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A-Z of Classic Rock Bands

Updated on April 25, 2014

Steven Tyler has a quiet word with Joe Perry

(photo by Chris Gampat at Flickr)
(photo by Chris Gampat at Flickr)

A-Z of Classic Rock Bands

AEROSMITH - Old boyband started up by Simon Cowell's less successful dad. Now famous for soppy love ballads and partially responsible for Liv Tyler.

BLACK SABBATH - The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, rarely seen by earthly mortals until resurrected by former X-Factor judge.

CREAM - Soothing embrocation to be Clapton a Ginger Bruce. Seminal rockers who lasted a fortnight.

DEEP PURPLE - Long-standing gentleman's club once bossed by Ritchie Blackmore. Has boasted 98 members in 40 years, now an Anglo-American workers co-operative.

EAGLES - Cross-generational cowboy troupe comprising three bores and a wildman. Currently producing four albums a century.

FREE - Feeder club for Bad Company, singer always wanted to be in Queen. Responsible for epoch-making 'All Right Now' but also 'My Brother Jake' for their mums and dads.

GENESIS - Progressive, forward-thinking modernists who always sang about stuff from hundreds of years ago. Drummer became a professional Peter Gabriel impersonator.

HAWKWIND - Threw Lemmy out of their band.

IRON MAIDEN - Status Quo of the NWOBHM glitter-patch set. Most famous icon a 10-foot gargoyle who played guitar in Gillan. Singer drives flying machines to save paying fare and justify University degree. Also handy with a sword.

JUDAS PRIEST - Recently reformed to save the ailing leather goods industry in the East Midlands. Singer never married.

KISS - Travelling freak show with fire-breathing and performing clowns. Rumoured to own half the Free World and parts of the outer universe.

LED ZEPPELIN - UK ex-Prime Minister's Tony Blair's favourite band as they performed a one-off gig to pay off the Millennium Dome in London. Investigated for nepotism.

MOTORHEAD - Very noisy maniacal beat-combo. Singer brought P.G. Wodehouse to a mass audience and has played every major fruit machine in Britain.

NIRVANA - Legendary 3-piece scruffs from Seattle with low clothing allowance. Comprised Krist Novoselic and 2 other musicians. Sang about underarm deodorant

OZZY OSBOURNE - Soap star and doting father to two hideous children. Famous for appearing with long-lost twin in 'I Can't Believe it's not Butter' commercial.

PINK FLOYD - Named after two of their blues heroes. No apparent evidence of any blues influence in their music but depressing nonetheless. Bassist kept mentioning the War but got away with it.

QUEEN - Ripped off Chic bassline and got played on Wayne's World. Also got stuck at No.1 for 9 weeks. Now an itinerant tribute band cashing in on past glories

RAINBOW - Also bossed by Ritchie Blackmore, who either sacked or completely brassed off some of the best in the business. Band eventually disappeared somewhere over itself, or up itself. Blackmore now major exporter of straw bales to mainland Europe.

SLADE - Played every day in Department stores at closing time in December to encourage customers to pay up and get out. Originally were a skinhead band but converted to Glam Rock. Still provided inspiration for their followers to fight with T.Rex fans

THIN LIZZY - Travelling Irish folk band. Produced one of the best live albums ever recorded in a studio. Now an itinerant tribute band cashing in on past glories, it's a modern trend.

UFO - Mainly English band who have mainly been beaten up by singer at one time or another. Boasted one of the most inefficient, unreliable Germans in history.

VAN HALEN - Famous school of Dutch artists, fond of M&M's, jumping around and mugging at camera. Sorted out by Southern redneck in the 80's. Also accused of nepotism.

WHITESNAKE - Multi-national corporation owned by English millionaire. Attend frequent marketing showcases. Ex-employees still produce vintage product.

XTC - Apparently never completed plans for Nigel. Still in process.

YES - Made LP's to strengthen the back of Roger Dean artwork to prevent the picture creasing. Singer's voice still to break. Keyboard player produced 'King Arthur on Ice' which was an astonishingly successful disaster.

ZZ TOP - Men in cowboy hats who wear false beards in public. Never order soup in restaurants.

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    • Shinkicker profile image
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      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      Hi N.O.Y.B

      You're an idiot

    • profile image

      None of your business 5 years ago

      You guys are fucking ridiculous! who the hell do you think you are making fun of some of the greatest rock legends in history?!? Pink floyd created the wall which to this day is still considered a legacy left behind by a legend. Their music isn't depressing...it's the blunt and honest truth. You are just afraid to look it in the face and believe it is really happening. Aerosmith? Thin lizzy? Zz top? How dare you badmouth them when they have given america some it's greatest hits. Steven Tyler has done a lot for them. So next time before you go bashing these rock bands I suggest you reseach them first.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks for reading mate :-)

    • TheHeavyReview profile image

      TheHeavyReview 5 years ago

      Haha this is great! Thanks for the laugh... voted up and funny!

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

      Thanks brother, keep on rockin! LOL.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      Absolutely Ron. Kraftwerk had a few hits in the UK including a No.1 single.

      Thanks for the link

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

      Just wanted to let you know I finally did get to see the Hawkwind video and a couple others of theirs. I like them they're different. They remind me of this German group called Kraftwerk. Have you ever heard of them?

      https://hubpages.com/entertainment/KRAFTWERK-AUTOB...

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      I get that sometimes with Youtube Ron. But I suppose if you just type the keywords 'Hawkwind' and 'Silver Machine' you should get the song.

      Cheers

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

      Thanks Shinkicker. I tried clicking on that link and it wouldn't work. It says something about the uploader hasn't authorized that video to be seen in my country.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      Welcome back Ron :-)

      The definition is a broad brush. For me Classic Rock derives from Sabbath, Zep and Purple but it covers a lot of ground. XTC were more a new wave band in the post Punk era. Hawkwind have a loyal cult following but their big hit was 'Silver Machine' Check it out. That is a classic!!!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYv2n-hRsa0&ob=...

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

      I had to check this out again. I had overlooked that some of your choices are not what I would consider classic rock like Nirvana who I think came out in the late 80s or early 90s and a couple others who I believe are heavy metal like Motorhead and XTC. I never heard of Hawkwind. But I think you hit the nail on the head with the others.

    • Shinkicker profile image
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      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      Cheers unnamedHarald

      Hard to get a laugh out of Radiohead. But a band that I love anyway.

      Thanks for reading and commenting

    • UnnamedHarald profile image

      David Hunt 5 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

      Hilarius! Voted up, funny and interesting. If only Radiohead had made the list-- I wonder what their entry would have looked like.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Great list and great humor to go with it. This was a lot of fun to read and Loved most of them in the day.

    • portie123 profile image

      portie123 6 years ago

      cool artist and bands man come check out my hub it talks about classic rock well it was my first hub

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Hello Hammer, I'm from : Glasgow Alex Harvey, Frankie Miller, Maggie Bell. etc etc etc :-)

    • profile image

      Hammer57 7 years ago

      Great work Shinkicker. The A-Z concept a terrific touch!

      Wherabouts in Scotland?

      I have a buddy here in Canada from near Edinburgh.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Slade were my first love mcacreate, legends. ELP were one of the best of the 'Supergroup' class, how could I possibly ridicule them? :-)

      Thanks for stopping by.

    • mcacreate profile image

      mcacreate 7 years ago

      I agree with camlo about Slade. I even bought their "latest" album released in the 80s, I forget the name of it. But you missed my favorite, Emerson, Lake & Palmer. But like you said, you could do a whole new list. Good hub.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Willdo music messenger, thanks

    • music messenger profile image

      music messenger 7 years ago

      Good hub. I agree with your list. I have music reviews and info on my hubs. Swing by and let me know what you think!

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks P-I

      The memories remain, just back from Donington. Lots of Classic Rock on show

    • Property-Invest profile image

      Property-Invest 7 years ago from London

      Brings back memories!

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      I love all the bands Richie but I don't mind taking the Mickey now and again.

      Cheers for stopping by

    • Richieb799 profile image

      Richieb799 7 years ago from Cardiff, Wales UK

      Some great bands mentioned in here, Nirvana, Zeppelin & Aerosmith, great additions :)

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Awesome music zzron, thanks for reading.

      All the best and thanks for the link my friend

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 7 years ago from Houston, TX.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Hello habee

      Yes! Many great memories, although I'll be seeing Motorhead and Aerosmith among others next week at Donington. Still going strong.

      You Can't Kill Rock n' Roll :-)

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 7 years ago from Georgia

      Ah...the memories! Enjoyed this!

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks Doire60

      Glad you enjoy them.

      Cheers

    • Doire60 profile image

      Doire60 7 years ago from Cleator Moor

      Haven'y been on hubpages for a while now I can't leave, enjoying your hubs very entertaining.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Cheers nextstopjupiter, they're all favourites of mine but I like to take the micky now and again :-)

    • nextstopjupiter profile image

      nextstopjupiter 7 years ago from here, there and everywhere

      Great selection, includes some of my favorite bands, and some interesting comments!

    • nextstopjupiter profile image

      nextstopjupiter 7 years ago from here, there and everywhere

      Great selection, includes some of my favorite bands, and some interesting comments!

    • quicksand profile image

      quicksand 7 years ago

      They caused a turning point indeed! :)

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Muchly gooder indeed, didn't they invent the Blues? :-)

    • quicksand profile image

      quicksand 7 years ago

      Haaarh!!! Pensioners? LOL! They're pioneers! A thousand times gooder than the present day "musicians!" :)

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Hi quicksand, I could do a whole new alphabet :-)

      Couldn't pick the Stones though, can't be cruel to pensioners

    • quicksand profile image

      quicksand 7 years ago

      Led Zep? Sure! How come you left out The Rolling Stones, Jethro Tull, Chicago ... Three Dog Nite ... ?

      :) Cheers!

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 7 years ago from malang-indonesia

      Aerosmith, Deep purple, eagle and genesis are my favorite. They are really legend for me. And their song wouldn't disappear by the time.

    • Coolmon2009 profile image

      Coolmon2009 7 years ago from Texas, USA

      You included the Eagles, Van Halen and ZZ Top good listing

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Hi Wayne, haven't seen Rockstar , heard it's really good.

    • Wayne Orvisburg profile image

      Kenneth Wayne 7 years ago from Alabama

      Judas Priest. Just watched Rock Star the other night and have been meaning to listen to Judas Priest. That's where the concept of the movie came from.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Glad you liked it rommta, I like to share new music with folk.

    • rommta profile image

      rommta 7 years ago

      Good list Sh?nkicker and it was nice to read. Many good bands and few I have never heard about so I will go to youtube to find some of their songs.

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Cheers Mr Muscle

      Phil Lynott was a Rock God, much missed

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 7 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      wow... I'm impressed you got Thin Lizzy on there... great list, and funny comments!!!

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Glad you enjoyed it Citrus

    • profile image

      Citrus000 7 years ago

      :-D This hub made me laugh as each review was funnier than the one before it. Thank you. Have fun and take care. :)

    • Shinkicker profile image
      Author

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Cheers for the comments. Happy New Year lads

    • camlo profile image

      Camlo De Ville 7 years ago from Cologne, Germany

      Hi Shinkicker!

      Enjoyed this -- especially the Slade entry.

      All the best, Camlo

    • SimeyC profile image

      Simon Cook 8 years ago from NJ, USA

      *grin* pretty accurate!