A Blonde, A Brunette And A Red-head's World Adventure Of A Life-time
HOME AT LAST
I can’t believe it !!!. We have made it home in one piece. Two months of holidaying all around the world, visiting our hubber friends from all across the globe, going to places I only dreamt about. This time we formed a threesome in our travels, Anna Marie Bowman begged to come along too, and we were happy to have her. So folks I know you are just busting to share the excitement of our expedition, so without any further ado, let me share with you the “Holiday Of A Life-time ”, the saga of a blonde, a brunette and a red-head, who painted the world red.
US Pest's Trailer Park
What a blast we had when we visited Pest in the most famous trailer park in the whole of the United States. Pest also invited Panchuca213 and Goldentoad down for the weekend, he thought what a blast we would all have together. Pest paid Momma twenty bucks to shoot through for the weekend, so we could have the place all to ourselves.
For activities throughout the day we did a little fishing in the frozen lake that surrounded his cute as a button trailer. "OMG", Anna hollered, "I've caught something". "What is it?", cried AE. "I think we may have a biggy", I chirped. GT coughed loudly while he unhooked the line from Pest's fly on his trousers. We looked at each other sheepishly.
As night fell it grew quite cold inside. Pest realised we were without firewood so he ripped a few floorboards up from the kitchen to chuck in the fireplace. "Momma won't mind", he muttered, "she is a little short-sighted". Panchuca213 brought along a game of animal twister, which proved to be so much fun, by the time we finished the game we all turned into animals ourselves and need I say anymore.
Us girls, had a ball in South Africa. There we met up with Sixtyorso, who was delighted to show us around his hometown. For a small price he arranged for us to have a ride on some huge African elephants, that did some rather bizarre things to each other, which caught the attention of my camera. Two particular elephants were so in love with each other, they forgot that we were all there and did what they do best. AE Evans looked on rather blankly, while Anna and I cheered them on. Sixtyorso also arranged a shooting expedition that he said was a must before we left, an activity that we had never tried. Unfortunately AE backfired her weapon and it deflated one of her breast implants. It took 14hours for the ambulance to arrive, luckily they had a spare bike pump in their medical kit and pumped it straight back up to a DD. Sixtyorso was a delightful host, so amazing that we didn't want to leave him but indeed our journey had to continue on.We gave him a big sloppy kiss before waving him goodbye.
We just had to visit Portugal, Funridedemanded it after we failed to pop in on our first adventure. We decided to don our best clothes for the highly anticipated meeting, we just had to present our very best. On the way to his country shack I spotted a fabulous piece of nature by the side of the road, and demanded we stop to take a few photographs. "How the heck do we find these things?", I laughed.
- Confucious say "man who pee on electric fence receive shocking news".
I was busting to get to China to visit my dear friend Cindy Vine. She was even more than what we expected to meet. We spent the morning in her kitchen receiving the most amazing sausage making lessons, by the master herself. Boy amidst the laughter, Bourbon and gabble, there was sausages of all shapes and sizes flying everywhere. Somehow I pressed the wrong buttons and the saveloy machine seriously malfunctioned.
The same afternoon we ventured downtown where Cindy showed us her favourite bookshop, and introduced us to her friends Anne Teak, Emma Royds, Gaye Barr and Mona Lott, proprietors of the local Bingo Hall which Cindy frequents every Friday night.
Another great highlight of our trip was Greece, a gorgeous country in southeastern Europe, situated on the southern end of the Balkan Peninsula. There in the divine mountains and rich luscious valleys we caught up with the woman eater Sufidreamer who sent his Uncle Sal Monella to pick us up from the airport.
Sufidreamer was the perfect host, when we weren't mud wrestling him in a puddle in his backyard, he was busy pouring us tall glasses of Ouzo. "Health benefits, health benefits", he kept muttering as he topped our tall glasses up. The next morning Anna woke up in the barn, with a pair of old goats, while AE and I awoke to find ourselves floating in the jacuzzi from the night before. Suddenly a still half drunk Sufidreamer screamed "Quick you got to go girls my Ma and Pa are here." AE and I sprung like two vault jumpers out the open window and landed on top of Sal Monella who was attending the cars below.
While visiting St Tropez we caught up with the glamorous Iphigenia who invited us to stay two nights in her three storey, five class penthouse, deep in the heart of the city. She bought four tickets for us to attend the annual Sexpo which she was positive would bring us the fame that we so much desired. I decided this would be a perfect time to don my police uniform I found hanging in a locker while visiting a Swedish police station for pranging yet another rent-a-car in Stockholm. It was a huge blast as I expected it to be. Anna Marie showed a keen interest in some bizarre looking pigs, while AE tried her hand at pole dancing. Iphigenia introduced us to the manager of the gala event Brock Lee , who also happened to be her charming, well-developed husband.
St Louis was defenitely a highlight of our adventures where we were shown around by the one and only Christoph Reilly. What a show man he was too. He asked his good friends 'The Saggy Hooters Club", to accompany us on his tour of his city and they happily obliged. I begged Christoph to drive his brand new car as there was no way I was sitting in the back with the four hooters, much to Anna's and AE's disapproval. Christoph was actually quite impressed with my driving skills until I heard the high pitched scream coming from Anna in the back. Apparently the eldest member Al Lickertwat's hooter had fallen off into Anna's takeaway Cappuccino, and as a result I kind of lost control of the vehicle and had a slight prang into some cars parked on the roadside. Christoph was very understanding,as he still had the compassion to give us all a high suction kiss goodbye
The Briny Sand
We managed to catch up to Hubpages Extraordinaire Ralwus, who most proudly showed us his many accumulated trophies for the 'World's Best Toe Sucker'. We spent many magical, relaxing moments with him having our toes pampered, painted, photographed and sucked by the great man himself. He had a rather strange toilet in his huge white, marbled bathroom, we are still trying to figure out what was so sinister about it. Ralwus also is a master of sculpture, he showed us his 'Little Boy Blue', in his backyard garden, he also loves birds too.
Can you believe it? When I arrived home back in Australia I woke up in my economy seat, to see AE and Anna Marie fast asleep beside me. Hells Bells! They had fallen asleep from all the excitement and had missed their departure pit stop in the good ole US. After the initial shock of it all, we decided to extend our trip in good old Australia and visited two more friendsEric G and isis_dreams2002.
Eric G was a laugh and a half. He showed us his prize and cherished Harley motorbike called 'The Exterminator', and gave us all a double, out on the little dusty roads surrounding his Aussie shack. AE, did not quite enjoy the fast momentum of the speeding bike, she turned a rather dark shade of green with motion sickness, so she hitch-hiked and caught a roo ride back to our base. Anne Marie actually passed out when a motorist approached from the opposite direction.The photo I snapped pictured here, tells the whole story. Eric with his outrageous sense of humour thought it was so awfully funny. Indeed!! We gave him a good whipping back at the barn, funny though, he had a smile on his face despite the torture we inflicted on him.
isis_dreams2002 was a wonderful hostess. She made a beaut meal of Kangaroo Paw, the only downfall was that the toe-nails of the roo got caught in our delicate throats. Her boy-friend a famous Australian inventor Dwayne Pipe, had the most amazing car we had ever laid eyes on. He remarkably crossed a helicopter with a mini with amazing success and hence dubbed it "The Little Pecker".
If you were impressed with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang you would have adored "The Little Pecker."
If you missed our first adventure here it is:
- AEvans And Blondepoet's World Adventures
Our World Safari For those who were not aware I had the good fortune to travel through Europe, Asia and the United States earlier this year with my good friend and side-kick AEvans.
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