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5 Reasons 2012 will be the LAST year; This is the end.

Updated on February 5, 2012

A dude on a chariot-looking thing. Obviously one of the four horsemen.

One of my co-workers assures me it's the end

After having survived the Rapture twice in 2011 (and my wife has the t-shirt to prove it), we should all count ourselves lucky that we got a 1 year extension of the planet's existence.

All of the following reasons could be facts. In fact, they have to be facts. They're written by someone who isn't you. They're on the Internet. Obviously they're reliable. Someone told you they were.

1. Rome was founded in 753 BC. That makes 2012 the year 2765 AUC. 2765 in Roman Numerals is MMDCCLXV. 2012 is MMXII. If we delete the duplicated letters, it leaves DCCLVII. This is an anagram for Clivid. I'm sure that if someone named Clivid is elected president of the United States in 2012, it will cause the end of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

2. 4004 BC is one of the agreed upon dates for the founding of this planet. 4004 + 2012 = 6016. A quick search online reveals that 6016 is the number of a Legoland brick set of a little dude on a chariot. The four horsemen of the apocalypse have horses and come from the ancient times. Chariots were wheeled around the world by horses in ancient times. Thus, Lego has fortold the end.

3. 2012 was a blockbuster movie that fortells the end. Taking the names of the primary stars (John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and Danny Glover) and running them through an anagram generator reveals: "Omen: A Sunny Jacaranda Glop Kvetched." I couldn't have put it any plainer.

4. Rush (the band, not the fat guy) prophesied in 2112 that the solar system would be taken over by evil priests who want to take guitars away from us. Napoleon fought his last battle in 1812. 1912 saw Albania become a nation. This leads me to believe that years ending in -12 are important. Consequently, Napoleon Dynamite will become Chief Priest of Albania and begin his Guitar Burning Mission. It will take 100 years for the world to be subjugated.

5. 666 is the traditional number of the beast. The beast is generally a goat or a snake or something. We'll pick snake today. Snakes can bend around and make themselves look like the number 6. Snake bites are bad. A plague of snakes will cover the world in 2012 because 2012 - 666 = 1346. The black plague was rampant in 1346. Obviously the plague, carried by snakes, will destroy the world in 2012.

It is plain that the world will end in 2012. The facts I just made up are irrefutable. Plus, someone who works with me assured me during our manager's meeting yesterday that we have less than 365 days to go. He was serious. The guy he replaced thought a "Golden Orb" was following him around the office one night. Obviously I work with highly skilled, intelligent folks that can be trusted to know the future. Golden orbs...


But wait, there's more!

Yep, I wrote a sequel. I've added four and a half more reasons. Here it is!

Comments

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    • DougBerry profile imageAUTHOR

      DougBerry 

      8 years ago from Abilene, TX

      And?

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      8 years ago from North Texas

      Very funny, and I voted you up and funny. Now you have me worrying about Golden orbs and whether I might be befriended by one . . . :0

      Will share!

    • profile image

      Sam 

      8 years ago

      You are a total IDIOT

    • starstream profile image

      Dreamer at heart 

      8 years ago from Northern California

      Yep, You have a talent for humor. I just read your profile page too. What a laugh.. I wasn't accepted for the apprentice program. They sent me a letter saying they worried I wouldn't be able to fulfill the quota of hubs. Must have been a chain letter.

    • d.william profile image

      d.william 

      9 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      This is one of the most comical hubs i have read in a while. Made me laugh out loud. I will have to check out some more of your stuff.

    • profile image

      Ray 

      9 years ago

      yes, but you got the year total wrong... 2012+12+21 = 2045 the singularity.

    • DougBerry profile imageAUTHOR

      DougBerry 

      9 years ago from Abilene, TX

    • DougBerry profile imageAUTHOR

      DougBerry 

      9 years ago from Abilene, TX

      So I do work with highly skilled people? I don't think so...

    • Jaguar Priest profile image

      Jaguar Priest 

      9 years ago from Amaruca

      No one could ever be so wrong...

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 

      9 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      A Hilarious Hub. I always say, the best thing about the future is that is comes one day at a time!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      9 years ago from Ohio, USA

      "1912 saw Albania become a nation."

      ...only to be collapsed shortly thereafter by a Ponzi scheme. Hardly a reliable barometer for world stability.

    • nextstopjupiter profile image

      nextstopjupiter 

      9 years ago from here, there and everywhere

      Of course, 2012 will be the last year ..., ... before 2013! Thanks for this hub!

    • FalconSays profile image

      Karen S Falcon 

      9 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      OH. EM. GEE. ! Thank You! I have already had a couple of agonizing discussions (that I tried desperately to cut short) with a couple people convinced of the world ending in 2012. I can't wait to share this hub!

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      9 years ago from North Texas

      You are very funny! Hilarious even. Best laugh I've had in while. Yes, I know you meant this to be funny, and it is. You made a lot of good points, too.

      Voting you UP and funny!

    • DougBerry profile imageAUTHOR

      DougBerry 

      9 years ago from Abilene, TX

      I made it all up. It's on the Internet now. It has to be true. Golden orbs...

    • pongogirl2 profile image

      Jasmine Pena 

      9 years ago from California, USA

      just by reading this its hard for me to believe all of this information.

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