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The 2015 Music & Sandwich Guide Leaked!

Updated on March 4, 2015

The 2015 List is Leaked!

Let's face it, we've all mulled over in our heads from time to time, "Wow. This sandwich doesn't match the music track I'm currently listening to right now! What the Sh*t Drake!" Well -- you're not alone. Many Americans tussle with the roller coaster of emotions when coupling music artists to the hankering for a hoagie. I'm not here to elucidate on why you don't eat Shrimp while listening to Vampire Weekend -- that's just common sense. I'm here to open those stoned beet red eyes to a a whole other level of lust. I'm talking a nice pair of big fake jugs in your face while you're piping her best friend in the cheeks. Anyway, it's finally leaked (4 Artists). Here's a teaser for the Music & Sandwich Guide for 2015.



Report: Drake's songs are filled with emotions and his pockets are filled with dough. Kind of like a White girl from Starbucks. If Drake was a girl, he would have High Tan Ugg Boots and an Audi bought by Dad. Expensive healthy sandwiches pair tremendously with his emotionally driven songs

Sandwich: Sliced Avocado, Cranberries, Apple Chips sautéed in tears on an Everything Flagel with Chipolte Mayo.

Iggy Azalea

Report: My word. I would give a small child a swirly just to have that rump roast of a booty on my face. Too bad she looks like Shawn Wayans from The White Chicks but I can look past that. Her bad girl attitude is not only on point, but getting everyone riled up. Kind of like these new pretzel buns!

Sandwich: Turkey Thigh (Dark Meat), Roasted Banana Peppers, Lettuce, Monetary Jack Cheese, a hint of Buttsweat on a Buttered Pretzel Bun



Report: Who is Skrillex? A teenage emo girl with a haircut rendered by a weed whacker? Or one of the BEST DJ's on the EDM circuit? Trick Question! Neither! When he's not in the parking lot of a 7-11 smoking his Newport Menthol cigarettes practicing kickflips, he's creating beats that sound equivalent to dropping nuts and screws down a garbage disposal. There's so much variance and irregularity in both his presence and his tracks to the point where it's impractical to confide this hormonal teenager to a specific genre. He seems to have combined all the ingredients of musical production into one track.

Sandwich: All items in the fridge that are about to expire, Soy Milk, Cabbage, slow cooked in a crock pot for 4 hours, then spooned inside a Sesame Seed Bun.


Wiz Khalifa

Report: So after doing 5 days of research, I found out Wiz Khalifa smokes marijuana. I'm appalled and shocked that someone would submit their body, mind and soul to the devil's lettuce. Did you know 9/10 people end up in abusing their friends and family just after one line of Marijuana? I tried marijuana once, and now I'm gay. Marijuana. Not Even Once! His lyrics do not promote homosexuality though. His stoner filled bars always get me in the mood for Carb City.

Sandwich: Bagel Bites half-way cooked, leftover Chicken Cutlet, Honey Mustard, sandwiched between two Smore's PopTarts.

Song of the Week

More Artists and Sandwiches?

If you want more artists and sandwiches comment below and I'll go to my sources and get the full list!


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