Andy Griffith Show Would Still Be Airing With These 15 Plots
Andy Griffith Show capsuled history
The Andy Griffith Show was an American sitcom which aired on CBS from Oct. 3, 1960 to April 1, 1968, with a total of 249 half-hour episodes first in black-and-white, and then, in color, which partially originated from an episode of The Danny Thomas Show. The show starred country reared, Andy Griffith, who portrays the widowed sheriff of the fictional small town of Mayberry, N.C. His life is complicated by an inept but well-meaning deputy, Barney Fife (Don Knotts), Aunt Bee (Frances Bavier), a spinster aunt and housekeeper, and Opie (Ron Howard), a precocious young son. Griffith said that despite a contemporary setting, the show evoked nostalgia, stating in a Today Show interview: "Well, though we never said it, and though it was shot in the 1960s, it had a feeling of the 1930s. It was, when we were doing it, of a time gone by."
Two more "Andy" regulars
Out of respect for you, my followers
The brief biography (at top of this piece) of The Andy Griffith Show should be more than sufficient. In all honesty, the vast majority of America knows a lot about or everything about this meteoric show that captivated us from the time it aired until it went off the air in 1968. I remember when the show left CBS. I was mysteriously overwhelmed with sadness for I felt as I had just lost a dear friend. Truth be told, I did. And most of America did too.
"Andy" could have been saved
I have one pressing regret. I wish that laptop computers had been invented around April 1, 1968 along with the Internet so I could present "my" audience-friendly storylines to Aaron Ruben, the script supervisor for The Andy Griffith Show and between Mr. Ruben and myself, "we" two could lay claim to being the "saviors" of one of America's favorite sitcoms. In short, keep this priceless slice of television on the air.
I know that you are just squirming with anticipation, so for your reading pleasure, here is my headline:
More Mayberry regulars and visitors
Would my plots have kept The Andy Griffith Show on the Air?
Even more "Andy" regulars and guest stars
Attention Mayberry Fans: What was your favorite episode?
15.) "Fred Plumber Returns": In a black and white episode, Barney has a run-in with an employee from Foley's Grocery, Fred Plumber, who Barney tickets for neglecting his three orders to not sweep trash in the street in front of Foley's Grocery. Plumber threatens Barney by saying, "The next time I catch you not wearing your uniform, I'm going to break every bone in your body," so Barney wears his deputy's uniform everywhere he goes to keep Plumber from following through on his threat.
Andy steps in without Barney knowing it and gets Barney's Judo instructor, Mr. Yamamoto, in Mount Pilot to act as Barney on the night of the Harvest Ball Dance and walk down toward Foley's Grocery and give Plumber a dose of Judo who Plumber will think that it is Barney in his salt and pepper suit "just right for dipping," as Barney describes it to Andy, and the trouble will be over.
Now it is years later and Fred Plumber is back in Mayberry after running into someone who was in the Judo studio on the evening that Andy talked with Mr. Yamamoto about acting as Barney and tells Fred the real truth, so Fred is now more upset than ever with Barney and is out for blood.
Plumber gets right to the point without wasting time. He walks into the courthouse where Barney is working alone while Andy is on vacation with Helen (this is after their marriage) and Barney is in a tight spot for he cannot see himself fighting a man as big as Fred Plumber.
The guest star on this episode is none other than Clint Walker, the very athletic man who played as western hero, "Cheyenne Body," and now starring as "Knucks Malone," and is staying a few days in Mayberry to rest up from his boxing tour.
I think that I have given away too much as it is, so you will have to watch to see how the problem between Fred and Barney is solved . . .this time.
14.) "Gomer's Girlfriend": In a color version of The Andy Griffith Show, Goober was smitten by Flora in the Mayberry Diner, but she had eyes only for Andy, so in this episode, it's Gomer who is somehow the unwitting victim of a confidence job engineered by a very pretty girl who buys gasoline at Wally's Station where Gomer works.
Gomer's emotions are set on fire with the pretty blond's fake compliments and flirting ways, but he doesn't know that she and a male accomplice are making big plans to rob the gas station one night and then robbing other places of business in Mayberry on the information Gomer gives his pretty admirer during a few dates he has with her.
Andy tries to help Gomer see the truth about her when he sees her sitting in the Mayberry Diner having coffee and even smoking a cigarette (taboo for a woman on the Andy Griffith Show, but these plots are set in a more-tolerant time frame) with a rough-looking man wearing a leather jacket. Andy's suspicions are that Gomer is being used for something, but he cannot figure what.
Barbie: "Ohhh, Gom-ah, how many soda pops did you say you could drink at one time?"
Gomer: "Haw, haw. Well, if I'm real thirsty, I have drunk as many as eight one atter the other!"
Barbie: "Ohhh--eeeee, what a man you are, Gom-ahh! So strong, handsome, and can drink eight soda pops without stopping. Ohh-eee, I am in love for shoah."
Will Gomer see the truth? Or will this "blond bombshell" and her partner succeed in fleecing Mayberry? You will have to tune in to find out.
13.) "Andy: Not Superman": When Andy is summoned to go into the hills to help The Darlings Family find Charlene who has mysteriously disappeared, Charlene runs up on Andy deep into the woods and thinks that Andy is still sweet on her and is there to find her to marry her away from Dud Wash who with the Darlings boys and Brisco, her pa, searching for her.
When Brisco and the boys find Andy, he and Charlene are hold up in the mouth of a cave embraced (to keep warm) by a campfire. It appears to Brisco's eyes that Andy DOES have secret feelings of romance for Charlene and this sets off yet another misunderstanding that has Dud getting angry at Andy as well as Barney and Gomer who Andy told to stay in Mayberry while he "settles this thang with the Darlings," as he explains to the two. Both Gomer and Barney now with Brisco and the Darlings boys are upset at Andy for leading Charlene on with his manly charms and worldly looks and out of her legally-wed husband, Dud.
Brisco: "Sheriff, I tell you something. I am an aged man and have seed a lot of thangs over the time I have walked this here earth, but you, a honored man of the law, acted like you married Charlene and Dud rightly and legal before the Lord, only to steal her away by getting her lost in these here woods."
Gomer: "Pardon me, Mr. Darling, for speaking, but I've been going at gettin' girls the hard way. All this time all I had to do was get lost in the woods and a pretty girl would chase me down. Shazam!"
Barney: "Yeah, Ange. Tell us how you, the know-it-all nature guru got himself lost in these woods. Tough to believe, old friend."
Andy: "Now . . .now, uhhh, see here, Mr. Darling, Gomer, Barney. I know that what this looks like is me luring Charlene into these woods to court her and you finding us in each other's arms is mighty suspicious too, but ya' have to believe that I am the one who was lost. Not Charlene."
Barney: "Let's go, Gomer, Nothing more here for us to do. This is between Andy and Mr. Darling."
Gomer: "Shazam! That's the smartest thing you've ever said, Barn!"
You can tell by this dialogue example that things might get a bit serious for Andy before things get better.
12.) "Goober's Day in The Sun": This hilarious treatment of The Andy Griffith Show will have Griffith fans rolling in the aisles. It is a simple matter of how one man who did one compassionate act for someone else and then was built up on a pedestal too high can lead to a deadly dose of pride.
The opening scene says it all. Goober, Andy, Mr. Shwamp, and Barney are all sitting on the bench in front of the courthouse just passing the time away talking when the sound of two men arguing down the block is heard. Andy, being the caring sheriff, gets up to find out what is going on, but he hears the phone inside the courthouse ring, so he dispatches Barney to check out why the two men are arguing.
Without being asked, Goober starts to walk with Barney and Barney, not liking to confront anyone who appears mean and angry, is appreciative of Goober's assistance. When the two find the two men arguing about a car deal gone bad, Barney tries desperately to defuse the situation, but the two men are much bigger and probably better at taking care of themselves.
Barney steps between the two men who are yelling and one man takes a wild swing at him. Barney ducks to avoid being slugged, but Goober somehow moves quickly enough to push the bully to the ground saving Barney the embarrassment of having a black eye.
By now, a crowd has gathered as well as Andy who investigates what has happened. Before Barney can speak, Floyd tells Andy what a hero Goober was in taking care of these mean men giving Goober the spotlight and neglecting Barney who was between them before Goober managed to shove the biggest man to the ground.
Later in the episode, Barney protests about Goober getting all of the credit, but Andy, Floyd and the regulars laugh at Barney for "being the only lawman who took down a vicious bully while sitting on his butt on the sidewalk." Barney gets his ego crushed and Goober has taken on a prideful attitude even to the point of thinking himself to be invincible.
Example: Goober is walking down the sidewalk heading to the courthouse. He sees a young boy about the age of nine, just standing near the outside produce stands at Foley's Grocery. Goober sees this as another opportunity to prove his ability to stop trouble in its tracks.
Goober: "What you doin' here, trying to steal yourself a few apples?"
Boy: "No, sir. I am just . . ." (Goober interrupts)
Goober: "I know your type. You may look cute, but you are really a thief. Now get out of here before I have to get rough with you."
This causes the boy to cry after Goober's chest swells with pride and walks off. The boy was only waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store and when her son tells her about Goober's abusive attitude, she reports this to Andy who questions Goober and finds that it might be a mild misunderstanding.
Barney: "Goober's actions make sense, Andy. Goober's pride is now inflated because everyone gave him all of the credit for causing the two men on the sidewalk to stop arguing and now he is big headed."
Andy: (Laughs big): "Now Barney, I wish that you'd stop trying to steal the spotlight from Goober. There'll be other things for you to stop and then you will be built up just like Goober."
The ending will not only surprise, but delight you in how Andy unravels this complicated problem.
11.) "Andy's Mind Games": Now that the Andy Griffith Show has extended into the mid-1960's, the stress of being sheriff of Mayberry has become a real job thanks to the many strange changes in society outside of Mayberry. Now Andy and Barney have to deal with drug pushers, anti-war protesters aside from catering to Otis, still the town drunk. One uneventful morning, Barney reports for work only find Andy just sitting quietly in his chair behind his desk staring at the floor.
Barney: "Morning, Ange."
Andy: "Excuse me, officer. Can I help you?"
Barney: "Okay, Andy. I'm not in the mood for your pranks. Today is a big day for us. Mayor Simp Pike (Mayor Pike's son who grew up to be elected mayor) is expecting some pre--tty big company, a special investigator from the F.B.I. looking into the growing problem of moonshining here in Mayberry."
Andy: "I'm not fooling around, mister." "I've got two questions and I'll ask the second one first." "Are you the new game warden?" And "What are you talking about?
Suddenly, Andy hops up, rushes to get his guitar and proceeds to say. "Hey, new game warden. Care to join me? You know what they say, music hath charms. "Ohh, John Hen--ry was a little ba--bayee, a-sittin' on his mammy's knee. When he picked up a hamm-uh and a little piece of steel said this hamm-uh'll be the death o' me, Lawd, Lawd. This hamm-uh'll be the death o' me . . ."
Barney: "Andy! Your memory is coming back. For a minute there I was scared, but only for a minute. With my experience, I could have handled 'er--meeting with Mayor Simp Pike, the F.B.I. agent and getting the country nurse, that pretty girl, Peg, to check you see what give you "tramnessia."
In walks crusty, stingy B. William Weaver, Ben Weaver's only son who took over Weaver's Dept. Store.
Barney: "Well, good morning, B. William. What can we do for you?"
B. William: "Well, instead of lolly-gaggin' here and wasting my tax money on your salaries, you might see who's making that moonshine I saw Otis Campbell a sluggin' in the alley beside the Mayberry Security Bank an hour ago."
Andy: "Mr. new game warden, who is this annoying "pain in the butt?" "Haw! Haw!"
Barney: "Andy! That is no way to speak to Mr. B. William Weaver for his dad, Ben, and now him, have had Weaver's Dept. Store in Mayberry for over 45 years."
Andy: "Okay then. Mr. Merchant, want me to play "Wreck of The Ol' 97?"
Barney: "B. William, you got to look over Andy. He's having a, (uhhh, choke), memory problem. I am trying to find out a good doctor to take him to."
B. William: "Memory problem? Baaaah! He had mind enough to give that Bert Miller a stand with a roof on it in that vacant lot a few years ago and made my dad hire him to work for me. I've always said that Andy and Bert were in cahoots against my dad"
Otis stumbles into the courthouse after "getting a snootful" like B. William Weaver explained to Andy and Barney.
Andy: "Hey, now! New game warden, why is this old geezer a stumbling like a three-legged cow?"
Barney: "Andy, please! This is Otis. We've been letting him lock himself up and sleeping off his liquor binges for years. Otis, come on and get in your cell. Andy is just experiencing a case of ramnesia."
Otis: "I had a bottle of that a few Christmas Days ago. Didn't (burp! cough) taste like "shine," but it shore got me three sheets in the wind."
So that pretty much sets-up this earth-moving plot. Barney has to assume the duties of sheriff, keep Andy settled down as to not cause trouble with his amnesia and deal with finding Andy a therapist with the help of Aunt Bea, Helen, and Mayor Simp Pike.
10.) "Barney Times Two": This will be a first for The Andy Griffith Show. Don Knotts who plays Barney Fife, unbeknownst to him, has a twin brother whom his parents never told him about for his twin brother being too much trouble to handle when he was a teen. Now that "Franky "Fang" Fife," the twin brother of Barney, shows up in Mayberry, you can count on the usual high jinks as the real Barney gets accused of smoking cigarettes in public, taking a snort with Otis in the alley beside the courthouse and Barney getting the blame. Andy is in a pickle whether to let Barney go due to the many complaints about his behavior or just give him a month off for a "good, laung rest," as Andy says to Aunt Bea. The highlight of this episode is when "Fang Fife" encounters "Chooney," and "Jess," the two town loafers who are always picking at Barney and with two of their comical insults, "Fang" takes them both out with his fancy boxing skills. This is a must-see for Mayberry fans.
9.) "Opie, The Hippy": Yes, "The Love Generation," Flower Power and hippies have now begun to influence the all-American city of Mayberry and how Opie responds to a couple of hippies who are only hitch-hiking through Mayberry and how they live is the foundation for one of the most dramatic Andy Griffith Shows of all time.
Opie: "Pa, Aunt Bea. I have an announcement to make."
Andy: "What is it, Op? You taking up again with Mary Alice Carter?"
Opie: "No, Pa. That is so kid stuff. I am going down to see Mr. Sprague and get my name changed. Then I am going to put some moves on Helen Crump. Can ya' dig it? I had this heavy crush on her in grade school and man, you would never open your mind to my feelings."
Aunt Bea: "Ohhhhh, gasp! Choke! I feel faint." "It was that Jessie and Clifford's fault, I tell you--getting Opie dragged into that worldy, ungodly rocky music band that time. Ohhh, why, Opie? Why?"
Andy: "A name change? What are you thinking, Opie? Your name is a good name and your mother named you before she passed away. Why, Opie?"
Opie: "Well, according to "Cool Larry," and "Sunshine Suzy," the two hippies you and Barney ran out of town opened my eyes to the fact that the police, and even you and Barney are pigs!"
Andy: "Pigs? Opie! Are you smoking them "Devil's Cigarettes," that I confiscated from those two hippies?" From what I know about them smokes, you smoke enough of them and you'll see all kinds of colored elephants, flying cars and singing alligators." "Mighty foolish, you smoking them thangs. Mighty foolish."
Aunt Bea: "And-eeee, call the doctor. I feel funny in my head." (Spoiler of sorts: Aunt Bea has accidentally snacked on some "weed" that the two hippies stashed in the left-over muffins Aunt Bea gave them while Andy was holding them in jail long enough to get their backgrounds.)
Opie: "The world is changing, Pa and a kid with a name like Opie, well, I will never get anywhere when I drop-out of school, so I not only want a tough, manly name, but a name that signals sensitivity and peace to everyone I meet while I am out there in the world soaking up nature, growing my hair about oh, three inches over my ears and wearing a pair of sunglasses. In short, pa, I want to be called "J.D. 'Big John' Taylor."
Aunt Bea: "Ohhh, my word, Andy. Why is the strange world outside of Mayberry trying to poison your son and my nephew? Long hair. "J.D." "Big John," Taylor and dropping out of school." "Why don't you go see Howard Sprague tomorrow and get his input on this very serious problem." "It's that Clifford's fault I tell you. The long haired smart alec who is trying to bring that rocker 'n roll to Mayberry and forcing our Opie, or "J.D.," to use those awful amplifiers. An-deeeee, hurry! Maybe a jar of Clara's pickles would help me feel better. She's won a blue ribbon for them 12 years running."
Andy: "Op, errr, J.D., you want to drop-out of school? Get a name change? Opie, errr, "J.D. Taylor," son, you are in need of some serious help. We've done our dead level best to raise you right and to be a proud, upstanding American. But I have to say "NO" to both of these foolish changes that will wreck this household if'fen I do not put a stop to them."
Opie: "Hey, man, you are bringing me down. And down is not my bag, so I will be crashed in my pad if you find out something from Howard. Another thing, Andy, hey, can you see that I have grown up by the way I call you by your first name? I plan on growing my hair longer than anyone here in these backward digs and smoke funny cigarettes and expand my mind." "Oh, and if that loser, Johnny Paul Jason should blow back over to the house, tell him I need those fifty skins I loaned him six months ago. I tell you, Andy, I just can't trust anyone."
Viewers will choose sides early in this one. The ending is one that you will not forget.
8.) "Free Love Helen?": This would be a ground-breaking, progressive plot for the morally-solid citizens of Mayberry. Andy returns to town after having to attend a three day, state-wide sheriff's conference in Raleigh and when he sees a suspicious-looking sports car sitting in front of Helen's house, his natural investigating skills kick in. Andy goes against every principle has stood for over the 24 years as sheriff of Mayberry. He starts his personal stake-out on Helen's house. He even wiretaps her phone. (These two acts were not lllegal in this time frame). Then two nights into the stake-out, Andy sees a man a few years younger than him enter Helen's house and all of the lights go off. Andy's imagination is running wide-open now and he cannot contain himself any longer. He throws open Helen's front door (without identifying himself as a police officer and without a search warrant) and finds Helen and "Joey," a college graduate of North Carolina in a compromising position. Andy is stunned.
Helen: "Now, Andy. Remember our pact about trust. You remember? It was that time when you lied to me about that pretty blonde lady lawyer, Lee Drake. Well, this is "Joey Goldman," my dad's nephew who is traveling across our country to find himself. And if you keep standing there in my floor with your face a blood red and getting mud on my clean floor from your shoes, I just might leave Mayberry and go with him because you, in the time we have known each other, have confused me as to who I am?"
Andy: "Helen! I don't care if he is with a traveling religion. You two were laying with your faces toward each other right there on your couch!" "You couldn't get a piece of tissue paper between the two of you!" "And as far as me confusing you, how would you act if you were in my shoes, huh? I tell you how you'd act. Violent! Insanely jealous. I know what I'm talking about. I am still amazed that you let me out of me agreeing to be castrated during our engagement--you arguing that me being emasculated would keep me from falling into lust with other women."
Helen: "Oh, Andy. You are such a drag. Get with it, man. "Joey" is also a Transcendental Yoga expert and he was teaching me how to relieve this strain I have had in my back for weeks. You have just got to believe me and if you don't, well, Andy, that's your bag." "I also wish Joey could do something with this pain in my neck--YOU!" "And as for that castration, sure, you can look at other women, but that's it. No talking, escorting them, or showing any sign of friendliness toward them or . . .I will beat you without mercy."
Oh, the fur will fly on this Andy Griffith episode. How do you think that this show will end?
7.) "Ernest T., The Millionaire": It had to happen one day. Ernest T. Bass, the "terror of Mayberry," whose rock-throwing and high-spirited behavior had to come to an end. One day a clean and polished Ernest T. rolls into Mayberry riding in the backseat of a 1967 Cadillac. And this one is not the governor's limousine. Eyes pop out and mouths open as Bass strolls into the courthouse to visit with Andy and Barney.
Bass: "Look at me. Who do you see? It's me! It's me. It's filhty rich Ernest T.!"
Barney: "Bass! Whaaaa? It is you. Okay, mister. Put 'em up! You must have stole that suit and big black limousine outside" "I bet it's really the governor's chauffeur who is illegally parked. I will hurry and write him out a parking ticket. Hey, I still have to do my job as a lawman."
Andy: "Now Barney. That's no way to treat a newly-bathed and shaved Ernest T. Bass. Hey, Ernest T., you look like a mllion dollars. I would take you to see Mrs. Wiley, but she passed on two years ago."
(Mr. Shwamp, now working for Andy as a janitor walks into scene sweeping the floor. All characters in the scene greet him and he goes back into the back room.)
Barney: "Say, Ernest T., just how did you come into all of these riches? Tell me, Bass. We do have our ways to make people talk."
Ernest T.: "Well, deputy, shuriff, it was like this. I worked for a few summers for Brisco Darling gathering boulders out of his cornfields and I saved the monies he give me. Honest, shurriff, I just wanted to be on his place so'z I could be near Charlene who I heard wuz dee-vorced."
Andy: "That's fine, Ernest T., no harm in a man doing hard work."
Ernest T.: "Well, shuriff, I sneaked into town two or three years ago for I wuz tared of chunking rocks at winders, and bought myself a thing called a municipal bond from the banker over at Mayberry Security Bank." Well, I had forgot that I had bought that bond thang and went about my business making money from Mr. Darling keeping them boulders out of his fields and one day a man wearing a suit walked up to the shack I was living in and told me that my bond was matured and it was worth over a half-million bucks. So I did what any bum in the hills would do. I cashed 'er in!"
Barney: "So now you are wealthy and richer than anyone in the hills? Even Mr. Darling and the boys?
Ernest T."Yep. Sure am. Now they works for me building me a new shack and digging a new water well and things are going sweeter than maple syrup."
What will Ernest T.'s new-found riches mean for Andy and Barney? You just have to watch this episode and find out with all of the rest of us.
6.) "The New Preacher": Mayberry's long-time preacher, Rev. Malcom Tucker, goes into a needed-retirement and moves to Raleigh to live near his grandchildren, so that means Mayberry's All Souls Church will be getting a new pastor. A young William Christopher, who did appear in the color versions of The Andy Griffith Show as the town's new doctor will start his time in Mayberry as "Dr. Jonas David," the pastor of All Souls Church, but he will not be as loving and caring as Rev. Tucker.
Andy and Aunt Bea invite Rev. Jonas to meet with them and a few key members of the church at a get-together at their home that night to get to know their new pastor.
Floyd: "Say, preacher. How long are your Sunday worship services? Just asking to get to know you better, and I like to have my lunch right on time at straight up noon on Sunday's."
Barney: "Yeah, me too, Floyd. I have that low sugar content in my blood. Say, Aunt Bea. Have you got any Mr. Cookie Bars?"
Rev. Jonas: "Well, Mister Lawson, I really don't see as that is any of your business. I don't mean to be short, but I studied long and hard in the seminary and I know when to shut up and when to keep going. You and the rest of my members just leave the preaching to me."
(Floyd's feelings are hurt right off).
And so are those of Clara Edwards', Thelma Lou (who does start attending church) and a few other members of All Souls church.
Andy: (speaking to members of the church who came to the get-acquainted meeting) "Well, now, I admit that he ain't no Reverend Tucker, but I think that if I were in his place--new in town and my first church, I would appreciate my first church being patient with me."
Aunt Bea: "Yes, you are right as usual, Andy, but did you see that look on his face when I mentioned new choir robes?"
Howard Sprague: "Now, Aunt Bea, we voted on that back and forth for months and the church building is still off on the left side by a good eight inches, but that excess water has made an excellent wishing well for the kids."
Aunt Bea: "How--ard! We are NOT talking about that issue any-moah. That idea you had when Rev. Tucker was here and with Andy's deciding vote, you had your way, but not this time. We ladies of the choir are not going to be bullied by this new preacher."
Drama? You ain't kidding. Will Andy let himself be drawn into Aunt Bea's gripe about robes, again? Only Aaron Ruben and myself know for sure.
5.) "Standing Your Ground": As was the standard of The Andy Griffith Show, we see the Taylors sitting on their front porch on a sunny Sunday morning watching others walk to church service at the All Souls Church. Then after some brief discussion from Andy, Aunt Bea to Opie about why he, Opie, has not met any of his relatives, Aunt Bea has a stroke of genius.
Aunt Bea: "Andy, I was just thinking how much I would enjoy cooking for a house full of our relatives so I want to write my baby sister, Nora and Uncle Ollie to spend a few days with us."
Opie: "Oh, boy. Adventure sleeping!"
Andy: "Nawww, son. That's just when city folks get stranded here in Mayberry and have to stay with us due to Wally not being open on Sundays. Well, Gomer is there to pump gas and put in air, but he don't fix 'em."
Aunt Bea: "I will write Nora tonight. I feel better already."
But when Uncle Ollie and Nora with their two boys arrive at The Taylors' house, Andy is instantly irritated by Ollie's know-it-all attitude about everything that comes up in conversations. Aunt Bea finds herself secretly regretting the invitation she sent to Nora, but is adjusting quite well.
Then the next morning in the courthouse, Ollie butts in and invites himself to check-out the rifles in the gun rack to Andy's protesting.
Andy: "Uhh, Uncle Ollie, leave those alone. They might be loaded."
Ollie: "Do you know who you are talking to? I taught you everything you know about guns. I was the one who taught you to shoot your first .22."
A man whom Andy gave a ticket for parking near a fire hydrant walks in to pay his ticket.
Ollie: "Who is this man, Andy?"
Andy: "I'll handle this, Ollie."
Ollie: "I am the sheriff's uncle. I taught Andy everything he knows."
Andy: "Uhh, Ollie. Why don't you go down to Martin's Lake? You can rent a canoe and fish for trout and besides, you are on vacation."
Ollie: "You are right. Think you can handle it here?"
Then Andy has had all he can stand out of Ollie. Andy rubs his chin swiftly, a dead give-away that he is about to "pop his cork," and he says to Ollie:
"Ollie, let me straighten you out. I never sent a letter to you or called for you to come down here and invade my space for days on end and put me through the wringer telling your windbag stories. So I suggest you get your obese butt into your car with Nora and your two devils you call sons and head back to Raleigh ."Ollie starts to speak, but Goober rushes into the courthouse with big news.
But I am not going to spoil it for you. Just tune in for "Stand Your Ground" next week on The Andy Griffith Show.
4.) "J.D.," War Protester": In this controversial episode, (controversial for their time), "J.D. 'Big John" Taylor," formerly known as Opie Taylor is caught up with the early news of the United States sending troops to the Vietnam conflict. He dropped out of Mayberry High before he went into the tenth grade and never entered college. In short, he bummed around Mayberry and slept where he could for as Andy told him in their last heated exchange, "J.D." or whoever you are, let me put it in plain terms. Either get back to school or go to work. You are not gonna live here and bum off of Aunt Bea and myself. Got that?"
But after some soul-searching, "J.D." has come to realize that he must stand for something in life and have a purpose, so he buys an authentic U.S. Army G.I. shirt and puts a black arm band on the right sleeve to show his protest against the Vietnam Conflict.
He drops in on Andy and Aunt Bea on a sunny Sunday afternoon in August. Andy, Aunt Bea, Helen, and Barney are glad to see him. Thelma Lou is not at Andy's house which is a mystery for she did not visit his home that much.
Andy:"Well, Op, errrr, what was that name you wanted, "J.D.?" Come on in and have your favorite: fried chicken. Just like when you were six and Aunt Bea had just moved in with us and she accidentally let "Dickie," your pet bird out of his cage while she cleaned it. Yes, son. Things will go back just like . . .
Andy is suddenly interrupted by "J.D.": "Pa, man, this scene never changes. Same old chicken. Same old house. Man, what a drag. I wanted to crash in my room . . .that is if you haven't turned it into a storage room."
Aunt Bea: "Opie, I mean, "J.D.," is that any way to talk to your fa-tha?"
Barney: "Yeah, son. I, uh, would have gotten my backside whipped if I even spoke one short word to my pop, "J.D."
Helen: "J.D.," have you given any consideration to your education? I know how you can take classes to help you graduate. It's a new thing I read about called G.E.D."
J.D.: "Naaah, Helen, that's cool. I am going to find work with Goober or with Weaver's Department Store or just do odd jobs like that English dude, Malcom Meriweather and not be tied down like you cats."
Andy: "What's that black arm band for? You get cut on the shoulder?"
J.D.: "Naaah, man, that's just my way to protest our nation's involvement with the Vietnam Conflict. I read last week that our State Department sent 50 or more advisors over there to South Vietnam to advise the South Vietnamese about how to defend their country. I can tell you since I am part of the "Now Generation," that Vietnam is no place for the U.S.A."
Barney: "Did you ever hear such Communist talk? And from Andy's only son at that!"
Andy Griffith fans, his is probably one of the most dramatic episodes to be broadcast. Things are changing quickly for the sleepy little town of Mayberry and some of its citizens.
3.) "Thelma Lou: Liberated Woman": Yes, it was time for things such as Women's Lib to come through the gates of Mayberry. And in this episode it came in quietly and came into Thelma Lou's home and life.
This episode opens with Barney and Thelma Lou sitting in a cozy booth at Marelli's restaurant out near the county line. This place is classy with its red checkered tablecloths and the management will even let you bring your own bottle in there too. A Gypsy violinist is standing over Barney and Thelma Lou and playing his heart out only to get a quarter from Barney as a tip.
Barney: "Did you ever? I mean did you hear that ugly mumbling he said to me when he walked away?"
Thelma Lou: "Yes, I did and I want to know, why did you do that Barney? I mean giving that poor man just a quarter."
Barney: "Hey, at least it wasn't a dime." "You are too picky, Thelma Lou."
Thelma Lou: " No, I mean why did "you" pay him when I could have paid him just as easy as you."
Barney: "What? You pay? Thel, you've forgotten your place. I am the man. I pay the tip and we can go dutch on the ticket like we always do."
Thelma Lou: "You are just like all men in this country--bull headed and insist on it being a man's way. Well, Mr. Fife, I am not in your hip pocket like you said to Gomer a few years ago. I am an empowered, independent woman. I am not your slave or servant. I am strong, talented and can do anything a man can do."
Barney: (in shock. That vein in his head is sticking out): "I don't believe it! I do not believe what I have just heard. You, a soft, sweet smelling woman, my woman, well, I don't mean I'm ready for marriage, but, that talk you just said is pre-ttt-yy harsh if you ask me, Thelma Lou."
Thelma Lou: "Not harsh, Barney. Truth. I am a person. Not a sex object. I should be equal pay for my work just like a man getting paid. It's time for women like me, Helen, and others of Mayberry to stand up and quit being kept in our places as you put it and be the person we are meant to me."
Barney: "I didn't say anything dirty. You want me to pay for ALL of tonight's meal? Is that it?"
Folks, if you thought that the "Fang, The War Protester," episode was controversial, then you need to watch this one and you might see Mayberry in a different light.
2.) "No Room in The Taylor Inn": This is a somewhat comical episode, but with a strong moral message. Strother Martin, legendary Hollywood actor, stars as a man down on his luck and is walking from Mount Pilot all the way to Florida to where he can find work to support himself. He has managed to make it as far as the Mayberry City Limits where a gung-ho Barney Fife just happens to be on patrol in that area and by seeing "Joseph O'Mary," Martin's character, he has nabbed a dangerous felon.
Meanwhile back at the home of The Taylors, Andy and Aunt Bea are having a serious discussion about how "they," the Taylors for some reason have always been "the" family in town for everyone to seek or call upon when help is needed. So Andy, being the head of the house along with being the bread winner, decides that enough is enough and declares, "No more bums, beggars, and tramps will be sleeping, eating, or staying here to sponge off of us and that is that."
Aunt Bea and Opie (before his name change) all but shout in agreement. But that jubilation is short-lived for Barney with "O'Mary" in custody stops at Andy's house to see what is to be done with his prisoner who has no means to support himself or buy a room at the Mayberry Motel.
We will see the Taylors, Barney, and key members of Mayberry townspeople see a strange change in the Taylor family and as Andy sees what's coming from Barney and meets him on the front sidewalk with a stern, "NO! Absolutely not, Barney. Enough of freeloaders. Got that?" To which Barney's feelings get hurt and "O'Mary" does see an ugly side of Andy Taylor whom other prisoners in the Mount Pilot jail said was a "decent, caring man."
Serious dialogue between Andy, Barney and "O'Mary," as well as Mayor Simp Pike, but the dilemma is soon solved and you will have to watch to see how.
1.) "Thelma Lou's Choice": Is really an upgraded version of the episode that starred Alan Hale, Jr. as "Big Jeff Pruitt," the heavy eating, fun-loving friend of Andy and Barney who came to town searching for a wife and decides that Thelma Lou is his girl. This causes Barney plenty of stress and jealousy, but Andy and Thelma Lou solve the dilemma and Pruitt leaves to go back to his farm and next door neighbor, Bertha.
In this version, Christopher George, ABC's "Rat Patrol," guest stars as "Vince Golden," a successful building contractor who graduated with Thelma Lou and had a bad crush on her but never told her before she left town. Yes, a terrible place to be if you are Barney Fife and think that you are Thelma Lou's only love.
But Thelma Lou is cautiously-tactful with Barney's feelings and does not hide the truth about "Vince," and explains why Barney never got a chance to meet him for "Vince" left the day before graduation to take a good job out west and that is where he began his successful career as a building contractor. Barney finds it in his heart to understand the situation, but we see how the jealousy is burning him up inside.
The script has dialogue like this to make things a bit comical and not stray from the dramatic affect.
Barney (rings doorbell at Thelma Lou's house): "You ready to go, Thel?"
Thelma Lou: "Uhh, well, Barney, yes, in a minute. Won't you come in. I got someone I want you to meet." "This is an old high school friend of mine, "Vince Golden," (who offers Barney his hand to shake) who is here for a short visit and to just catch up. "Vince," this is my good friend, Barney Fife, deputy sheriff of Mayberry." (Barney's face is rock hard with disgust).
Vince: "How do you do, Barney? "Cupie" has told me about you."
Barney: "Cupie?" Who on earth is "Cupie?"
Thelma Lou: "Ha, ha, well, I am ashamed to say, me, Barney. Vince nick-named me "Cupie" in our junior high year because one day I wore too much rouge. You do understand, Barney? Cupie as in doll?"
Barney: "Yeah, I do understand. Everything is coming pre--tttttt--yyy clear."
Thelma Lou: "Now, Barney. It's not like that. Vince and I were just going to Marelli's for dinner--you know, "our" place, Barney. Would you like to go with us?"
Barney: "With you?" "Thelma Lou, if you remember, Thursday night is our middle of the week date and has been our middle of the week date for months, but if you want it to be just you and Vince here, I can take a hint."
Vince: "Hey, Barney. I can just sit this one out if you are worried. "Cupie," I mean, Thelma Lou and I are just good friends. That's it."
Barney: "No . . .no. Let's all go to Marelli's and we can go in my new car that I bought from that old lady who we sent to the pen a few years ago. Mrs. Lesh. She gave me a sweet deal on this Crown Victoria that was kept in a garage up on blocks and I saved a bundle."
Vince and Thelma Lou exchange looks while Barney is boasting.
Do you get the route where this episode is going? Thelma and Vince "do" have the same feelings for each other, but Vince is having a tough time getting a divorce from his wife and Thelma Lou knows that if she chooses Vince, Barney's life will crash in on him, so therein we have the dramatic formula for an interesting, but funny Andy Griffith Show.
Be honest. If it had been possible for me to mail or deliver these plot ideas to Aaron Ruben, the script supervisor for The Andy Griffith Show, would you have watched one or any of these?
Thank you no matter how you voted.
Good night, Bessemer, Alabama.
© 2016 Kenneth Avery