7 Days To Live Horror Movie Review by Nightcat
Instead of the usual straight up review, I'm going to give you a handy survival guide in case you somehow get sucked into this film. So consider this Seven Ways to Live. Catchy, eh?
1) After a great personal loss which you may no doubt blame yourself and your spouse for, do not, under any circumstances, move out to the middle of nowhere. Don't even think about it. I mean it. OK, fine, you can move out there but don't move into a big, spookity house. Because this is a horror movie, that's why.
2) Fine, move into the big spookity house, but don't say I didn't warn you. But if your friends help you move in, leave with them. Especially if you start having flashbacks about your personal loss. Trust me on this one. You're staying? Really? Even after the freaky thing with the radio? Ok, then tip number three.
3) Leave as soon as you start getting messages. That seven on the bathroom mirror is not your husband being cute or this film tipping its hat to tons of other horror movies as it does so well with a sly wink and a nod. Run, girl, run now!
4) Fine, so you stayed. You don't realize that dark humour is always a bad sign in a horror movie, do you? Speaking of signs, be on the lookout for roadsigns warning of your doom and other things that would actually be funny if they weren't happening to you. Try to ignore the audience as they ask you how many warnings you need and scream at you to run. Ignore the retired cop when he shows up too.
5) Keep an eye on that squirrelly spouse of yours. Whenever a writer moves into a big place in the middle of nowhere to work on a book it is a given he is going to go coo-coo for cocoa puffs. Try to pay attention and figure out what he is doing in the basement. And why is the hack suddenly writing faster than Steven King?
6) Whatever you do, don't tell your shrink or your spouse about seeing your dead son. Or your dead dog. I'd tell you who killed the dog, but I bet you can guess. All work and no play, eh? On the plus side, that novel of his is coming along tickety-boo.
7) You just had to stay, didn't you? Final piece of advice. Don't look in the basement. Trust me, don't. Leave now while you still can, do not pass go, leave that nutter, he's a goner. But if you do stay? Be on the lookout for an ending that is so typical of the genre that it is actually brilliant.
The trailer, which contains spoilers, obviously.
Like films where writers go crazy? You'll love this one, filled with classic lines and come to think of it, a plot a lot like the above film.
Did this film remind you of "The Shining"?
Loved the film? Hated it? Wish the horror movie genre would stop setting films in the middle of nowhere? Still puzzled why she didn't run on any of those seven day? Me too, and I'd love to hear from you!