Weird Things You Can Buy on Amazon
Who wants to buy something run-of-the-mill? Amazon sells some products you just won't find in Wal-mart. When looking for an imaginative gift, why not consider some of the ideas below? The recipient would be thrilled...or they might never speak to you again. Take a risk.
Knitting with Dog Hair
Most dogs shed hair every year and why waste it? This book will show you how to spin it into yarn and knit it into beautiful dog-hair sweaters or stoles. Now people can not only look like their dogs, they can smell like them, too. You can guarantee that if you wear one to a party, no one else will turn up wearing the same item. However, the host's pet dog might show an intense interest in you.
For the man or woman who has everything, a plastic pickle that yodels. The person who thought up this item gained an original design award. Unfortunately, he was unable to leave the psychiatric ward to collect it. But seriously, what could cheer you up more when you are feeling down than a yodelling dill pickle? Buy it for a Jewish country-music lover.
For the ultimate chic macho look on the beach, buy one of these designer mankinis. Sacha Baron-Cohen modeled this style as Borat in the movie, but these are now the hot look in St. Tropez.
One big advantage is that your swim pants can never fall off in the water, leaving you exposed and embarrassed. On the other hand, you might feel exposed and embarrassed all the time. This look is for the man who dares to be different.
Five Pounds of Fat Replica
For less than $90 you can have a solid plastic replica of a five pound lump of body fat. This is very realistic, apart from being made of yellow plastic, as it shows blood vessels in the flab. This is intended to be used for instructional purposes, and is somehow seen as preferable to going to the butcher and buying a lump of real fat for maybe a few cents. However, this is the ideal aid for anyone struggling to diet. Simply place the plastic flab on your dining table and it is guaranteed to put you off eating.
How to Survive a Robot Uprising
Everyone knows that robots are just waiting for an opportunity to take over the world. Don't be caught off guard. This book describes in detail what could happen when robots make their bid for world domination and gives you advice on how best to fight them and, if you can't defeat them, at least stay alive and plot to restore the human race to power. This is an ideal gift for paranoid science fiction fans.
How to Avoid Huge Ships
You know how it is, when you just find yourself bumping into huge ships wherever you go. It's so annoying, Whether you are bugged by tugboats, yachts or ocean liners, this book will help you keep them out of your way once and for all. This is a really useful book.
So many people are now abducted by aliens that a UFO detector is a must for any person who suspects they might be of scientific interest to beings from other planets. Why get taken on board a space-ship, examined, analyzed and implanted with chips, when you can detect UFOs in advance with this superb gadget? Every home should have one.
Outlook for Wooden Toilet Seats in Greater China
This book is very expensive, but it has to be worth it. Who else would have this information? You could keep people at parties spellbound with your comparison of the prospects of wooden loo seats in China when compared to metal seats or nasty plastic things. You might even be spurred on to open a business exporting quality wooden toilet seats to China. There are an awful lot of people in China and they all need toilet seats. Don't miss this opportunity.
Wolf Urine Lure
No, I'm not taking the urine, you can actually buy a wolf's waste products on Amazon. This product has a picture of a deer on the label, but it seems likely that the purpose of the product is not to lure the deer but to deter it from munching your young saplings and crops. The scent of wolf wee would surely put the deer off its lunch. It may seem a little pricey for urine, but just think how difficult it must be to get the wolves to pee into those containers!
Art Print of Paul Ross
This is a special treat for Brits. Decorate your living room, hall or bedroom with a portrait of a smiling Paul Ross. Paul, brother of talk-show host Jonathan Ross, is a well known TV presenter in Britain, often popping up on daytime TV shows to comment on entertainment stories. He comes across as quite a nice guy, but Brad Pitt he isn't. Why anyone other than his mother would love to have a replica of his smiling fizzog over their fireplace is not quite clear. But heck, if there's a crazed Paul Ross fan reading this, here's your chance.
Advice and Info on Gift-Giving
- It's the Thought that Counts: How Not to Choose Gifts
Has a gift ever left you feeling insulted or confused rather than thrilled? Do you ever buy gifts for all the wrong reasons? It's the thought that counts, but just what is the thought behind some of the gifts we give and receive?