting realized the kids had better ideas than anyone that actually worked at the company.
  16. During the meeting, the manager pulls out a sword and challenges everyone to a dual. The winners get raises. The losers get trips to the hospital.
  17. The boss announces this meeting is going to focus on better ways to hide money from the IRS.
  18. The meeting is a meeting about other meetings.
  19. When all else fails, a dance off begins on the boardroom table.
  20. The boss explains to everyone how she was worried the company was going under, she was terrified she would be forced to layoff everyone, but now, it seemed as if the company would be OK. Then she pauses and says, "Just kidding! Pack your stuff and go!"

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  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks so much! You are right... the lightsaber while work well if the dance off is not your thing. I would still really like to see a dance off at work though. ;-)

  • jpcmc profile image

    JP Carlos 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

    This is just a funny hub. I think I will take a go at # 16. I just need to check ebay for a lightsaber. I have better chances here than a dance off. :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Crystal Tatum - Sometimes I feel like every meeting gets progressively worse than the meeting before. Thanks for the comment!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    TToombs08 - You are so right. I want to get out as soon as I get the first opportunity. I just need to make it rich working online. :-) Thanks for the vote up!

    e-five - Wow, that sounds like a really bad morning. I can imagine that was a very unpleasant meeting. Thanks for sharing your story!

  • Crystal Tatum profile image

    Crystal Tatum 5 years ago from Georgia

    I have sat through many "worst meetings every." You are not alone!

  • e-five profile image

    John C Thomas 5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois, USA

    One morning back in 2002, I showed up at work and saw an unfamiliar woman-- in a room I'd never seen open before in two years working there-- sitting in a chair and nervously shredding documents. I knew I was in for a bad meeting that day.

  • TToombs08 profile image

    Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

    I do not miss being a productive member of the workforce OR all those horrific meetings. Thank you for reminding me how good I got it. :) Voted up and more!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Yes, I would love to switch to just freelance work and get away from office craziness, but I just can't make it happen financially. Thanks for the comment!

  • profile image

    KDuBarry03 5 years ago

    These are some of the primary reasons why I'm going into freelance writing...LOL this is absolutely hilarious and true, Jeannie...though the laying off part is not fun at all :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Alecia Murphy - Thanks for checking out my hub. I have literally sat through meetings about other meetings. As a matter of fact, one of the meetings was about how our other meetings were not productive enough. Sigh.

    teaches12345 - That is so sad that people really have had to endure some of these meetings. Ummm... pie chart... now I really do want pie. Thanks for the comment!

  • teaches12345 profile image

    Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

    I have been to a few of these in my lifetime. What a hoot. Love the pie chart reference... at least it was a productive meeting!

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    #7 is funny! Anything that includes a funky rap and layoffs is automatically horrendous. And #18 is the most ridiculous concept ever! Awesome hub!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Hahaha... I just wrote the "wouldn't it be wonderful to work at home" thing on my last comment to you. We are on the same page on this one. Thanks for the comment!

  • Efficient Admin profile image

    Efficient Admin 5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

    It's hard to sit in a meeting when the main speaker doesn't even speak English that well. To make it worse if the person is on a speaker phone calling from across the Atlantic and then you can hear even less.

    Wouldn't it be wonderful to work at home?

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Not that long ago, I literally sat in a meeting about other meetings. I just thought, wow. I can't believe this is my life. I need to make enough money online and I will never work full-time at an office again. Thanks for dropping by!

  • Movie Master profile image

    Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

    Hi Jeanne, companies seem to be obsessed with meetings these days.... I'm out of the rat race these days thank goodness.

    Your 20 signs are hilarious, in fact I wouldn't mind attending one of these meetings!!!

    Voted up/funny

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    If you do not have to sit through anymore lame meetings, you are soooooo lucky. I've just abuot had it with the rat race. Thanks for visiting my hub and thanks for the comment!

  • Ruchira profile image

    Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

    gosh...been there. yawn!!

    These days I skype from home for the meeting and am in my Pj's and browsing through facebook or hp ;)

    eternity knows no bounds for

    thanks for the reminder hub and helping me count my blessings :)

    voted up!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you both for your comments!

    Bill, I am glad you liked it. I was writing this one in my head during a 7 hour meeting on Monday. At least something good came out of it. :-)

    molometer - You are exactly right. I wasted 7 hours of my life at a meeting on Monday. The meeting was on finances, which is hilarious considering how much time and money was wasted that day. Thanks for reading!

  • molometer profile image

    molometer 5 years ago from United Kingdom

    I cannot believe what has happened to business?

    It used to be that you made something that people wanted.

    These training days are a complete farce! everyone hates them, you learn nothing and some twat gets paid a load of money.

    For what?

    Telling you what you knew already. I give up!

    Great hub and very interesting.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

    You are hilarious! Loved this hub, love your other hubs...keep writing young lady and I'll keep following.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Wow, the no bathroom breaks rule sounds really awful, but the getting to leave after the meeting is overrule sounds pretty good. I can imagine it really did cut down on the small talk. Thanks for sharing!

  • BizVT34 profile image

    BizVT34 5 years ago from USA

    Back in the day, I worked for a guy who only held meetings on Friday afternoons. He had two simple rules 1) no bathroom breaks 2) the day was over when the meeting ended. It was amazing how much we could get done in a short meeting.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Yes, it is such a terrible feeling. I am starting to reconsider whether a dance off is a sign of a bad meeting. It actually might indicate it is the most awesome meeting ever. I will give that one some though. Thanks for the votes!

  • weestro profile image

    Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

    That is the worst feeling, waking up and knowing you have a meeting to attend...ugh. I like all of your signs, and I would love to see a danceoff with MY coworkers! Voted up, funny and awesome!