- Entertainment and Media
Answers to your most vital questions!
Will 'ya merry me?
Answers to your most perplexing questions!
Here, in the first section are some of the answers to questions girls have asked me. Try to figure out what the questions are before you look down - and please, no cheating!
The top 10 answers to your most pressing questions;
2) 13.5 inches
4) All nite long
5) Not on the first date
6) Hot and covered with butter
Does that answer your questions? Now, i have been as honest and upfront as possible here, and would in no lie or mislead you in any way.
Now, your questions....
1) Should I have sex on the 1st date? 2) How big are your feet? 3) What's your favourite color for a girl's panties? 4) How late is McDonald's open? 5) When should I tell a guy that I live with my ex-husband? 6) How do you like your popcorn? 7) What do Mike Tyson and Evander Hollyfield do for a living? 8) What do you call someone from Brazil? 9) What type of chicken meat do you prefer? 10) What make of tennis racket do you own?
I once was loved (or, I had a dream)
I also put out a tender to all of the girls that I have known intimately, for them to post thoughts and positive memories of our time together. Here are ten of the more popular;
Well, that's kind of embarrassing. Maybe the memories i have of our times together are either one-sided or completely imagined?
Okay, now I have re-asked the same girls whether or not they remembered all of the good times we had together. 9 out of 10 exes said that they couldn't remember exactly who i was, 19 times out of 20 (rather sad, statistically speaking!).
Could it be that all of the great times i remember were either made up or came from movies that I''ve watched? No, no, that can't be it! Could it?
But, seriously... I've never asked a girl to marry me, yet I've been "pre-engaged" three times. WTF is "pre-engaged" anyways? And why did I always end up with the nut bars? I can truthfully say that I have been with at least 7 or 8 girls who have said "I love you" on our first date, or on the nite that we first slept together (most of which were on the same nite).
When I grew up (about 2 years ago), I came to the realization that girls are genetically crazy. Oh, but wait - these all happened while i was working at an aerospace firm as a client trainer, teaching jet pilots and their trainers and maintenance crews how to setup, maintain, use and repair full-flight simulators. Sounded like a really well-paying job at the time, I guess. Reality check; the most I made while doing this was about $38K per year. I made more money as a mover, working my way through college, than i ever did as a technical writer after gaining 3 college diplomas!
The moral of the story;
Why does there always have to be a moral to every story? Did Ismael's battle with a whale have a moral? Well, okay, bad-ass choice there, eh? Oh, that and don't go to college unless you're taking a trade like plumbing or electrical engineering, or any one of the trades that, when working at it, you can ask for people to pay cash, with no receipts, and have the customer be extremely gratified!