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American Idol Hollywood Week 1

Updated on June 30, 2013

Call Me!

Barry Manilow
Barry Manilow | Source

The Manilow Show

I've never blogged for American Idol, but I've got a lot of time on my hands these days. Who am I kidding? I'm just trying to justify the obscene amount of reality TV I consume. At least this way, I'm mixing my writing and lying on the couch. Besides, when we get down to the final episodes, I can look back and see how the winner has progressed. I noticed this week that I hardly remember anyone from week to week, so maybe this will help. Hollywood week is when the laughs end and the drama begins. Let's get some tears rolling!

Barry Manilow must have this show on speed dial. Why does he keep resurfacing to mentor these kids? Has the recession hit the Vegas strip so hard that he needs the extra cash on the side? How many of these contestants have even heard of Barry Manilow? Oh, Mandy.

It seems like they want to get people out of there with a quickness by cutting people immediately.

Anoop's My Boy!

Anoop on American Idol
Anoop on American Idol | Source

Do I Look Crazy To You?

Norman Mitchell on American Idol
Norman Mitchell on American Idol | Source

Meet The Contestants

Lil Rounds is one of the few people that I remember from the auditions. I like her and I hope she does well. Plus, she's got a famous-sounding name, so bring it!

Dennis should have just left without trying to sing his revenge. I hate when people try to be sassy, by challenging the judges by acting like they're in West Side Story. You just look like fools.

Can I just take a moment and dispute something that one of the kids said as they were wandering around Hollywood? You do not need a horse to go up to the Hollywood sign. You can hike up there, dude. There is a horse ranch at the bottom of the hill, but it's not the only way up there. Trust me.

I think Nathaniel needs some medication if he feels music on his skin and it's bursting out of him. That just ain't natural.

Go Anoop! I love him. I'm biased though, since he's from Chapel Hill.

Poor Rose, she has such a sad story. She will have a lot of people rooting for her, if she makes it to the voting round. She's a really genuine girl, and a good singer.

Michael Castro made it through the first round! I wish they would have showed his performance. Once again, I'm biased because I'm in love with his brother.

"You gonna take that big old bear on? You slayed it, dude. What?" Thank you, Randy. I love your nonsense babble.

I can't believe Von made it through. That guy doesn't sing, he shouts. He belongs on a stage...of a community theater.

Norman Mitchell is nuts. He could actually be a good singer, if he would tone down the crack addiction. I loved when he called out Seacrest on the balcony; that was my favorite part. Nick/Norman is kind of like Justin/Bobby from The Hills. I hope he doesn't turn out to be a huge assclown like him though.

Danny Gokey is another sad story. He kinda looks like a skinny Seth Rogen. He's a good singer too. His friend looks like a cartoon character to me, but I dug his outfit.

Bikini Girl is straight-up annoying. Even if she makes it far, people won't vote for her. She's a lot like Megan from Rock of Love. She thinks she's a lot better than she actually is. She loves to have the "music around her." I'd love for her to dance to that music right back home and off of my TV screen. Simon just adores her, and will probably keep her on for awhile. His vote seems to count more than everyone else's, and she makes for good TV. I thought it was inappropriate (and by inappropriate, I mean hilarious) when Cara made the comment that Bikini Girl should bring her pole next time. Love it!

I can't wait for group drama!

Does American Idol Need Simon Cowell To Survive?

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