All My Children -- June 17, 2013
How dumb is Uri?
There are a legion of dumb Uri jokes one could tell. Jesse knows the Russian nitwit is not dead. He knows Zach didn't do it. Yet he thinks Jesse will keep his mouth shut if Uri kills his daughter. That's how dumb Uri is. Of course, knowing Jesse, it may work, since he's not the brightest bulb in the package either. He may let this turkey call the shots because he doesn't have the guts to owning up to the fact he sold out a friend and compromised his job. Although I wouldn't mind Jessie being the ex-Chief of Police, then Dixie would lose her own private little cop who arrests whomever she points a finger at.
But seriously when you start making crazy Billy Clyde look smart that's how dumb you truly are. Anyway, it was Angie and Jessie's place Dumb Uri had Cassandra dropped off. But before he let her go, the pig had her shot up with heroin hoping Angie and Jessie would come home and find her dead. This is what I mean about Dumb Uri. This freak seriously thought if he killed his daughter, Jessie would keep his mouth shut about him being alive. On what planet does this dimwit live on, anyway. Planet Stupid it seems.
Also coming from that planet is Agent Lea. She apparently knows nothing about Zach's past, and yet she's investigating him for money laundering. Isn't one of the first thing you would do in regards to someone you're investigating is do a background check on them?This is the same problem I have with the writers of Pretty Little Liars. Yeah, I get they want to drag this out for as long as possible, but they could write the girls as smart and doing basic smart stuff to try and uncover A's identity. Unfortunately, as written, they're dumber than a box of rocks.
Lucky for Cassandra that David drops by to see Angie. Dumb Uri's dumb henchman left the front door open, so David was able to walk in and find Cassandra. He kept her alive until the paramedics could arrive. Do you think Jessie even thanked David for saving his daughter? Heck, no. Do you think anyone will give David any credit for saving Cassandra's life? Heck, no. Jessie seriously needs to stop shooting the death ray looks at David. Dude, after what you've done and if you continue to let Zach fry for a crime you know he didn't commit, you aint any better.
I guess they're going with Billy Clyde actually winning the lottery. He called Palmer's tailor over and ordered him to make a suit just like Palmer used to wear. BC seems really kind of obsessed with Being Palmer Cortlandt. In the preview for Wednesday's show it looks like someone wants to buy Palmer's mansion and I'd bet money it was Billy Clyde. I wonder if he'll also set his sights on Opal, being she was Palmer's wife, since he wants everything that Palmer had. It's not like Opal was any better than BC in the day. If it did happen, wouldn't Dixie just have a fit. Of course, if BC totally makes himself over and no one recognizes him she might not know who he is.
Speaking of which, under that handlebar mustache is it possible the man of Celia's nightmares might actually be Billy Clyde. Celia had another nightmare and when she talked to Heather about it, it didn't sound like it was her guardian, who she doesn't even seem to know what he looks like. It sounded like the man was someone who did something to him.
This is going way into the annals of All My Children history but didn't Estelle have Billy Clyde's daughter, but she passed it off as Benny Sago's? I may be remembering wrong, but if I'm remembering right could BC's kid be Celia? I seem to remember some girl with curly black hair. Maybe that was his daughter. I think her name was Emily Ann. But it would be quite the shocker if BC has a makeover and he turns out to be the man of Celia's nightmares. If so, maybe that will appease the people complaining about Celia and saying if they can't do anything with her story they should get rid of her. It would be hilarious if BC was the mysterious guardian. It might explain why he's so strict, since he knows the underbelly of life and just how a man can lead a woman astray.
Pete's other chick, Colby, was still dirtying up his sheets, when Opal entered and got the unpleasant shock of her life. I thought Pete took his cheap trick to a motel, I didn't know he was doing that under Opal's roof. Eeeeeeeeeeeew! Pete got all respecting his privacy, and I'm all why don't you respect your mother's house. As Colby was slinking out the door, Opal let her know she thought she was nothing but a cheap little gold digger, which the cheap little gold digger too offense to. Later, Pete declares there won't be a repeat perform with Trash Queen Colby, but he may not have asked Little Petey if he agrees with that decision.
While Opal loathes Colby, she's not any fonder of Celia it seems. She claims there's something dark inside of Celia. You know, Opal's starting to come off as one of those mother's who doesn't think anyone but herself is good enough for her baby boy. I hate to break it to Opal, but her baby boy aint that great.
Apparently, Kyle the kid at school who gave AJ the streroids wants them back since AJ isn't going to use them, so AJ asks them back from JR. Only JR has no intention of giving them back. He claims he threw them away. Thanks to Colby, JR later meets a connection that could score him more steroids. He's come to the mansion wanting that waste of space, Colby, to pay what she owes him. Seems she and her boyfriend took some of his product without paying for it. Thanks to David she's able to pay the man, but then she starts putting down JR for being a loser because he's taking too long to recover and is letting Brooke run everything. That she calls Brooke a bitch, proving that nasty mouth of hers can spew poison as well as go down on a guy. The really pathetic thing is Brooke gave this loser a chance to make a decent living, but she turned it down since it didn't fit in with her goal of being a high society hooker.
Finally, Miranda doesn't seem to happy that AJ and Heather are hitting it off because their fans of the same music group.