ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

50 things a women can't do

Updated on August 20, 2010

don't be offended its only a joke!

50 Things Women Cannot Do!!!

1.Know anything about a car except its colour
2.Understand a film plot
3.Go 24 hours without sending a text message
9.Read a map
10.Rob a bank
11.Resist Ikea
12.Sit still
13.Tell a joke
14.Play pool
15.Pay for dinner
16.Eat a kebab whilst walking
17.Pee out of a train window
18.Argue without shouting
19.Get told off without crying
20.Understand fruit machines
21.Walk past a shoe shop
22.Make a decent bacon sandwich
23.Not comment on strangers clothes
24.Use small amounts of toilet paper
25.Let you sleep with a hangover
26.Drink a pint gracefully
27.Get a round in
28.Throw a punch
29.Do magic your friends
31.Enjoy porn
32.Eat a really hot curry
33.Get to the point
34.Buy plain envelopes
35.Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
36.Sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"
37.Go shopping without telephoning 20 mates
38.Avoid credit card debt
39.Dive into a pool
40.Assemble furniture
41.Roll a bogey between finger and thumb
42.Set a video recorder
43.Not try and change you
44.Watch a war film
45.Understand why flirting results in violence
46.Spend a day by themselves
47.Go to the toilet by themselves
48.Buy a purse that fits in their pocket
49.Choose a video quickly
50.Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • vicki simms profile image

      vicki simms 

      7 years ago from northamptonshire

      Lol this hub is great, as a woman though I have to argue that not all are correct, hence you being very correct on number 50 hahaha. Its great though, had me laughing cause as much as we argue, the majority of it is probably true.

    • phoenixgbr profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thanks for the feedback. I'm pleased that so many people liked this. I have indeed read deborah's hub - excellent.

    • lisabeaman profile image


      8 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      There are some very true points here... but my arguing points #2 & #9 only prove point #50! *sigh* I can't win! I hope you've read the one that Deborah wrote.

      And Leanman... I think I'm scared of your ex-wife! She sounds amazing though!

    • IzzyM profile image


      8 years ago from UK

      Please read and delete.

      Your tags are wrong. Take 'online writing goals' out. That is ONLY for the hublogs.

      Take '60 dc challenge' out. That is for the last challenge.

      Insert instead '60 day challenge'.

    • profile image

      Beverly Taggart 

      8 years ago

      What you are seeing is what you believe about women. So sad that you believe women are like this. Unfortunately, that's all you're gonna get. I, on the other hand, believe that there are men who love and appreciate women each for their unique selves. You could be one, but it will take lots of work from the sound of things.

    • vandijckske profile image


      8 years ago from belgium

      epic list i think

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      8 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Hey phoenixgbr, I liked this hub so much, that I read it again. I am now composing my own hub of 50 things that a man cannot do.


    • lakeerieartists profile image

      Paula Atwell 

      8 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      Personally, I don't find your list at all funny, and it is also completely wrong. Not sure where you are finding your women.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Funny but not all correct. I can certainly go to the bathroom alone in a short period of time, read a map quite well, and it would be nice to pee out a train window but can't do that, but I can shoot a gun pretty accurately and that wasn't on the list. All in fun!

    • LeanMan profile image


      8 years ago from At the Gemba

      Number 28, you obviously never met my ex-wife, saw her layout a huge guy that was trying to hit her when he refused to leave our bar.... One punch, then she dragged him down a flight of stairs by one leg.. lol

      Bet he had a huge headache..

    • Dobson profile image


      8 years ago from Virginia

      Interesting, but I too think it will generate some comments.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      other than last point ,for remaining u still have to do R & D


    • phoenixgbr profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hard had is frimly attached. Ikea is a largest shopping centre that once you get in you can never get out!

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      8 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Ok. You got me on number 50. Funny hub. But what is Ikea?

      Tim, I know what a flak jacket is....


    • Tim Blackstone profile image

      Tim Blackstone 

      8 years ago

      Well, I enjoyed your list but I suspect some won't find it so amusing. Best you put your tin hat on and prepare for some flak. Not that women know what flak is of course..LOL

      They should watch a few war films. The Dambusters would be a good one to start with for learning about flak.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)