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A Bit of Scottish Humour

Updated on September 18, 2014

My Favorite Joke Told by My Good Friend and Associate Frank Angle, Raconteur and Barrister Extraordinaire

One of my best friends during my checkered career in corporate America was Frank Angle. Frank had an inexhaustible supply of jokes, and he was especially good at telling ones that required a foreign accent or whatever accent the joke required. The following was one of my favorites which Frank told in a perfect Oxford English accent until the punch line, embellishing a bit as he went along.

"Four gentlemen waited at each day for the tube in London carrying briefcases, London Times, pipes and umbrellas. Each day they boarded the train and sat opposite each other, two by two, folded their newspapers and rode in complete silence.

"After a couple of months the eldest gentleman cleared his throat and said in a pronounced Ox-Bridge accent: 'Gentlemen, we've been riding together now for several months so it's only proper that we introduce ourselves.' He continued as follows 'Smithers-Trevelyan, brigadier, retired, Oxford '42, married, two sons, both barristers' and looked to the gentleman facing him in the opposite seat.

"The second gentleman responded 'Lloyd-Terwilliger, Sandhurst '47, brigadier, retired, married, two sons, both doctors.'

"The third man continued 'Brown-Garrison, Eton '49, Cambridge '53, brigadier, retired, married, two sons, both bankers.'

"Whereupon the first three men looked at their fourth companion who hesitated a moment and, in a Scottish brogue, said 'MacGregor, sergeant major, retired, not married, two sons, both brigadiers.'"

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    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 6 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Ralph. I had to read the 'punch line' twice before it clicked. Great laugh, thanks.

      Graham.

    • Ralph Deeds profile image
      Author

      Ralph Deeds 6 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      Ha! That's a good one. I've heard that at Harvard the boys are taught to wash their hands BEFORE taking a leak.

    • gposchman profile image

      Gene Poschman 6 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area

      I have heard the following joke in a variety of ways, but the first person to tell to me was my Father, and I like his best.

      A English aristocrat had arrived at the highlands in Scotland and was looking to purchase some land. He had stopped at a local pub and went in for some refreshment. He ordered a pint and went to the loo. As he entered a number of local farm hands were finishing up and returned to the pub. Not one had washed his hands.

      When the Englishman re-entered the Pub he announced in a loud voice “While going to school in Oxford, we were taught to wash our hands after using the loo!”

      The locals looked at one another and the man closest to the Englishman stood up and said, “When your used to working on a farm, you learn all by yourself not to piss on your hands!”

    • Ralph Deeds profile image
      Author

      Ralph Deeds 6 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      Glad you enjoyed the joke. Thanks.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 6 years ago from California

      Wonderfully jolly laugh! Keep the laughs coming.

    • gposchman profile image

      Gene Poschman 6 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area

      The Scottish truly have a way of putting things and people in perspective.

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 6 years ago from Scotland

      Ha Ha Ha, I love that lol, thanks for sharing Ralph and great to see you.....jimmy

    • UnnamedHarald profile image

      David Hunt 6 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

      I had to read this twice, but it was worth it. Absolutely hilarious. I love humour that you have to think twice about. Voted up and funny!

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