A Mom's Daily Schedule - Stay-at-Home Moms Daily Schedule - Funny

 When my fiance comes home from work and asks "What did you do all day?", I am usually about 5 seconds away from screaming at him.  What does he mean by what did you do all day?  OK, I can answer him falsely with what he wants to here "Well, I woke up, laid on the couch all day and decided that supper would not be done cooking by the time you came home because I was just too lazy today", like that ever happens.  I instead decide to tell him the truth, which I don't think he can really grasp.  So here we go:

I woke up at 7:30 about 1 1/2 hours before my precious little demons (children) are awake.  I came downstairs and ate my breakfast while you told me how stressful your day of work is going to be.  You left at 8:30 for work and you called me on your cell phone to remind me of things that are going on the rest of the week and you also added a few more chores to my never ending list.  After I was done talking to you I went down the basement and got the clothes out the dryer from last night so I could fold them without our 2 year old ripping through them with his mutant 100 hands.  I continued onto to clean the downstairs bathroom, even though I cleaned it yesterday, because for some reason the toilet is just not wide enough for the boys in this house to actually make it in to.  Instead the floor is a mess and it drives me crazy.  I guess next I carry the folded laundry upstairs to our room and sort the clothes into separate piles for each dresser in the house, I will put these away sometime before I go to bed. (Hopefully)  By this time the kids are slowly waking up.  Breakfast is next on the list for them.  After they finish eating there are dishes to be done, table needs to be wiped, and almost always the floor needs to be swept.  I dust the living room furniture because dust also drives me crazy.  I then run the sweeper to get rid of the crumbs from yesterdays snacks and also the animals like to shed.  I spray some febreze so the house smells good, nobody likes to smell little kid and big man feet.  I go upstairs to get clothes for the kids, dress them, and I move onto yet another load of laundry.  Where does all this laundry come from???  I know there are six people in the house, but seriously it is never ending.  I throw in the laundry and walk back upstairs.  How is this possible?  You kids were able to get every single toy you own out the toy boxes and on the floor in a matter of 4 minutes!!!  How?  This is a question I will ask myself 50 times a day.  Lunch is soon approaching.  I don't like lunch time.  The kids are never happy with what I make, it is always a struggle.  I don't give in.  They will eat it or they will just have to go hungry.  (I lied if they don't eat it they know in a little bit I will make them something else)  After lunch is served and finished it is dishes once again, wiping the table, and sweeping the floor.  The 3 bigger kids are now playing upstairs, it is just me and my 2 year old left to clean up the mess in the parlor.  The toys are put away, it is going for 2.  I set him up on the couch to watch Caillou, hopefully he will nap, hopefully if he does nap the other 3 will be quiet and let him sleep.  Please, Please, Please.  Caillou is over and sure enough he is not sleeping, so on goes SpongeBob and in about 30 minutes he is fast asleep!!!  Finally a break!!  Wrong!!!  Now it is upstairs to find out why the kids are screaming at one another.  That takes about 30 minutes to figure out what happened, who did it, who may have hit who, and who has which one's favorite toy???  OK that's done, now I have to calm them down.  Well now it is going for 4:00.  That's great.  I fly down the stairs, grab the pork chops out of the fridge and I start cooking like a cooking show on fast forward.  You, my fiance, walks through the door at 4:20 but the food is not quite done.  It will be atleast 10 more minutes.  Then the dreaded question is said "What did you do all day?.  Does this paragraph not some it up???

So after supper is served the race is on to be out the door by 5:00. One has to be at football and the other 2 have to be at soccer practice. Uniforms are flying through the air, cleats are being tied, and a 2 year old is being changed and dressed at record speed. We all load up in separate cars. One car with one adult and one child goes to football, and the other is one adult (me) and 3 children go to soccer. (I still think it is unfair that I have to take more kids with me than he does.) Football practice goes from 5:30 to 7:30ish, and soccer is 5:15-6:15 for one kid, then right after that 6:15-7:30ish for the next. We all are finally home by 8. Now we just need to wash 4 kids and ourselves and we're done, right? Wrong for me. Now I have to do dishes from supper, wipe off the table, sweep the floor, put the laundry from the washer in the dryer, and put the piles of clothes away from the bed.

It is now 10:30, the kids are going to bed, finally. We tuck them in and now we could relax? Once again wrong for me! I forgot to clean the litter box. Everything is done. Finally!! I sit on the couch and watch t.v., now it is 11:15, I am exhausted and we go up to bed. Oh crap, I forgot to put the clothes away, so I just pile them back into a laundry basket and I will just have put them away tomorrow, I hope. I fall asleep around midnight and get up at 7:30 in the morning to start again.

 So before you ask your wife, "What did you do all day?", just keep in mind maybe you don't want the answer.  I shouldn't say don't want but be afraid of the answer, and or her mood!!!

Even with the never ending list of chores and errands, she may also be losing the fight of her life.  You know the fight where the children take your mind and hide it from you.  That's a whole other story.  Please read that one!!!