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Weird Things You Can Buy on Amazon

Updated on September 16, 2013

Who wants to buy something run-of-the-mill? Amazon sells some products you just won't find in Wal-mart. When looking for an imaginative gift, why not consider some of the ideas below? The recipient would be thrilled...or they might never speak to you again. Take a risk.

Most dogs shed hair every year and why waste it? This book will show you how to spin it into yarn and knit it into beautiful dog-hair sweaters or stoles. Now people can not only look like their dogs, they can smell like them, too. You can guarantee that if you wear one to a party, no one else will turn up wearing the same item. However, the host's pet dog might show an intense interest in you.

For the man or woman who has everything, a plastic pickle that yodels. The person who thought up this item gained an original design award. Unfortunately, he was unable to leave the psychiatric ward to collect it. But seriously, what could cheer you up more when you are feeling down than a yodelling dill pickle? Buy it for a Jewish country-music lover.

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For the ultimate chic macho look on the beach, buy one of these designer mankinis. Sacha Baron-Cohen modeled this style as Borat in the movie, but these are now the hot look in St. Tropez.

One big advantage is that your swim pants can never fall off in the water, leaving you exposed and embarrassed. On the other hand, you might feel exposed and embarrassed all the time. This look is for the man who dares to be different.

For less than $90 you can have a solid plastic replica of a five pound lump of body fat. This is very realistic, apart from being made of yellow plastic, as it shows blood vessels in the flab. This is intended to be used for instructional purposes, and is somehow seen as preferable to going to the butcher and buying a lump of real fat for maybe a few cents. However, this is the ideal aid for anyone struggling to diet. Simply place the plastic flab on your dining table and it is guaranteed to put you off eating.

Everyone knows that robots are just waiting for an opportunity to take over the world. Don't be caught off guard. This book describes in detail what could happen when robots make their bid for world domination and gives you advice on how best to fight them and, if you can't defeat them, at least stay alive and plot to restore the human race to power. This is an ideal gift for paranoid science fiction fans.

You know how it is, when you just find yourself bumping into huge ships wherever you go. It's so annoying, Whether you are bugged by tugboats, yachts or ocean liners, this book will help you keep them out of your way once and for all. This is a really useful book.

So many people are now abducted by aliens that a UFO detector is a must for any person who suspects they might be of scientific interest to beings from other planets. Why get taken on board a space-ship, examined, analyzed and implanted with chips, when you can detect UFOs in advance with this superb gadget? Every home should have one.

This book is very expensive, but it has to be worth it. Who else would have this information? You could keep people at parties spellbound with your comparison of the prospects of wooden loo seats in China when compared to metal seats or nasty plastic things. You might even be spurred on to open a business exporting quality wooden toilet seats to China. There are an awful lot of people in China and they all need toilet seats. Don't miss this opportunity.

No, I'm not taking the urine, you can actually buy a wolf's waste products on Amazon. This product has a picture of a deer on the label, but it seems likely that the purpose of the product is not to lure the deer but to deter it from munching your young saplings and crops. The scent of wolf wee would surely put the deer off its lunch. It may seem a little pricey for urine, but just think how difficult it must be to get the wolves to pee into those containers!

This is a special treat for Brits. Decorate your living room, hall or bedroom with a portrait of a smiling Paul Ross. Paul, brother of talk-show host Jonathan Ross, is a well known TV presenter in Britain, often popping up on daytime TV shows to comment on entertainment stories. He comes across as quite a nice guy, but Brad Pitt he isn't. Why anyone other than his mother would love to have a replica of his smiling fizzog over their fireplace is not quite clear. But heck, if there's a crazed Paul Ross fan reading this, here's your chance.

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    • Theophanes profile image

      Theophanes 4 years ago from New England

      I hear the yodeling pickle is just as disturbing to deer as the wolf piss. Great list though. I feel.... educated? I think I'll keep my $495 and remain blissfully ignorant about wooden toilet seats. On the other hand a UFO detector could be great for parties....

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image
      Author

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Thanks, Theophanes. You could be right about the yodeling pickle. You could buy one and kill two birds with one stone :)

    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 4 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      For those of us that live well inland, the 'how to avoid huge ships' would be a great gift. I don't know about the mankini, however.

      Great hub, voted up and funny.

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image
      Author

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Thanks, Phil Plasma. Be bold, get yourself a mankini to wear while avoiding those huge ships :)

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I think mankinis are destined to become enduring icons of beachwear fashion. If Rudi Gernreich can gain fame inventing the topless bikini and the thong, Borat deserves equal distinction. Rated up!

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image
      Author

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Glad you agree with me, Green Lotus. The mankini is the only truly original advance in male beachwear in decades. If women are prepared to look ridiculous on the beach, why shouldn't men do the same? Thanks for commenting.

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 4 years ago from Spain

      Hi Mazzy. I loved this hub, how long did you trawl through Amazon pages to find all this weird stuff ? looking at that lump of fat made me laugh as I once went with my friend to see a doctor here in Spain, I went to help translate. In the waiting room they had one just like it in a display case, we couldn´t work out what it was and became so curious that I had to take the lid off and give it a poke. We along with the others waiting to see the doctor ended up having such a laugh you´d have thought we were at a party. I had tears running down my face when the doctor saw my friend because I had laughed so much, and my friend looked the picture of health and happiness . I´m sure the doctor thought we were crazy or wasting his time, but he still did his job with the upmost professionalism, and I have never ever enjoyed visiting a doctors surgery so much , now had he been wearing a mankini, well that would have really been the icing on the cake. Think you should link this to my hub about getting it right when buying gifts !! Thanks for giving me a good laugh to start my day :))

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image
      Author

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Thanks, bac2basics. I was spoilt for choice for what to put in this hub, because there are lots of really crazy things for sale on Amazon. I can see the value to dieters of having the lump of fat on display, so maybe that's not all that crazy:)

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      This is very funny and moreso since you have the links there to show these products are real. I am having trouble deciding whether I want to add the Borat bikini or the wolf urine to my wish list.

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image
      Author

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Thanks, xstatic. My advice is, go for the mankini. It will make you a central topic of conversation :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      I really want a yodelling pickle! haha! funnily enough I was chatting to paul ross down the river the other day! true story! he lives just over the bridge from my town! haha! wonder if he knows that? funny stuff! lol!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      the yodelling pickle... that is funny! I wonder how many macho guys would wear the Borat mankini. haha! wolf urine lure, interesting the things people would actually think of purchasing.

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image
      Author

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Thanks for commenting, Nell and lovedoctor926. I wonder how many portraits of Paul Ross they've actually sold? Has he been outsold by the yodelling pickle, I wonder? I can't say I've actually seen anyone wearing a mankini on the beach - but maybe I'm just at the wrong beach :) Maybe Paul Ross should pose in a mankini, holding a yodelling pickle.

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