PADDY O'REILLY - IRISH HUMOR by robert hewett sr.
Paddy O’Reilly was handsome man to be seen,
Katie O’Reilly, a fiery red haired queen.
Three wee ones ages 1,2 and 3.
A modest home where they could see the sea.
Paddy O’Reilly worked hard all week,
No man was better, beside him they were weak.
Katie says “Paddy you come with your check,
The wee ones need food and milk to drink.
Paddy O’Reilly told her that he would be home;
That he would not stop at the Pub alone.
One way home he met Farmer Brown
Who looked at Paddy with a big frown.
“You go home to the wee ones, Paddy O’Reilly,”
Farmer Brown said ever so dryly.
Paddy O’Reilly intended to do just that,
But as he passed the Pub he doffed his hat.
Inside the Pub, Paddy O’Reilly was floating high.
He raised his glass and gave a sigh.
He drank it all as easy as pie.
The he made a toast to all nearby.
(“Here’s to myself and all of my clan.
I can out drink and outfight any other man.
Have another round on me my friends,
I am generous by nature, I never offend.”)
Paddy O’Reilly headed for the door,
Not too steady but covering the floor.
“Watch out for the Sprites and the bogs Paddy”,
Cried his barroom buddies loudly chanting.
Paddy O’Reilly wobbled down the road singing a song.
Out of the night came three little figures fluttering along,
Getting in his face and heard to whisper.
“You are bad Paddy O’Reilly, a very bad mister.”
“You spend your money on malt and liquor,
While Katie and the wee ones wait as the candles flicker.”
“Get away from me you silly little creatures.
I am not afraid of your ugly features.”
Paddy O’Reilly swatted left and right
As he stumbled off the path in the poor light.
It was soft underfoot and held him tight.
He was in the bog and not a pretty sight.
“Help me”, he cried out in fear,
Hoping somebody who could hear was near.
Farmer Brown, in his wagon, was passing by.
He saw Paddy in bog and gave a big sigh.
“Paddy O’Reilly, why should I help you?
“Maybe it’s better to let you sink through
To the bottom of the bog, just the devil and you.
If I help you there two things you must do.
Never drink again and go to church too.
Be faithful to Katie and to the wee ones be true.
“I promise, I promise”, Paddy O’Reilly did shout.
Farmer Brown threw a rope and pulled Paddy out.
Farmer Brown left church the very next Sunday,
Thanked the Priest and then asked him bluntly.
“Was that Paddy O’Reilly that I saw in the choir?”
“Indeed it was Farmer Brown, and a lovely tenor chair.
He gave up drink and now his home is wonderful bliss.
Katie and the wee ones are happy with this.
Paddy O’Reilly has changed, but they don’t know why”.
“I know”, said Farmer Brown, with a smile very wry.
Robert Hewett Sr