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50 things a women can't do

Updated on August 20, 2010

don't be offended its only a joke!

50 Things Women Cannot Do!!!


1.Know anything about a car except its colour
2.Understand a film plot
3.Go 24 hours without sending a text message
4.Lift
5.Throw
6.Run
7.Park
8.Fart
9.Read a map
10.Rob a bank
11.Resist Ikea
12.Sit still
13.Tell a joke
14.Play pool
15.Pay for dinner
16.Eat a kebab whilst walking
17.Pee out of a train window
18.Argue without shouting
19.Get told off without crying
20.Understand fruit machines
21.Walk past a shoe shop
22.Make a decent bacon sandwich
23.Not comment on strangers clothes
24.Use small amounts of toilet paper
25.Let you sleep with a hangover
26.Drink a pint gracefully
27.Get a round in
28.Throw a punch
29.Do magic
30.like your friends
31.Enjoy porn
32.Eat a really hot curry
33.Get to the point
34.Buy plain envelopes
35.Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
36.Sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"
37.Go shopping without telephoning 20 mates
38.Avoid credit card debt
39.Dive into a pool
40.Assemble furniture
41.Roll a bogey between finger and thumb
42.Set a video recorder
43.Not try and change you
44.Watch a war film
45.Understand why flirting results in violence
46.Spend a day by themselves
47.Go to the toilet by themselves
48.Buy a purse that fits in their pocket
49.Choose a video quickly
50.Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

 

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    • vicki simms profile image

      vicki simms 6 years ago from northamptonshire

      Lol this hub is great, as a woman though I have to argue that not all are correct, hence you being very correct on number 50 hahaha. Its great though, had me laughing cause as much as we argue, the majority of it is probably true.

    • phoenixgbr profile image
      Author

      phoenixgbr 7 years ago

      Thanks for the feedback. I'm pleased that so many people liked this. I have indeed read deborah's hub - excellent.

    • lisabeaman profile image

      lisabeaman 7 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      There are some very true points here... but my arguing points #2 & #9 only prove point #50! *sigh* I can't win! I hope you've read the one that Deborah wrote.

      And Leanman... I think I'm scared of your ex-wife! She sounds amazing though!

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 7 years ago from UK

      Please read and delete.

      Your tags are wrong. Take 'online writing goals' out. That is ONLY for the hublogs.

      Take '60 dc challenge' out. That is for the last challenge.

      Insert instead '60 day challenge'.

    • profile image

      Beverly Taggart 7 years ago

      What you are seeing is what you believe about women. So sad that you believe women are like this. Unfortunately, that's all you're gonna get. I, on the other hand, believe that there are men who love and appreciate women each for their unique selves. You could be one, but it will take lots of work from the sound of things.

    • vandijckske profile image

      vandijckske 7 years ago from belgium

      epic list i think

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 7 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Hey phoenixgbr, I liked this hub so much, that I read it again. I am now composing my own hub of 50 things that a man cannot do.

      Namaste.

    • lakeerieartists profile image

      Paula Atwell 7 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      Personally, I don't find your list at all funny, and it is also completely wrong. Not sure where you are finding your women.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      Funny but not all correct. I can certainly go to the bathroom alone in a short period of time, read a map quite well, and it would be nice to pee out a train window but can't do that, but I can shoot a gun pretty accurately and that wasn't on the list. All in fun!

    • LeanMan profile image

      Tony 7 years ago from At the Gemba

      Number 28, you obviously never met my ex-wife, saw her layout a huge guy that was trying to hit her when he refused to leave our bar.... One punch, then she dragged him down a flight of stairs by one leg.. lol

      Bet he had a huge headache..

    • Dobson profile image

      Dobson 7 years ago from Virginia

      Interesting, but I too think it will generate some comments.

    • profile image

      smits 7 years ago

      other than last point ,for remaining u still have to do R & D

      REGARDS

    • phoenixgbr profile image
      Author

      phoenixgbr 7 years ago

      Hard had is frimly attached. Ikea is a largest shopping centre that once you get in you can never get out!

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 7 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Ok. You got me on number 50. Funny hub. But what is Ikea?

      Tim, I know what a flak jacket is....

      Namaste.

    • Tim Blackstone profile image

      Tim Blackstone 7 years ago

      Well, I enjoyed your list but I suspect some won't find it so amusing. Best you put your tin hat on and prepare for some flak. Not that women know what flak is of course..LOL

      They should watch a few war films. The Dambusters would be a good one to start with for learning about flak.