"I Want to Be a Naughty Pirate, Because ...." Celebrity Quotes & Movie Lines
A selection of quotes from well known people from the Baird himself to modern day celebrities, such as Lance Armstrong, Harry Styles & Stephen Hawking.
Also included within this article are a selection of celebrity putdowns and memorable movie lines from over the years.
Movies such as ...Jaws - Rocky - Top Gun - Dirty Dancing - Goodfellas - Karate Kid - Poltergeist .......
These are the Movie one liners that take you back "Soylent Green is people"
You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat
- "Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called" - Jarod Kintz
- "The moment the car door opened I knew an ass-kicking was inevitable. Whether I'd be giving it or receiving it was still a bit of a mystery" -Rachel Vincent
- "If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you" -Steven Wright
- "Goodbyes, they often come in waves" - Jarod Kintz
- "When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realise I should have been more specific" - Lily Tomlin
- "The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more someone is going to get hurt" - Jarod Kintz
- "Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you'er doing" - Peyton Manning
- "Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking" -Dave Barry
- "If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell" -David Cook
- "Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie" -Sherrilyn Kenyon
- "A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real" -Harry Styles
- "I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues" -Franklin D. Roosevelt
- "I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn't it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit" -Jarod Kintz
- "How is it possible to have a Civil war?" -George Carlin
- "Never miss a good chance to shut up" -Will rogers
- "Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright" -Laurel K. hamilton
- "A boo is a lot louder than a cheer" -Lance Armstrong
- "Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive" -Elbert Hubbard
- "I had the right to remain silent.....but I didn't have the ability" -Ron White
- "It's supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button" - John Brunner
- "I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye-patch, it barely covers my genitals" -Jarod Kintz
- "Thine face is not worth sunburning" -William Shakespeare
- "A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it" -George Bernard Shaw
- "I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here" -Lauren Myracle
- "Don't put your wand there, boy!.....Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know" - J.K. Rowling
- "Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings" -Robert Benchley
- "If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people" -Jarod Kintz
- "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick' and 'Colin', need I say more" -Chris Rock
- "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile" -Billy Sunday
- "Its not true that I had nothing on, I had the radio on" -Marilyn Monroe
- "This planet is fine. The people are f**ked" -George Carlin
- ""You know what I like most about people? Pets" -Jarod Kintz
- "A penny saved is a penny earned" -Benjamin Franklin
- "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. Its the transition thats troublesome" -Isaac Asimov
- "Life would be tragic if it weren't funny" -Stephen Hawking
- "Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory" -Albert Schweitzer
- " I want to be happy and sad at the same time. yeah I know it sounds sappy" -Jarod Kintz
- "I had a dream about you last night......You were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs" -Amy Summers
- " I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back" -Zsa Zsa Gabor
- " I hate fake people. You know what I'm talking about. Mannequins" -Jarod Kintz
- " I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. iknew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it" -Rodney Dangerfield
- "A word to the wise aint necessary, its the stupid ones who need advice" -Bill Cosby
- "Always go to other peoples funerals , otherwise they wont come to yours" -Yogi Berra
- "If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?" -Jerry Seinfeld
- "If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public" -Jarod Kintz
- "Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they wont be avoided" -Mae West
- "Sane is boring" -R A Salvatore
- "What a kid I got. I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife" -Rodney Dangerfield
- "Don't be so humble- you aren't that great" -Golda Meir
- "Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy" - Albert Einstein
- "I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it" -Mark twain
- "The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I'd be ok" -Jarod Kintz
- "Those who believe in Telekinesis, raise my hand" -Kurt Vonnegut
- "I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel" -Terry Pratchett
- "Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight" -Phyllis Diller
- "Hey sometimes life is a shit flavoured popsicle" -Carl Hiaasen
- "Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night" -Colleen Hoover
- "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye" -Cathy Guiswile
- "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on" -Winston Churchill
- "If I saw you hitch-hiking, I'd smile and return your thumbs up, just for you doing such a great job of being a positive roadside influence" -Jarod Kintz
So that was my choice of Celebrity Quotes & Putdowns.
Check out more from Jarod Kintz in his book "I Want" available on Amazon
Youtube Video of Famous Movie Lines Below...
Check out the Youtube movie compilation below, showing clips and one liners from movies throughout the years- "You can't handle the truth" and "Show me the money"
Can you name the movies............that's right it was "you can't handle the truth" from Jack Nicholsons court room scene in 'A Few Good Men' and then "Show me the Money" which was a saying of the character played by Tom Cruise in 'Jerry McGuire'
Famous Movie Quotes....
Movie Lines from the 80's.... "For people who came of age watching Footloose, Dirty Dancing, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High"
Movie Trivia Poster ...101 Quotes...Can You Guess Them?
© 2014 Alan Writes