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Are Leggings Making Me Fat?
The Leggings Conspiracy
OK, I get it. The title is a little deceiving. I realize leggings can't be making me fat. My inability to stop eating ice cream is making me fat. My desire to take naps instead of working out is making me fat. However, I must admit I believe my leggings are contributing to my weight issues. I mean, if you've got to blame something, it seems like a likely candidate. Let me explain and I am sure you will agree.
Let me tell you something about leggings - they are very forgiving pants. I lovingly refer to them as "stretchy pants." You know what is great about stretchy pants? You can gain weight and they do not judge you. They keep stretching right along with you.
Jeans are awesome, but they are rather unforgiving. Even if you get the kind that stretch, they can only go so far. I also recently read that denim sales are down for teenagers... but the American public's weight is going up. Is this a coincidence? I think not. I also learned the sale of leggings is sky-rocketing.
So are these seemingly innocent pants encouraging weight gain in our society? I think so! When I wear jeans, I know I can only afford to gain about 5 pounds... maybe 10 if I am lucky. If I wear leggings, they are going to accept at least a 15 pound weight gain before I start to hear the stitching pop. If you can deal with some major muffin top action, those leggings still have some life in them if you gain past 15 pounds. Gasp! Chances are, you only paid $10 or less for them anyway. If they bust one day, so be it.
(P.S. If you paid more than $10 for your leggings and they are just some boring solid color, you paid too much. Just saying!)
If Pants Could Talk
Jeans: Ouch, looks like you are gaining weight. Are you trying to use the zipper right now? Don't think so, fatty!
Dress Pants: Oh man, do we have to go to work again? Oh no, is it Susie's birthday? You are going to eat cake again, aren't you? Nope, I quit. I can't zip or button anymore. I am done.
Leggings: It's OK, honey. I know you were extra hungry last week. It happens to the best of us. I'll bet most of this weight gain is just bloat anyway. Yep, I am happy to accommodate you.
Yoga Pants: You don't feel like doing yoga again today? OK, that is cool. Sure, pizza sounds good. A little extra weight, nah, I can hardly tell.
Short Shorts: No, just no. And put the burger down now.
Oh, yoga pants, don't think you are not getting some of the blame in this situation. Yoga pants are like the classier (if that is possible) version of leggings. The bottom of the legs typically flare out to make them look more like regular pants. The fabric is often thicker, so the top of the legs tend to look a little nicer than leggings. But let us not forget... the fabric is still stretchy. Yoga pants are also forgiving pants. For this reason, yoga pants, I also blame you.
I realize yoga pants are intended for yoga. I need to be honest with you... I see a lot of people wearing yoga pants, but I hardly know anyone that does yoga. Let's not kid ourselves about why anyone wears yoga pants. Here is a list of the activities I do while wearing yoga pants:
- Watch TV
- Read books
- Go shopping
- Go for a walk
- Talk on the phone
- Lounge around the house
- Prepare food
- EAT FOOD!
- Attempt to pass off black yoga pants as dress pants at work by wearing a long shirt.
As you can see, nowhere on this list is "yoga" listed as an activity. Yet, I have at least 5 pairs of yoga pants. I highly recommend them. I find New York & Company to have the best yoga pants because not only can my big butt squeeze into a medium (thanks for the compliment / dishonest sizing), but it also makes my thighs look deceivingly thin. Thanks, New York & Company, and thanks for the coupons since I can't afford the pants otherwise.
Take a Look in the Mirror
Now is the time we need to ask ourselves some hard-hitting questions:
Are stretchy pants making me fat?
Are leggings, yoga pants, and sweatpants ruining my life?
Should I actually do yoga while wearing yoga pants?
These are the questions that haunt me (well, not really, but that sounded pretty impressive). The truth is, just because your pants will allow you to gain weight, doesn't mean you should take them up on the challenge. It is easy to let yourself go in the colder months when those leggings are keeping your legs nice and toasty, but at some point, the shorts must come out. That day, when you can't get any of your shorts to go past your thighs, that is when you realize, maybe... just maybe... those leggings are making you fat.
Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle
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