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Top 10 Worst Things to Get in the Mail: Bad Mail That Just Plain Sucks
Nobody Likes Bad Mail
Admit it: you've frantically peered outside your window nonstop or paced around the mailbox at least once or twice in your life, waiting for that one special package or letter.
But it didn't come.
Instead, you got something much worse: bad mail. Bills, court documents, junk mail, and a box stuffed with other unwanted crap.
It could have been worse, though - much worse. Check and see if any of the mail you've recently received - or sent- falls on the list of the Top 10 Worst Things to Get in the Mail.
When you woke up, you were whistling and happily planning a fun-filled weekend.
Then you received a stack of unpaid bills in the mailbox. Oops - you forgot all about that doctor's visit. And that electric bill. Okay, and maybe your car note, too.
So much for that fun weekend that you had in mind. Looks like you'll be spending it at home on your couch. With a pack of Ramen noodles and some store brand soda.
Remember that roommate you had like 5 years ago? She's suing you.
Oh, and you're a witness for a crime that your idiot neighbor committed. And your ex has decided he doesn't like the amount of child support that he was court-ordered to pay.
Time to call your lawyer - assuming you have any money left after paying all of your bills.
A Letter From Your Best Frenemy
Hello! Sorry I haven't written for awhile - my job as a corporate lawyer keeps me quite busy. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you - did you get my gifts from Italy? We were going to go to France again, but I figured, what the heck, may as well try something new.
The kids are doing great. Sally is on the honor roll -again - and Johnny is the football captain. He's only a freshman, but colleges are already fighting over him. Can you imagine?
Oh, and my husband got promoted! He's now the Senior Vice President. It came with a nice salary increase, so we're probably going to sell this beat up old 5 bedroom house soon.
Life is absolutely wonderful - hope you're also doing well!".
We all have at least one friend like this. It's okay if you don't want to read her letters. Just throw them away, unopened. It sucks when mail gets lost before it even arrives at your house, right?
Looks like you didn't get that job you applied for. Good thing your boss doesn't know you were exploring your options.
Oh, and the publishing company hated your manuscript. Obviously they don't know talent when they see it.
And so much for going back to school at your local college. Apparently your GPA does not meet their high standards. Okay, maybe you shouldn't have skipped all those classes at your last school, but whatever.
A Foreclosure Notice
Hope you don't like your house very much. Looks like you won't be living in it for much longer.
Is it too late to file for bankruptcy? Maybe your lawyer frenemy can help you out. Sigh.
It was such a pretty house, too.
A "Pay or Quit" Notice for your Car
Remember that time you forgot to pay your car note? Turns out they can take away your automobile when that happens.
Time to start saving up for a bus pass. Don't forget to invest in some good tennis shoes.
Oh, and don't bother trying to hide your car. They'll find it eventually.
You used to enjoy browsing through catalogs, circling all the things you were going to buy with your next paycheck.
That was before you realized that you were majorly in debt and in danger of losing your house and car. Stupid catalogs, toying with your emotions.
Your son told you he was having a little bit of trouble in Algebra. He didn't tell you that "a little bit of trouble" meant he was failing the class.
Oh, and how did your daughter end up with a "D" in gym? She told you that you get points just for participating...oh. Wait.
Great. Now you have to ground them both and listen to them fight all summer. And pay for tutoring.
A Chain Letter
Chain letters aren't real. Chain letters aren't real. Chain letters aren't real.
But wait - do you really want to take any chances? Go ahead and send Molly Morgan $20. You don't want to find out what happens if you break the chain.
Or do you? It can't be that bad, right? RIGHT?!
Health insurance, address corrections, retirement benefits - does anybody actually like filling out a mountain of paperwork each year?
Maybe your kids can do it for you. They have plenty of free time now that they're grounded for the summer.