Aries Spears – Wrong To Sue Zo Williams
Before the Altercation
TMZ covered the eruption of Zo Williams on Aries Spears but for a moment let's hit rewind and review the situation. This lion vs hyena code of conduct is vastly different. To be fair on a two hour radio show Aries spent probably 10 minutes kissing up to Corey Holcomb. A sincere complement is easy and heartfelt; it doesn't consist of the “Hollywood” fake pretentious presentation. The kissing up complements were so piled on and insincere it caused Corey to look at Aries Spears sideways and advise him that “it's not for me to say” if he's one of the top three comedians. The co-hosts disagreed on everything from the lack of progress under the past presidency regarding African Americans to men dressing up in dresses for the sake of comedy. A difference of opinion is acceptable. What is not acceptable is talking over other people, rambling on emotionally as a man, slapping someone's hand down, constantly touching/hitting someone, and telling someone how you will put hands on them in response to them addressing the issues of disrespect. They say gin makes you sin so the Tanqueray must have kicked in as Aries Kept talking and soft hitting Zo Williams as if they were good buddies. Zo Williams reportedly mentioned to Aries Spears about violating his personal space during break which clearly was ignored by Aries Spears. Let us not forget why Aries took a minute to call Darlene, a co-host on the show an “Asian *itch.” During the radio show Aries kept drinking which is another form of disrespect if you know you can't control your liquor. Zo Williams experienced a “last straw” moment when he was given the floor by Corey Holcomb to state his final thoughts and once again Aries Spears disrespects him to talk over Zo. While another response could have been for Zo to express his annoyance then leave the show until he could get control of his frustration. It is not everyone else's responsibility to overlook disrespectful behavior and interaction.
Let me be the first to acknowledge, as Zo Williams has, that the issue could have been resolved without violence. You can state your case and walk away from the situation when you're dealing with someone not operating at full capacity. If you know someone is pushing your buttons by their behavior it's best to cut things short and let Corey Holcomb and Darlene know you have to go because you can't do this anymore. On the other hand let me express why this maybe the perfect Iyanla Vanzant moment for Aries Spears.
Doctor Mark Goulsten said it best on the 04/17/2017 The Anger-MIS-Management Show regarding how the situation could have been handled differently. Doctor Goulsten's suggested response would be to let him keep going for a little bit and then look him straight in the eye and say: “you gotta be kidding me” - “You're trying to provoke me so that I don't show you how freaking crazy you are, how insecure you are, how much of an alcoholic you are and you know I'm not going to do that because it will embarrass you.”
Corey's advice to Aries
Best advice given to Aries Spears by Corey Holcomb – “Don't switch up for Hollywood, make Hollywood switch up for you.”
“I hear you talking over me, my girlfriend do that”*****************
Corey Holcomb starting clowning by screaming over the microphone …........ “you talking over me”
“You know what I'm sayin?”– Aries Spears
“No I don't!”– Corey Holcomb
Aries Spears could not even understand when Corey Holcomb said he's where he wants to be. This message completely went over Aries Spears head because he's stuck on thirsting for fame and compromising himself to reach stardom. Corey Holcomb advised and confirmed there is something you're doing which is the reason why you aren't successful. Corey really gave life to Aries Spears in terms of being a solid man and not being so thirsty for success.
Now before the radio station break Zo jokingly made it clear to Aries Spears that he wasn't going to be touched on anymore. During the show Zo had already pushed himself back from the table and microphone because Aries Spears kept reaching over him and touching him repeatedly. Wise people once said you speak with your mouth and not with your hands.
The Last Straw
Now from the start of the show there wasn't this animosity between Zo Williams and Corey Holcomb. During the show several times Corey Holcomb made jokes about Aries Spears talking over everyone and yelling over the microphone just to make the point that he kept interrupting people. Aries kept drinking which is another form of disrespect when you are most likely aware of how you behave with liquor at his age. If you know you can't handle alcohol then you shouldn't keep drinking while operating as a guest on the show. Zo's “last straw” moment when he was given the floor by Corey Holcomb to state his final thoughts and once again Aries Spears disrespects him by over-talking him and that's when Zo snapped and threw elbows, literally. Perhaps Aries Spears in his intoxicated state had not realized how much his behavior was annoying the other hosts even though he was told several times about talking over people, not allowing others to express their viewpoints, and violating Zo's personal space. Now when Zo Williams got loud and said he had taken “enough of his sh*t”…..that should have been a moment where you stop and realize there is a major problem that needs to be addressed. A normal person in this situation would have asked “What's your problem?” seeking clarification for why Zo Williams was so mad. Instead of thinking clearly and realizing he may have been doing too much, Aries Spears decides to play tough guy and let his ego go wild. Instead of clearing up the situation or even offering to go outside to discuss what the problem is he escalated the situation by playing tough guy about what his hands can do. Again a man that has clarity and wisdom does not keep himself in a state where he is out of touch with reality unprepared to defend himself. As a man when the footage leaked out to the media Aries most likely felt embarrassed because he didn't defend himself and the video surfacing hurt his pride as a man. Instead of reviewing the situation objectively in his mind remaining silent to think Aries turned into a text message gangster. How can you fail to protect yourself as a man but decide to play text-message gangster threatening Corey Holcomb about possibly sending your people in the streets to address the situation. This approach may have given the idea to Aries that he was standing up for himself but he only made himself look worse in the eyes of others.
Now you want to sue. Aries Spears threatening to sue is not the proper response. He's making his image look worse and the first thing African American men with disputes should do is run and get attorney's involved resulting in negative consequences if it can be avoided. Keep in mind TMZ only played a small part of the show and not the behavior that led up to the altercation. Aries Spears talked about street love from New York, is that how the game goes now? Someone elbows you, you go home shocked, then send text messages threatening having someone do something to them, not manly-the time to stand up for yourself is when Zo Williams threw the first elbow, then you try to mention suing someone. You wanted to be on the show, you disrespected other people, you played a role in that situation escalating to that point. Zo Williams invited you to his show to apologize to you and discuss the situation partly because he's embarrassed that he let you get him frustrated to that point. This would be the opportunity to voice your side of the situation and apologize as well to Zo Williams.
Jesus Take The Wheel
Drinking excessively while a guest on a radio show is not a good idea.
Over-talking everyone on the show is not a good idea.
Constantly touching someone's arm and chest when you're talking is not a good idea.
Threatening another person via text message for “other” people to do work is not a good idea. Discussing the most money you've paid for a prostitute not a good idea.
Hating on people that have achieved success is not a good idea.
Aries Spears speaks of growing up in a mother reared household and sometimes that lack of masculine energy or male influences that can guide you into manhood causes the way you interact with others to be non-masculine. Often with men that have these experiences, not addressed, they go through life extremely emotional begging for other people in life to approve of them seeking validation from others. This situation brought to life the “issues” he has that need to be addressed. Conducting yourself as a man, pursuing your career instead of being a loud-mouthed hater criticizing others success, paying for sex (come on now), disrespecting others, and then playing victim when someone has exceeded one's tolerance speaks to lack of manhood.
If Aries Spears took responsibility for his part he could have accepted Zo's apology and willingness to set the example of how two grown men can admit both made poor choices. Instead Aries Spears decides to threaten to sue because his manhood took a public beating. You can't go through life so thirsty for stardom that you openly advertise you're willing to sell your soul for fame. Perhaps the reason why Aries hates on other comedians is the reason why he doesn't get the opportunity to go to another level. Who does Aries Spears not criticize? There is a game in life and playing the game means different things for different people. Aries Spears needs to take some time and accept his path in life instead of being so thirsty. Plenty of people did not reach stardom until late in life. It's ok to try and duplicate the success of Kevin Hart but criticizing others that have fame and throwing salt thinking you should have better or more success than them is not the way the universe will deliver the desires of your heart. I'm sure it's frustrating to be talented but advertising that you are willing to do ANYTHING to get stardom and money on a larger level. You have to find peace within yourself and learn to have some type of integrity. Thirsting to the point of desperation will not allow you to have peace or the level of success you want. You have to have a line in the sand -what you will and will not do. For this reason Aries Spears needs to talk to someone, I think this thirst for a higher level of fame is eating him up inside.
In short, have the conversation as 2 grown men that made poor choices, and move on showing the world that African American men can heal wounds.