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Being Mary Jane New York

Updated on January 15, 2017

New Season

MJ New York

Recap

MJ is in a new location -New York. Time to scope out men and take someone home for the night before engaging in your journey to meet Mr.Right. The old MJ used to not only know names but had several at home kits to determine any diseases her partner may have and required them to use protection. The new MJ wants to get her feet wet in New York and has a complete stranger come to her place and even leaves him at her place when she leaves for work. This man, who just happens to show up at your place of work, who she knows nothing about is a recurring guest. This man may or may not be involved with someone. This man could be homeless or living a lifestyle substantially different than MJ's position in life. This man who could be a nut job like the man portrayed in The Perfect Guy movie.


When you are ready for a long term relationship you must be ready to handle yourself in a mature manner, i.e. grow up. Inability to control your urge for instant gratification doesn't make one a great candidate for a healthy long term relationship. Clearly the matchmaker was right when she said she wasn't ready for love. I suspect some women may be confused that the matchmaker returned her deposit but the truth is MJ is good on paper but has some things to work on. Having a one-night stand asking someone to tell you that they love you speaks volumes about being emotionally damaged. Not only are you damaged, you let a random guy know that you have major issues from the start. Men are reading you too as a woman: asking some stranger to tell you he loves you before having sex, posts of encouragement on the windows of your apartment, and asking not to know names before engaging in an intimate act-yeah he thinks you've got it all together. Not to mention the one night stand was supposed to be a one night stand but he's becoming a maintenance man. You can't restart how you met someone, sounds cute but that's not how things work. You can not use your body and sexual gratification as a bargaining piece to get attention from men to deflect from doing the work on yourself and placing yourself in a better position to gain what you truly want out of life.



Good on Paper

We are familiar with the term Good on Paper. The person is attractive, nice body, great lifestyle, accomplished, financially secure, great career BUT those non tangible/visible qualities need work. While having fun and spending time with others is great, the person that avoids being alone and comfortable with quiet will make choices that aren't the greatest to have someone around. The person that hates to be alone will trade their body for the attention of someone knocking on their door late at night with tortilla chips and salsa. The person will compromise with a relationship in which the other person doesn't want definition or traces of your existence in their house and doesn't want children although you do. The person considering searching for real love that has to have one more sex partner before celibacy in the form of a one night stand.

Truth Is.....

There are some things MJ needs to address that she has avoided dealing with in her life that keeps resurfacing in different ways. MJ wants to have children but given her fertility issues and past attempts that may not happen. She must also realize that the world doesn't revolve around her 24-7. In a past season episode unknowingly she comes to this man's house, barges through talking on the phone to her girlfriend, kicks her shoes off and places her purse down without even really taking the time to acknowledge this man in his own house-problem. In the attempt to feel attention she often uses sexual gratification like a drug to get her through her loneliness instead of taking that time to dig deeper into herself. Being so into yourself that you are unaware of the needs, conditions, people in your life is a flaw. How deep does MJ get into the lives of the men serving as sexual partners? Does she know anything about their dreams, career aspirations, life goals, volunteer work, or their childhood? She's too caught up in herself and surface interaction to find out what really makes a man tick or discover who he really is beyond surface conversation to have sex. Clubs produce what clubs produce. At a certain age, and certainly at her level of celebrity, she should be more cautious about her activities and image such as bumping and grinding at an underground club drinking and partying all night long. When partying is the most important thing you do with your time after work, don't expect to get out of the life you created believing something different is out there for you. Until you learn to govern yourself, think of other people besides yourself/career, wait-celibacy (https://www.amazon.com/Wait-Powerful-Practice-Finding-Love/dp/1501105299) , and focus on being the person she needs to be to attract the love of her life nothing will change.



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