- Entertainment and Media
A Visit with Maude
Maude comes to visit
“Coo-eeeeee - Movie Master are you there dear?”
Ah now there is only one person around here that calls me ‘dear’ “I’m coming Maude, I’ll just put a lid on the pan and I’ll come to the window”
“I thought I heard you pottering around in the kitchen, dinner smells delicious what delights are you treating the adorable Nick to tonight?”
“One of his favourites Maude, Bee…(Ooops) Bean stew” I'd better change the subject a bit smartish. “How’s things then Maude?”
“Well you know mustn’t grumble, but these darn flies are testing my patience today, I’m itching in all the places I can’t reach. That’s why your wall is a Godsend dear, an absolute Godsend, I could stand here all day rubbing away those itches, it’s heaven dear pure heaven”
“You’re certainly looking well Maude, I think motherhood suits you!
“Thank you MM for the compliment - well, and?“
“These, Movie Master, have you noticed these?”
Maude stepped back a few steps grinning and blushing yes, I’m sure she was blushing. She waited expectantly and I knew I should be saying something complimentary, I’d obviously missed something important. I must have looked a little baffled…
“Teats dear, teats!”
My eyes fell upon the things in question, wow - they were BIG! I managed a smile, hopefully one of admiration - good, that had the desired effect for Maude.
“Aren’t they some whoppers? I always dreamed of teats this size and so did my George - bless him!” Maude stifled a giggle shyly. “And it’s all thanks to our Jack”
What do I say? “Betty and all your other friends must be envious Maude” a feeble response I know, but it was the best I could do, cows teats aren’t exactly a thing of beauty to me especially while I’m having beef stew for dinner.
Teats and Jack
“Betty especially, I keep catching her out the corner of my eye, staring…. Green with envy dear, now hers are a good size I admit, but I’ve hit a whole new level with these beauties”
There was no denying they were impressive.
“What I’m worried about MM is, are they going to stay this size? Our Jack is growing up fast and he’s getting a taste for his greens now”
I too could remember being the proud owner of swollen breasts in early motherhood. Only to be devastated a few months later, when they all too quickly shrunk back to normal size.
Jack snacking between meals
I changed the subject quickly, as Jack appeared grinning and munching. “Hi Jack, how you doing?”
“Good Movie Master, when’s dinner Mum?”
“How many times have I told you Jack, don’t talk with your mouth full” Maude spoke sternly but her words were spoken with love “you’re eating clover again, it’ll rot your teeth, stick to your greens and you will grow up big and strong like your father”
A big sigh from Jack before he carried on chewing, a beautiful mauve drooling down his chin.
Movie Master and Friends
“Your garden is looking lovely dear, are you having an Open Day again this year?”
Memories of my dear neighbours lined up at the garden wall watching the days activities with curious eyes came flooding back.
“Yes I think so Maude, probably in the summer when the garden is at it’s best”
“I shall look forward to it, it’s so nice to meet new people and we loved meeting all your friends last year. How is Mike and is the café still busy?”
Now I remember, Mike and Maude were in deep conversation most of the afternoon and it was only when refreshments were served in the Retreat I was able to drag him away.
“Mike is well thank you Maude and the café still serves the best coffee in town”
“And what about the lovely nurse and the seed, I liked them, they were like you dear, their cameras were an extension to their arms, it was quite exhausting posing for all those photos”
The memories came flooding back of Maude and Betty jostling for best position, each trying to outdo the other for exposure and popularity.
“Well I mustn’t keep you any longer MM, Jack is waiting for his dinner and my teats are getting sore, let me know when the next photoshoot and Open Day is due, I know the girls are up for it, enjoy your bean stew dear”