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Big Butts

Updated on July 16, 2014

Mike's Common Sense

I come from German ancestry, almost all of my forebearers are German. I am a third generation American. However because of excessive in-breeding by my Grandparents, and parents, I am almost all German by descent.

Not too bad really, I was always a very good athlete; but there was one stigma I never could shake, the German Big Butt Syndrome (GBBS). It seems that all Germans (and their progeny) have big butts! And I don't mean kinda big, I mean BIG.

Like I said I was always a good athlete, but even in the best of shape, I still had a noticeable butt. "Bubble butt" is what they called me at work 10 years ago, while at the time I was running 35mi. a week to prepare for a marathon!

Well here I am, 10 years older, and only jogging (maybe shuffling is a better term), 12 mi a week.

The bubble has gotten bigger.

I try not to make a habit of bending over in front of my crew at work. The whistles and the snickers, are very embarrassing! "Hey! I can't help my DNA man! Show a brother some compassion will ya?" And to think what a good boss (jeffe, in spanish) I am to them.

Like "Dirty Harry" said,"A man has to know his limits", and right now my limits are being contained in a 36" waist. At least I know if I hap-hazardously bend over in front of someone, no one will get hurt... unless I clip them with my big butt.

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    • profile image

      Finejoiff 

      3 years ago

      you have done a great process in this subject!

    • profile image

      ruicheearnese 

      3 years ago

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    • profile image

      hallo 

      5 years ago

      hallo

    • profile image

      Cauxusfut 

      6 years ago

      I do believe all of the ideas you have presented for your post. They are very convincing and will certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too brief for novices. May just you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.

      You could definitely see your expertise in the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart. "Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others." by Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill.

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Sandra, thanks for making the trek across the WTF bridge.

    • profile image

      Sandra 

      8 years ago

      I must a butt gal because when I was reading your labels and I saw "best" then I saw the title "Big Butts" I moseyed right on over...is that wrong?

      Very funny post though. I just came across you from the land of WTF. Nice shiny new badge!

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi James! Maybe yours got smaller as you got older, unfortunately mine has not!

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      9 years ago from Chicago

      This is funny! I used to have a big butt. You know, men's butts get smaller as they age and mine has. Now it is regular sized. :D Thanks for the enjoyment.

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Mightymom, Absolutely! In fact my butt is revered by some of the bantu tribesmen, and worshipped by many people along the Amazon river.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Big butts are revered in several cultures, including Brazilian and African American. Is it possible that your crew makes fun of you because they are secretly envious of your rear end endowment?

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi again Trish, Thanks but I don't need your condolences. As my brother so aptly pointed out on my other web site "you can't drive a railroad spike with a tack hammer' ha, I like that one!

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi sixtyorso! My butt draws enough attention all on its own. lol

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Tom, nice to meet you. You know you might be on to something, I'll have to watch those guys!

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi FelineProphet! Of couse it is my gene's fault, it couldn't possibly be the beer and the fatty foods. lol

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi cindyvine! nice to meet you. That is a great idea, wish I had thought of it.

    • muley84 profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael A Muehleisen 

      9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Trish, I am now wearing 36" jeans, and they don't look too bad... as long as I don't bend over.lol

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 

      9 years ago

      I bet Muley's 'genes' make his jeans look just fine :)

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      9 years ago

      Haha...that's a good one...blame it on the genes!

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 

      9 years ago from Cape Town

      If you tell the guys at work you've just insured your butt for a million, they'll marvel at it and not make fun of it.

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Great move Muley drawing attention to your butt and great workout schedule! LOL

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom rubenoff 

      9 years ago from United States

      Funny the stigmas we attach to body types and features. I remember Patrick Stewart saying the people seem to treat him as if he is stupid because he is bald! All that matters is how you feel. Obviously with your running schedule you're in great shape, so forget those guys! I'd be asking them, "So, why are you looking at my butt?" Obviously they find it attractive.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 

      9 years ago

      Oh my!  well, I can definitely relate to the BBS.  And I'm not even German LOL

      Funny, no matter how big its ever gotten, I'm told 'you have a nice butt'.  Hah!  I say.  I'd gladly trade mine in for a smaller one.  Or, maybe not, I'm told men generally like big butts.  Perhaps said so as not to offend me LOL,,who knows?

      You have my sincere condolences :)

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