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Be Your Own Dentist: Self-Dentistry For Dummies Book
Looking for a quick way to stop that aching pain from your wisdom teeth? Need a cavity filling re-done but can't afford to see a professional? Well, you're in luck - I've recently authored a new book called "Self-Dentistry for Dummies" that teaches you how to do all that and more! And don't let the tittle fool you, it goes past the topic of self-dentistry and covers the basics needed to open your own dental operation - all without the rigorous and costly four years of schooling and additional training usually required!
Level 1 Brief
Believe it or not, most of you are already skilled and knowledgeable enough to obtain a Level One Dentistry Certificate! All you'd have to do to obtain one is take a very simple test. How simple? Well it's only five questions, and I'm fairly certain even a mentally impaired dog could pass it... though perhaps not with flying colors.
sǝıʇıʌɐɔ ʇuǝʌǝɹd oʇ ˙5
ɯooɹɥʇɐq ǝɥʇ ˙1
Level 1 Test
- In what room do you generally keep your toothbrush?
- What kind of paste do you put on a toothbrush?
- True or False: Brushing your teeth twice a day reduces the risk of getting a cavity by 50% or more.
- How many times do you need to brush your teeth a day?
- What is the importance of brushing your teeth?
Now compare your answers with the ones to the right. Did you get at least 3 out of 5 correct? Congratulations, you've passed! You're qualified to floss, brush, and spit (after you pay me the $50 licensing fee, of course). Now you're ready to move on to level 2.
If you want to obtain a level 2 certificate, you better like power tools. In order to become proficient enough to obtain a Level 2 Self-Dentistry Certificate, you will learn how to do things like:
- Grinding your teeth with a Dremel Tool
- Making sedatives from ingredients in your medicine cabinet
- The many uses of a mini jack hammer
- Filling Cavities with a glue gun
- And much much more!
Sample Questions From the Level 2 Test
- In thirty seconds or less, name five emergency uses for dental floss.
- What are three benefits of using an electric toothbrush over a manual?
- A small inquisitive being, of which you were in a position of authority over, desires to shove a toothbrush through it's ear canal. What might you do in order to persuade it otherwise? Would you persuade it otherwise?
- Which five power tools are must haves for self-dentistry? Why?
Embracing Level 3
Here we go! I was not originally going to include this precious information, but I knew it would increase the value of the book ten-fold. I'm not going to give too much away, but it basically covers just about everything you need to know about safely operating on other people's teeth and starting your own practice. You start to learn about how to use the real tools, rather than being handy with common power tools, and where/how to get them. It also offers some good suggestions for being able to keep your practice open for the longest amount of time possible while avoiding authority figures who might misunderstand you. For instance, it hooks you up with some connections so that you can rent an RV dental office and collect a large variety of ID's and license plates. Such expenses are costly but, if you play your cards right, you should earn the money back very quickly! Don't think this is all that's covered but, again... I don't want to give too much away.
Samples Level 3 Test Questions
- If you had to skip country, what flight carrier would be your safest option?
- You're being chased by a cop car while in a 38-foot rig. What are your best options?
- You're on your way home from Mexico with some anesthesia, a wireless dental drill, and some probes when a US Customs officer stops you and requests to see your ID. You realize that you must have left it somewhere. He is alone and you notice that one distant security camera is the only witness around. What do you do?
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