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Adam Lambert Grinds A Man's Face Into His Crotch

Updated on November 25, 2009

I think I'm entirely desensitized to shock footage, because as I watched Adam Lambert set himself up for a workplace harassment lawsuit by grabbing a man in a gimp suit and thrusting his hips towards his helpless face, all I could think of was that the sound levels were just awful. Thank god for the fact that Adam had the presence of mind to assault a back up dancer, because if he hadn't, more people might have noticed that they couldn't hear a word he was singing.

I don't follow American Idol, but I know Adam was one of the more popular contestants and definitely won a George Foreman grill and a three legged cat or something like that. After all the furore and having his eyeliner splashed face plastered across every magazine in sight, I had expected some kind of stunning performance from dear gay Adam. A tear jerking, Susan Boyle type performance, the kind of performance where the audience stands and bursts into spontaneous applause, simultaneously uplifted and ashamed at themselves.

But hearing Adam perform on the AMA's was just disturbing. His voice was kind of flat, had a weird tinny quality to it, and the bulk of his performance seemed to rely upon snarling into the microphone every chance he got, as if the act of singing words were so very primal he just might transform into a wolf there and then.

Adam Lambert isn't the worst singer I've ever heard. I'm far worse, but the kid isn't world class. Even on Britney Spears' most drugged up, barely able to walk days she could blow him out of the water, and Britney Spears isn't so much a singer as she is a pop marionette.

So what's the upshot of all of this? Well, I'm actually beginning to think that the USA is more pro gay than they give themselves credit for. Sure, you can't marry your lover, and people will act as if they are incensed by the very concept of two male bodies being pressed together for any reason other than perfectly hetero grinding a la wrestling, but evidently being gay will help you win entertainment based reality tv singing shows in spite of the fact that you're really just kind of shouting words whilst waggling your pelvis and flashing your deep dark eyes at every guy and gal in a 90 mile radius.

Oh, and yeah, he kissed a guy. They tell me gay men will do that sort of thing.


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      Cal 7 years ago

      What's your problem? He's just being true to himself, you're the gay one.

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      Shawn 8 years ago

      Adam is so cool.

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      Writer Rider 8 years ago

      I figured that it was planned. Maybe I'm wrong but that's one hell of a coming out performance (no one needs to question his sexuality now)! Something he should have attempted later in his career rather than right away when he's making a career for himself (leaves him vulnerable). Knowing theater, though, the dancer's face was probably near the crotch, not touching it.